Its getting better with time and independence. SD23 Feral Forger has no job (still, that I know of Im disengaged) and no license and no car and no college. But since she lives with her mother Toxic Troll (again) its not on me to worry about or fix. I told Husband that he didnt "lose" her - its on HER that all she wants with him is a transactional relationship whereby she only calls or texts when she wants or needs something she is not able to get from someone else.
I also asked him, since he mentioned "losing her" what does he think it would take to "get her back". Groveling and begging? Giving in to whatever she demands from him (living at our house in her old room which is impossible) Any of that is unreasonable. And its all on her, that she doesnt have more than transactional relationship.
As for SD16, shes in summer school. Not my circus to manage. I did help her get a job, and now she has money. I did show her how to get set up with online driving school to get her permit - that she payed for herself. So if she flakes on it its all on her. No excuses other than she isnt ready to drive.
Sounds like you called it correctly. I like how you asked DH to verbalize what it would take to get her back, so he can hear how ridiculous it sounds. Good job! Keep up those healthy boundaries. I will be doing the same with my own feral forgers.
My SSs are different levels of abuse. One SS is mediocre - shows limited amounts of love towards DH, none to me but sometimes does a nice thing and then it's followed by some sort of rejection. Other SS I haven't been in touch with except for minimal text messaging and a phone call if it's a holiday. This one I've made a choice to disengaage with. He love bombs his dad which I am ok with but makes sure to find ways to criticize me and jump on my back. No one asks for money though. This might be as good as it gets.
Is your skid still watching
Is your skid still watching porn?
I'm still suffering LOL same
I'm still suffering LOL same crap different day.
Different but similar
Its getting better with time and independence. SD23 Feral Forger has no job (still, that I know of Im disengaged) and no license and no car and no college. But since she lives with her mother Toxic Troll (again) its not on me to worry about or fix. I told Husband that he didnt "lose" her - its on HER that all she wants with him is a transactional relationship whereby she only calls or texts when she wants or needs something she is not able to get from someone else.
I also asked him, since he mentioned "losing her" what does he think it would take to "get her back". Groveling and begging? Giving in to whatever she demands from him (living at our house in her old room which is impossible) Any of that is unreasonable. And its all on her, that she doesnt have more than transactional relationship.
As for SD16, shes in summer school. Not my circus to manage. I did help her get a job, and now she has money. I did show her how to get set up with online driving school to get her permit - that she payed for herself. So if she flakes on it its all on her. No excuses other than she isnt ready to drive.
Thats where we are as of now.
Well played CLove.
LOL
All Ive got is time...
With butter and Old Bay!
Yummy!
Sounds like you called it
Sounds like you called it correctly. I like how you asked DH to verbalize what it would take to get her back, so he can hear how ridiculous it sounds. Good job! Keep up those healthy boundaries. I will be doing the same with my own feral forgers.
My SSs are different levels
My SSs are different levels of abuse. One SS is mediocre - shows limited amounts of love towards DH, none to me but sometimes does a nice thing and then it's followed by some sort of rejection. Other SS I haven't been in touch with except for minimal text messaging and a phone call if it's a holiday. This one I've made a choice to disengaage with. He love bombs his dad which I am ok with but makes sure to find ways to criticize me and jump on my back. No one asks for money though. This might be as good as it gets.