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The gravy train for BM's other kids

StepmamatoTween's picture

Submitted by StepmamatoTween on Fri, 08/09/2013 - 11:27pm

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General Discussion

I've learned that SO is providing for BM's other children (Not his, they're from her first marriage). Fine, he lived with them for a few years, he was the only normal parent they've ever known, and they could use any positive influence they can get. Its trivial stuff - Netflix subscriptions, gifts, and lord knows what else - but it feels like he's supporting that family and not supporting the family he's a part of now (as well as he should at least...I pay all of the family/house bills and then some). Now, if it was food or shelter, etc...basic human needs, I wouldn't argue with, but its wants and not needs. Do I have a right to be pissed about this?

I go without many things I used to do before he came into the picture because I'm now essentially supporting an entire family on my income, but to learn he's sending money out the back door to two kids who aren't even his about made my head explode. If it was a birthday, fine...I don't like it, but I could look past a once yearly $25-50. But a monthly subscription that costs nearly $100/year?! That $100 would buy me a few pedicures or perhaps a night out...things I'm going without these days. I haven't brought this up to him yet because a. SD11 was the one who told me and b. I need to calm down before I open my mouth to breathe, let alone speak and c. I'm not sure if I'm the crazy one for thinking those kids are on their own or he is crazy for continuing to support two who aren't his.

Am I the crazy one here? (And yes, I know I am in general!) But should he be sending anything to his BM's other kids??

emotionaly beat up's picture

Submitted by emotionaly beat up on Sat, 08/10/2013 - 12:48am

$100 a year, a little under $2 a week, no big deal really. You not knowing about it, doing it behind your back, HUGE DEAL. When you are learning this via stepdaughter, then it becomes not an issue of money, but an issue of trust. I'd be approaching it with him from that perspective rather than a money one. You have every reason to question what else is he doing, saying, giving behind your back. He just gave you that reason.

emotionaly beat up's picture

Submitted by emotionaly beat up on Sat, 08/10/2013 - 6:14am

I doubt it's the hundred dollars he's spending its where he's spending. It and doing it behind her back that's the issue

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sat, 08/10/2013 - 7:33am

It may only be $100 a year but she is the only one footing the bills in their home.

He can't blow money on his ex's kids while depending on the OP to support him.

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Sat, 08/10/2013 - 11:49am

It is not about the money. It's the fact that she is supporting him 100% so he can voluntarily give money to another woman for children that are not his.

Does he work at all? What is he doing with his earnings - because hopefully he earns more than that extra hundred bucks. No one's CS takes 100% of their income.

He's a mooch.

Now I do support my DH almost 100% as neither of us work. That was my choice for my DH to be free to travel with me. But if he started giving money to another woman FOR ANYTHING it would be over in about 5 seconds.