I am having a lot of XW drama right now which is impacting our kid and it made me start to think: what is it about her that makes her so bad to deal with? And then it hit me (again), XW is selfish, immature, self-absorbed, greedy, irrational, manipulative, feels an innate sense of entitlement, lacks self esteem, lacks compassions and is extremely dishonest.

The hard part is that kid loves mommy and tends to believe all the lies and distortions that mommy tells her. I’m not saying that kid shouldn’t love mommy – quite the opposite – I encourage her to love and respect her mom. I think the problem is that mommy is emotionally detached and unavailable (based on the things kid says), kid wants desperately to feel important to mommy, and as a result hangs on any crumb of attention she gets from mommy – even if it is running down dad or his fiance'.

I'm trying to counter-balance the negativity and at the same time teach the kid how to be independent and responsible but mom turns all of that into "since your dad won't do X, he doesn't love you." This is the WRONG message to teach anyone, especially a pre-adolescent girl. So what happens when the little boy says "If you love me, you will have sex with me?"

Ok I'm rambling now but it is so frustrating....

My DF has been great at reinforcing that BD is very much loved.