DH not happy about dog
Hello,this is my firts post here and as every step mum I have looots of problems about my step life but I need an opinion.
My SS13 is coming over 12 days perm month.He is very lazy and creating many agruees between us but since I love my DH i accept the situation and try to be as good as possible for SS.
Anyway,my mum had a heartattache two months ago and now she goes to sanatorium for 3 weeks.Since there in anyone to take care about her old labrador,I promissed her that I will take dog to my flat for that time.
I asked my DH if it will be ok for him and he said”do what you need to do and as you wish”.So then on friday I went there to bring the dog.DH is now kind of not happy and trying to make me feel guilty that I took dog.Of course is not convenient to me also to keep big dog in small flat but there was any other option!
My question is why he is not taking into account that accept to live with his child 12 days per month and he cannot stand dog for 3 weeks!?I feel like he is selfish and I have no support when I have a problem...Plus I know that he likes dogs and he knew my mother dog before and also my SS manyyy times was bringing over his york dog without even asking me.How should I sort it out??
Sorry you’re going through
Sorry you’re going through that. He can’t stand it because he doesn’t think your family is as important as his. He thinks your energy and resources should go to him and his kid. He’s selfish and controlling. Be careful and watch out for yourself. Ignore him if you can but if he escalates I would have a talk with him. If it doesn’t work then you should start complaining when his kid is around. Give him a taste of his own medicine.
Your DH will just have to
Your DH will just have to suck it up. Persons who are not use to having either children and/or pets around do struggle making adjustments and sorting it all.
I'm sure having a large lb in a flat is quite an adjustment. However, you do what you must do when one's mother has recently have a heart attack... your mother doesn't need any more stress worrying about her beloved furry friend while she recuperates.
Perhaps the young teen will enjoy helping out a bit with the dog.
Hi and welcome. I think this
Hi and welcome. I think this is an area where you just have to put your foot down. Your mother is ill and you need to help her out. It is only temporary until she is well agains so he should be supporting you.
Thank You All for supporting
Thank You All for supporting me and spent a while to warm me up! Yes I know DH has to just suck it up same as me last two years living with SS..Im just sad that if in this case I have no support from him what will be having bigger problems?:/
Yes,SS is way more supporting now,kind of excited dog will be here and asked many questions about dog before I brought him.
Sad is that before this situation I was never needed his help...financial,emotional etc.Since Im with him is to be honest first time when Im stressing about something that much..and he let me down:(
Wow. How selfish of your
Wow. How selfish of your husband.
I am curious why he resents you caring for a dog for only three weeks when you say he likes dogs. What could that be about?
No matter. She is your mother. She and her dog need you more than he does right now. She would be crushed to know her poor dog isn't being welcomed with open arms by your husband. I'd suggest to him that he's jealous of the dog -- that might shut him up.
This really has little to do with your SS -- this is about a living being that needs care. It may be inconvenient to your husband, but it is only for a short time and the dog is surely a great comfort to your mother. If SS enjoys the dog, throw that in your husband's face. Dogs rock! What kind of a man resents a dog????
I'd consider what you will do about the poor dog if your mother can't care for it anymore. If you'd want to take that on, I'd be sure your husband knows now that you'll step up if need be. I'd also be worried about your situation -- what happens if you break your leg and need your husband's help? Will he be so stingy about that too?
What a jerk.
Thank you for advice:) I
Thank you for advice:) I think ha has just general problem-we have one bedroom flat and possibly dog will upset him by just walking around,leaving fur everywhere, begging for food while people eating,just normal dogs things..He is 11yo so is not full of energy and he is mostly sleeping so Im sure everyone can stand it for 3 weeks.Im standing manyyy annoying things from him and his son so Im expecting him to be understanding while I need it!
Yes, expect (or demand) the
Yes, expect (or demand) the most from your husband!
I hope your mom recovers soon. Her dog will be a great comfort to her when she's recuperating at home. This is probably hard for the dog as well -- they really like their routine and he's out of sorts in a different place.
Yes,he is stressed and this
Yes,he is stressed and this is also reason why I was so stressed about.I had to bring him by train(first time and train full of people).My heart during this travel was shaking so I can imagine this poor dog heart:(...I hope he will be ok.Mum is happy and for sure if will be easier for her being there and knowing that her dog has good care.