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change of custody??

stepmommawholovesherskids's picture

My husband and I have been together four years. He was single for two years supporting himself in a small appt. He has two kids he's always has been dedicated to since the day they were born-
But as far as I know he got his ex pregnant within 4 weeks of dating her...stuck around then stupidly got pregnant again..very long story short..anyway for four years now he has lived with me,stepmom, first two years we got along great w his ex, he paid he personally with money orders or cash for child support...never missed a payment...last year he had terrible back pain and had to get surgery which lead him.out of work for almost a year...ex didn't care and brought him to court..it put him 2500 in arrears. We arnt mad, we both realize it costs alot for health insurance daycare,ect. We both saw it coming so now most of it is paid.
Now we both feel we r in a better place financially and physically and want to bring up 50/50 custody-not just for money (its only 50/week now anyway-not alot) but because we have spoke about this for a while now...he doesn'tknow how to approach it....mother has has raised them since babies and controlled everything)
We have been more than willing to help w daycare spots ect...just wondering a civil way to approach 50/50???

stepmommawholovesherskids's picture

No no...my husband pays their health insurance premiums, daycare costs and actual extra cash is 50/week. And we r all on very good terms...

stepmommawholovesherskids's picture

Its 150/week-
I know still not alot but court made that choice. 100 of ut pays for daycare and insurance weekly so tgats why I said 50/week. We r all on very good terms now. I've supported everything for the past year and with his small income,I still do. Hes now a ft student,trying to improve his income..

stepmommawholovesherskids's picture

For a while I've been the mediator so to speak because sometimes he says things that come off offensive. I was trying to find a way to approach it for him and her to speak-maybe meet up and when they do give him tips on how to communicate with her. To be honest, idk if I would want that arrangement. I am a very busy person and may not see them much more anyway...i support the house and everything in it. His financial obligation is correct by the courts since he doesn't make alot. Anything they go without, I buy. Not complaining at all, I'm not rich but I don't live paycheck to paycheck. Yes ur right pregany story may have been irrelevant but I wrote it because they never got a chance to be in love so its been a fight from the start. And he tells me everything...idk if now would be a good time to approach it but maybe in the near future. They r almost over 50% of the time now , he just wants it in writing...

Disneyfan's picture

If he is only paying $50 a week FOR TWO KIDS,how in the world can he afford to have 50/50 custody? If the courts only ordered him to pay $25 a week per kid, then he isn't even able to support himself, much less two kids. That amount is what the courts here (I'm in Brooklyn)tend to award teen dad's, unemployed men.... who end up in child court.

I see that you're in NY. If $50 a week is all that he's paying, you better thank your lucky stars and leave BM alone. If she is working or in school full time, he could be required to pay 100% of daycare/after school care and/or summer camp fees. My ex was on the hook for 85% of health coverage in addition to CS for his two girls. Oh, NY is also one of the state's that requires CS be paid even if the parents have 50/50.

stepmommawholovesherskids's picture

Its 150/week. But 100 goes towards health insurance and daycare. And I work and support the house hold.

Disneyfan's picture

OP,in NY health insurance and day care are in addition to CS. So his CS order is only $50 a week.