How do you know she goes into a sulk? what kind of sulk? Is this a new thing?

I would say she will just have to get used to it.

I agree with Willow. She will have to deal with it...that is how things are at Dad's house.

You're moving into their home. You want to change that they have always done.

You can't make changes on your own. You're BF has to get his girls in line.

I had to put up with this and her door is kept open, I have to hear her snoring, coughing and singing at 4 or 5 in the morning, he still treats her like shes a baby, shes 6, my parents kept their door closed and ours, still what princess wants princess gets, dos'nt matter what I want.

Actually, my BD8 does this and sit's outside our door at times. She's extremely jealous of my FDH (she's in therapy), she saw us having sex one time (could be more) through the key hole in the door!!!! We have a huge bed, not sure how much she saw but she started freaking out and banging on the door. We spoke with her and were honest and told her thats what adults do when they love eachother and we need privacy.
She continues to freak out and wait by our door sometimes, I think she likes to listen to see if she can hear anything.

I HATE it, she's ruining our sex life bc no matter what time it is we are afraid she's creeping outside our door. She starts freaking out, crying and banging on the door if she thinks we are doing anything. If I go upstairs and he's upstairs she races up there to plant herself in our room and if either one of us has to change and we kick her out she throws a fit. She see's my car pull up and will go right by him so I can't be with him alone. It's SO ANNOYING and it's MY CHILD!!!!! and FYI I spend plenty of time with her she's well taken care of, she's just super jealous and doesn't want to "share" me.

Like I said she's in therapy and we have a long way to go but I just thought I would share that her therapist told me:

to always leave the door unlocked unless we are having "private time" and if the door is locked when she tries to open it she needs to go play..........HA!!!!!! WHAT A JOKE.
She does not follow that at all. We tried keeping the door unlocked bc it was giving her anxiety and she stayed up all night coming into our room multiple times. That was the end of that. We are still having this issue.
My daughter has some anxiety and one suggestion I heard that I may try to keep her away from my room is setting up a baby monitor in her room, not kidding. That way if it is an emergency and she's having a nightmare or something I can hear it but she wont be aware of it and take advantage by talking on it.......idk, I'm trying to figure this out too!!!! It's so frustrating!!!

OMG, goingcrazy--- you just described my life to a T!!! Except in my life its my SS10 who does this to us!!!! Wow the similarites are almost identical. I just posted a blog about how my DH gives my SS too much power in our relationship!!! Your not alone!!

OMG THIS!!!

"actually, SD, our favorite thing to do is urinate on each other in the bedroom." (totally deadpan) I am DYING! That was SO funny! And caught me off guard.

I am so confused about why she is in the bathroom while her dad is showering? Uh...I was never in the bathroom when anyone was showering...other than DH. We were taught that the bathroom is a private place? Doesn't anyone teach that anymore?

DH used to allow SD7 to come into our room and the bathroom if he was in either one at either time. I was able to stop it by explaining to him that if SD7 saw something, Anything really and told her mom, or someone at school, or a friend and they thought something was odd about it he could get into a lot of trouble, and maybe lose custody. Now I didn't do this because I think that he really would, but it is something to think about and it worried him enough that he made those areas off limits to her if the door was shut. I worked at a daycare when I was younger and a school aged child said something about her dad being naked, and her being in the room with him , and we had to report it because it was such an odd thing for a kid to say. If I heard a kid say that now I would ask are your parents divorced? Cause my guess is they were! Anyway just a thought, worked for me, but DH had to lay down the law about it and she didn't like it one bit.

Lucky you that your DH wants to work on it and change things. I left my fiancée because among many other issues he would sleep in one room with his 12 year old daughter( behind my back, not telling me but making the arrangements with his mother) . Yes, we were visiting in his mother`s house for Christmas day and as respectable person I did not sleep in one room with him although we were to get married next year and we were engaged for almost 2 years.His room and the room of his daughter were on the first floor ( next door) and I was put on the second floor opposite to his son`s room and his parent`s bedroom.I respected the arrangements and assumed that everybody sleeps in their room. his mother is very Christian and religious and I respected that until I accidentally knocked on his door to get my laptop back and found his daughter sleeping on a mattress next to his bed.

I was not even allowed to watch the news in his room because his daughter will report that to his mother and I will get into trouble for even discussing the evening news with him ?? And, yes the door was open while we were watching the news and his daughter will sit around with us. I did not have a TV in my room. As if I was the child- weird when I think about it now. My ex was so scared of his mother and daughter that he would keep me away from his room and will start acting strange about it.His son has his own room and never ever did he sleep with his father.

My ex`s mother never apologized or said or acknowledged that there was something wrong with the sleeping situation. I never heard an apology from my ex - rather a lame excuse that it might be kind of not right and that he will work on it. That came 6 months after the sleeping incident as I call it.So I gave him one year to straighten things up and work on the sleeping issue. Mind you his daughter is quite developed for her age and looks like she is 16 but is only 12 going close to 13 now. In another 8 months I stumble upon skype messages from his daughter where she begs him to sleep in his room - real nagging ones - daddyyy please type of messages around 50. I have no idea whether he surrendered and let her in . My guess knowing him is he probably did allow her in. Not clear from the messages.

During all this time I am thinking that he is working on the issues. I disengaged immediately after the sleeping incident and did not go see his daughter or son and made sure that I donot influence the process so I donot call text , or skype unless he seeks contact with me.

Fast forward to a year after the sleeping incident. He has not changed a thing- has lied to me that he is working on things and taking a stand.I was disengaged to give him the space to work on things.Little did I know that he was turned completely against me by his daughter. I was called my him : jealous, not caring about his children. When confronted about not making changes and exposed he said that nothing will change and will be as it is. His mother also confirmed it along with him. A week later he also assured me that nothing will change and will be as it is.

Currently , from what I hear - nothing has changed and as it is . Almost 2 years since I stepped my foot down , addressed the issues, made a big fuss and tried to facilitate change. I was patient, I was kind and understanding only to be emotionally traumatized by his dysfunctional family.The dysfunctional comes from his brother who has a Masters in psychology.

There were red flags along the way. I believed he will change and make the necessary changes.So it seemed at that time that he was genuine in wanting to change his life for the better. Now it looks like it was fake and I was manipulated to help him get to his goal to get an education.There were also other factors that weight in my situation but this was one of the big ones.

Not every situation is like mine but the sleeping arrangements are symptoms about bigger issues around the emotional health of the relationship between a father and a daughter. If they do not get resolved early on the mini- wife syndrome and the emotional damage on the daughters in their future relationships will cause them a lot of grief.

The excuse my ex gave was - I am a single dad and hence it is allowed for me to spend alone time to movies, sleep in one room with my daughter, go bike riding and swimming with her etc. Then I asked - well where is your son? His son was left at home alone...many times neglected with no one to take care of his emotional health and well - being.

One of the respondents said that some single fathers really have no boundaries. It was strange that he had perfect boundaries with his son and none with his daughter.Is it guilt? I donot know.