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bratty ss... am I expecting to much?

lil_lady's picture

BM recently got a primary care order ever since then ss2 has turned into a NIGHTMARE! SS went from actually acknowledging me to a self entitled spoiled brat. I have been in the picture for 1.5 and spent alot of time parenting. For a few months bf had early work days and I would get the kids up get them ready bring them to day care and pick them up... ect. That said now ss2 wont even let me touch him I try and play with him and pick up one of his toys he screams... and wont take one from me if I offer it. He used to always share food with me now he wont take food from me I have to give it to his dad then he will take it otherwise he screams and says no. If I ask him to cone somewhere he snaps and says no... in his spoiled entitled voice. I dunno how much longer I can take this kid. Today I cut off some chunks of cheese before dinner cause the skids where hungry and dinner wasnt ready. Ss finally takes the last peice abd refuses to say thankyou. Then wants more so I tell him are uou going to say thankyou he nods I get him another peice then he snatches it I ask for a thankyou. Ss smiles like a smirk then shoves it in his mouth before I can stop him. SO just sits there and says ss is having a bad day... Am I expecting to muh for SO to hsve done something? I wanr to try to get this boy comfortable but this is making it really hard to not resent ss.

lil_lady's picture

Also any suggestions as to how to work with ss on this one? Obviously I will have to get SO on board but I am guessing we have a discussion coming I have since refused to engage with ss if he cant seem to do anything proactive while I am being treated like crap in my own home. I would at least expect a morsel of so trying to do something beyond nicely asking ss to say thankyou. Then again what can be done... he is only 2.

lil_lady's picture

We had 50/50 now mom calls all the shots and the kids are with her we get them 4 days every 2 weeks basically. When we had 50/50 I was doing alot now I am not doing as much. The reason I brought that up is because ss has no reason to be acting like I am a stranger.

lil_lady's picture

My problem with the terrible 2s theory is he only does it to me... his dad does anything and its right... I so much as try and play with the kid and its ww3.

lil_lady's picture

Thats the thing if ss was like that with SO as well I would be fine. Fact is ss is a complete asshole to only me and sSO will do nothing about it.

lil_lady's picture

SO just lost it on me and told me to stop pouting. Seriously?! How about you dont raise your son to be an asshole to your gf and I will start engaging myself.

Stupidlyoptimistic's picture

Just a thought...could BM possibly be saying something to him about you that is making him act this way? Also, if he has gone from seeing you and SO 50% of the time to 4 days in two weeks, he may be acting out because of this big change. To a two year old, he might see this change as his dad not wanting to see him, and you are taking over in his dad's life. He may just be going through an adjustment period. It would be difficult at any age, but two year olds already have short fuses. Add a big change to that, and they explode. If I were the dad, I would 1.) discipline the child when her acts this way. Regardless of the child's reason, disrespectful behavior is unacceptable. 2.) Show the child that he is loved and wanted. At 2 yo, you can't reason with him, but he will understand actions. Dealing with a 2 yo is hard. Dealing with one in this type of situation is awful. Good luck to you!

Also, kick your SO in the a$$ for not correcting this behavior. If he gets away with being a brat now, he will be way worse later.

lil_lady's picture

I agree I dont think flat out punishment would have been a great direction. However, I would have expected him to at least take his ss off of his lap and stop snuggling him while politely asking for a thankyou. I expected some kind of negative result so ss knew what he did was not acceptable. SS knew what was expected he knew what he was doing was wrong and to top it all off he did it with a smile. This was by the way after he had done it, asked for more said thankyou to get me to get more then refuse to say it and pulled this stunt.