final arrangements
I've had some health challenges this year, and while things are under control, it made me think of our mortality. I decided we should make our final arrangements. And, as always, nothing is simple in step life.
We already had powers of attorney for finances and health. But, these end at death. If I outlive DH there is no problem. As wife, legally I am in charge. But, if I don't, by law here, his two daughters then are in charge of final arrangements. OSD, for a myriad of reasons, needs to have no authority. YSD is already successor executrix in the will. But, to deny her sister rights she'd have to go to court with the will, and no one wants that mess.
Today I fiind out that my state has a form that DH can fill out that will give YSD authority if I predecease him and ensure that OSD can not interfere. Off to the notary this weekend to get it notarized. One more thing checked off our final to do list.
Won't a Will set internment
Won't a Will set internment stipulations? The executor/trix is bound to make that happen if I am not mistaken.
Our wills name YSD as
His will names YSD as executrix (if I predecease), bequeath what is left, but do not detail final arrangements. That is what we arranged with the funeral director.
Once we had decided upon the arrangements, I asked the funeral director how we could make sure OSD did not meddle in the arrangements. At this point, he showed us the state form that DH will fill out.
Even if we had detailed final arrangements in the will, OSD could cause difficulty for YSD. Yes, YSD would be executrix, but OSD is still DH's child. The law in our state does not differentiate rights between children for final arrangements. The law says 'surviving children'. Funeral directors here don't read wills. Without this form YSD might have to try for an emergency probate court hearing to quelch OSD.
We are trying to make things air tight.
Great move to lock it all up
Great move to lock it all up and remove OSD's ability to drive drama. That protects you and YSD.
THe problem with making a child the Executor of an estate is that it may require that the Executor has to sue a familyt member on behalf of the estate.
My DW is the Executrix of her Aunt's estate. DW sister has stolen $Tens-of-thousands from the aunt and as Exectutrix DW will have to sue her sister on behalf of the estate and maybe even press charges if SIL does not return what she has taken. To minimize the possibility of having sue her sister on behalf of the other heirs, DW and her aunt have decided that SIL will be included in the Will to the same amount she has stolen unless that amount exceeds the equal shares of the other heirs then a law suit and charges will be initiated if criminal charges can be pressed.
IMHO if heirs cannot be decent, they cease to be heirs. The Will should state that clearly. Anyone who in any way constest the last Will and testament receives nothing and the remaining heirs continue to share the entire estate as stipulated with the additional resources voided by the contensting heir.
Grrrrr.
I have no use for this crap and if I have to force accountabiity from beyond the grave, let it be so.
Wills
Our wills already have a provision regarding will challenges. It was put there with OSD in mind. This form is to close the remaining tiny loophole that could be exploited.
I have always been concerned about if I die first. Until we met with the funeral director I had not known there was a state form that we could use. As the funeral director said, we are not the first family to need this form.
I applaud your foresight. I
I applaud your foresight. I think you are doing the right thing, especially for younger SD. It eliminates her having to go back and forth w/ her sister.
That was our goal. YSD should
That was our goal. YSD should not have to fight her sister to follow her dad's wishes. The death of a parent is stressful enough.
You must see a lawer
Even if you buy a hour of there time. Get a will made. Get what you want set up. Now's the time, as in healthy, thinking strate to get everything you want done by the law
We're wrapping up our wills
We're wrapping up our wills too. Even though SD is estranged from DH, he still wants her listed as executor of his will, and POA, should I pass first. I told him I thought that a very bad idea, but he didn't budge. I jokingly apologized in advance to our lawyer because he'll have to deal with her. Oh well, I'll be dead. And my stuff is totally segregated from his and she gets zero from me.
Good Move
We did much of this years ago when I realized what a toxic mess I stepped into. We have funeral arrangements made and paid for, wills done, POAs done, both general and health. Our wills are super detailed, done with an attorney who specialized in estate matters. My DH will have usefrux of our home (it's my house we live in); he has been told that NONE of his kids will ever live in this home and my kids won't allow it. This is why we kept his home, using as rental property. He can always move back there. Our End-Of-Life wishes are documented and my daughter is in charge.
Even with all that, I wonder if we missed something. I don't trust these toxic people who carry the title SK.
Same
We did the same and hopefully covered all the bases. I still expect drama. Worked to stave that off by naming my pitbull niece as executor, as even DH knows he can't trust his kids. My niece is kind, stable, and even-handed but, as they say, she doesn't play. Let me know if you'd like to borrow her. lol!