Friday Night Blow-out Cops came :(
I don't know who pissed in DH's cornflakes on Friday, but I do think it had something to do with the fact that he had to make a court appearance on Friday morning regarding CO and CS. BM is raking him over the coals on that one. Anyway we had the skids this weekend, so when I got home friday the house was a mess like I knew it would be. The skids were asking when supper would be ready but DH hadn't done any of the dishes from their lunch, so I told them that I had to do the dishes first.
DH came in to help with the dishes, but I could tell he was irritated, and when I asked him what was wrong he started throwing dishes all over the place saying that if he had to tell me what was bothering him that their was no point in me figuring it out. What! I just have no idea what that was supposed to mean, we are not little kids.
Anyway I left him to finish the dishes, and I went down to the basement to talk to my BD. He stormed down not 5 minutes later, opened her bedroom door and said "it's over" so I followed him upstairs to figure out what is going on, and he went on a rant saying that it's all my kids fault and that they never do anything around the house, and they are awful etc. All of this screaming and yelling and throwing stuff in front of his kids all under the age of 10. My BS19 came downstairs to see what was going on and DH freaked out on him, my son ran up the stairs to his bedroom and DH threw his door open and grabbed him by the face and threw him down. I ran and called 911. They ended up taking DH and skids to a hotel for the night because no one could get a hold of BM. The police asked me if I wanted him to come back and I said no, that he may come and get his stuff but that was it.
He has no money, barely works, is in debt way way over his head, and really has no where to go. He's been couch surfing at a friends the last couple of days. He is now contacting me saying how sorry he is and wanting to work things out, but I feel like that was the last straw. I feel sorry for him, but I need to be strong to protect my family. My kids are now afraid of him, and they don't want to have anything to do with him. I truly do feel sorry for the mess he's made of his life, but I think he has manipulated and controlled me all along, and I am not sure how to get him to back off.
Tell him if he doesn't leave
Tell him if he doesn't leave you alone, you will get a restraining order.
You block his phone number -
You block his phone number - call your cell phone company if you need help in doing that. You block his email address. You block him in Facebook and other social pages and you don't visit his if any.
You have the police in attendance when he comes for his things which you have packed up and placed on the front porch. When he arrives a note tells him that he must never show his face there again. He never sees you or your children during the removal process and is never given a chance to argue or beg with anyone.
Yes he's made a mess of it but it looks like he's going to take it out on others around him (you and your kid(s) for Gods sake). Your kid(s). So yes his free ride is over and if you feel it necessary you get a court order telling him to stay away.
DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK! I've
DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK!
I've lived through this, it NEVER gets better.
Please.
Change your number, move if you have to. He is not worth the safety of your children or your self. Get a restraining order. I know you have a history and you feel like it would be cruel to do this but it doesn't matter.
You are your first priority!
Be strong and I agree with
Be strong and I agree with the reply's above. He needs to be on his own and figure things out. All you can do is protect your family and yourself when it comes to dealing with people like that. I'm sorry that you all went through that and think you handled yourself great!
Do not let him back in. He
Do not let him back in. He is raging and your kids don't need that...Get him out of your lives....
No way you cannot take him
No way you cannot take him back!! It is your job to protect your children and they do not need to grow up around someone like this!! You deserve better than this and so do they!!
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your support. I am not planning on taking him back, but its reassuring to get affirmation that I am doing the right thing. I am a bit of a sucker for people down on their luck and I tend to worry myself sick over problems that are not my own. I know he made his bed and now has to lay in it, and his problems financially are not mine. I support my family, do not receive CS, and I can't afford to keep supporting him, and eow his children.
He had nowhere to go when we first started dating, and that is the only reason I let him move in with me. I just need to keep remembering that he is just back where he started when we met, and I did not put him in this situation. Thanks again.
You should read some things
You should read some things about codependence. You've described the essential dynamic: "I am a bit of a sucker for people down on their luck and I tend to worry myself sick over problems that are not my own."
He's a loser. Too stupid and
He's a loser. Too stupid and lazy to know when he had it good.
Do you two have children
Do you two have children together? If not, contact a divorce lawyer NOW and don't look back. You mentioned you have a DD. You need to show her that your future EX-husband's actions are not acceptable. When you start doubting yourself again, think about what example you want to set for her. It's ok to grieve the end of your marriage! Regardless of the reasons behind it's end - it's still a major life change for you and your kids.
If you do have children together, contact a divorce lawer NOW.....and insist on supervied visitation!