Enough is Enough!
:jawdrop: Such a wonderful Mother's Day. Mommy and me swim in the morning, a great nap in the afternoon and on stellar behavior all day! It's like my 9 month old knew she had to be on top of her game for this special day of the year. One thing was missing. My stepdaugther's, who have always acknowledged Mother's Day with cards and breakfast or at the very least, a phone call...did NOTHING. Now, for all of those reading, let me preface this statement by saying that I am by no means a Saint, nor am I saying that I am god's gift to stepmother's....but I do a pretty good job and give them the mothering that they need due to the fact that their own mother is a 42 year old child. I won't go into a list of all of the things that I do for them, because a normal person would be doing these things anyway. I can't help but feel completely crushed though. My birthday was forgotten several months ago and after I explained why I was upset my 8 year old stepdaugther asked me to take her to the movies...REALLY???? I think I have had it. I think that enough is enough and it's time for me to let their mom do their job because the crap that I'm getting is not worth the every other weekend "mom and go" routine.
:jawdrop:
I'm sorry that you are hurt,
I'm sorry that you are hurt, and you have a right to be hurt. But if they are young, try to cut them some slack. I was an unappreciative step-daughter at one time, now I am a step mother and it is a no win job. Now I am very thankful that I have my step mother. They will come around in time if that is the worst thing that they are doing.
I think 17 is an appropriate
I think 17 is an appropriate age to know that you have to call.....
If their bm is in their lives
If their bm is in their lives on a regular basis I'm sorry but I don't think they would think to say anything to their step mom on mothers day. I know you said they have in the past but maybe their bm is saying somehting to them along the lines of that you are not their mom and she is their only mom. While that is true I know you just want a little something, however don't expect anything and when you don't you won't feel let down. At the same time stop doing so much their have 2 parents and you are not one of them.
Although I agree with you
Although I agree with you purpledaisies, I think it should be noted the her DH is MIA in this post.
My DH acknowledges me on Mother's Day NOT my SSs. It means more to me that he does this than if the boys would because DH is recognizing and thanking me for all I do as a stepmom for his children.
~BettyRay
Yes of course she should be
Yes of course she should be putting this all on her dh's shoulders not her skids. Her skids are only doing what they are taught and if there is no one to teach them how will they know? I still say she shouldn't expect anything from her skids as they do have their own mom to worry about. I do not in any way expect my skids to say happy mothers day to me. That is my kids job and my dh's not my skids as I did not give birth and their mom is still in their lives.
I still feel like they should
I still feel like they should have said something, though I appreciate the feedback. My DH did remind them. They reside with their BM, but she is a waste of breath to be kind....and I do a lot for them...I'm not going to list it. Anyway...it is what it is..and everyone is entitled to their opinon.
You need to stop doing all
You need to stop doing all that you do for them. IF you are not getting the respect or acknowledgment that you deserve then stop doing it b/c you don;t HAVE to do a thing for them!
Those kids live with their mom, they only see their mom as mom they don;t get that there may be other people in their lives that have helped. No one ever taught them to consider others in their lives. This is to be put on your dh's shoulders.
My dh's step mom gets her feelings very hurt if dh doesn't say happy mothers day to her. But the thing is she was never really in his live heck she didn't even raise her own kids her mom did. But FIL will call dh and scream at him for not calling her. Dh will remind him that step mom is not his mom and never really raised him. She really didn't. We have lots of issues with her anyway this is a lng story. However my point is this that you are not their mom so stop trying to be. The sooner you do the better your relationship will be with them and your dh.
I'm not trying to be harsh but it sounds like they don;t want you to act like their mom so don't.
I agree with you to an
I agree with you to an extent, but if they weren't looking for a mom figure then I don't think they would come to me with the things that they come to me with...nor would I be the one their teacher's contact ect. I think, personally, that a lot of it is being raised poorly by the mother, who is raised by the grandmmother. But, you are right, I need to just stop doing. I guess it's my personality....which isn't always a good thing. There is always more to everyones story...don't you think?
Yes I do really. However tell
Yes I do really. However tell their teacher to talk to their parents. I listen to my step sons when they want to talk and I'm ok with that. But I don't do more for them then I feel comfortable with. I do not worry about their school, grades, and etc. I do worry about their behavior and well being at my house. my dh has visitation as well as your dh does.
What I'm trying to say is how is doing everything that you are doing for them working out for ya?? It's really not right? They are not seeing you as a mom but a friend. Be that friend. And when a situation arises that is for their parents refer them to their parents.
I guess it is a learning
I guess it is a learning process...I'm a teacher and that is a tough mindset to get away from. I suppose I will learn the hard way!! Thank god for therapy!!!!