Not here. My ex and I are cordial as you can get, but we have not taken any trips down memory lane through text/email. Parenting after divorce is a business arrangement. If it's something you wouldn't do with your financial planner, you definitely shouldn't do it with your ex.

For some exes it could be okay. If both have moved on and have no "hidden agendas" then it is possible to be more than just civil. I know exes that are on "friendly" terms as are their new partners/spouses. Who's to judge what works for others?

But it's stupid to declare that this is what should or should not happen between exes. Every situation is different.

DH and the skids take these trips down memory lane, but never with BM's input--at least not that I know of. I HATE it when they start that. I remove myself from the situation when they start if that's possible, but often they do it in the car...since I'm usually the driver I'll turn up the radio and start singing.

I think it's horribly inappropriate for a former couple to reminisce fondly about their times together, especially if they are in another relationship. Everyone knows there were some good times, that's how the skids were made, but don't throw that in my face.

BM destroyed all photo evidence of the life SO had with his kids prior to his divorce, therefore there is no exchange of photos or stories prior to their divorce.

I'm about to leave!! My husband just doesn't understand that its not appropriate for him and his ex to have conversation behind my back. I'm not allowed to know what they discuss or have any say in what goes on with my step children. I would rather die than have them in my house and when they come our life changes. Its no longer about being a "family" its about his kids. I'm never included in planning and its never about what I want to do but rather what makes them comfortable. I end up making my own plans so I'm not rude and hateful. And the minute I wake up on Friday I'm in a bad mood knowing they will be coming over. His youngest crys everytime she talked to her mom because her mom starts telling her how much she misses her, telling her she will be ok, etc... It makes me sick. The oldest is morbidly obese and smells so horrible that we make them change and shower immediately. She never wants to do anything but sits on FB or msg her mom the whole time telling her everything that goes on in MY HOME. Then there's the boy who is mentaly slow, he also stinks very bad, and can barely pronounce his words (hes 13). My husband turns into a very different man when they are here and I hate it. Of course he loves them and says that's when hes happiest. But that makes me angry. I'm his wife and this is OUR home. I feel like I should be a priority as well. These kids come from absolute filth and there mother is beyond horrible. She hasn't shown any of these kids how to be wel rounded kids. She wants to be the friend in their life. She also talks very bad about me to them so when they come here they have no respect for me. I happen to know that the only reason the oldest who is almost 17 only comes over for what she can get from her dad. He always tries to do fun stuff and he's the one who buys their clothes, shoes, school stuff etc... (moms on welfare, wont work, and is a sick excuse for a mother)I went through her phone last weekend and she has her dad listed in her phone under his name not dad. I've tried to tell my husband that this isn't ok. And he says she deals with alot. I'm at my wits end and want to leave my husband. I hate his kids and can't stand how miserable I feel around them. Being a step parent isn't anything like what I imagined.

I do not think it is appropriate at all. That chapter of their lives are closed. Reminisce with the s/kids, if you feel it necessary but not with someone you used to sleep with but are no longer in a relationship with!

How did you find out? I thought he was supposed to keep his BM business to himself?

Its silly of them.....if they wanted to do that shit they could have stayed married.