If you spend too much time looking at everyone else, your situation is always going to seem worse. No family is perfect, and while yes, there are times where I feel completely upset over the fact DH was a stupid teenager and now we're stuck dealing with BM, BUT, I kind of realized that everyone has issues, they're just different.

Everyone puts on a face. That white picket fence family, may have some huge marital issues. Or those high school sweethearts who married each other, may have just married out of convenience, because that's all they've ever known. It's not my place to judge, but I highly doubt any of them are happy-go-lucky perfect either.

I know we all have off days and days with regret. Some of these "unique" stephe!! situations have completley stressed me out into being irritated and anxious the past few days especially. But I also know that to me my DH is worth it. He's working with me, I honestly believe he's my soulmate, and even though I wish I could have been his only one, I can't live with regret, or everything I'm dealing with now would eventually just become too much.

I might as well have stayed with my ex husband since everything I've been through with the partners after him was much worse than anything that was wrong in our marriage. I think the grass is always greener, and in my opinion, it's best to stay with the first marriage/nuclear family unless things are truly abusive, because what you'll find next is the same bs, only now with a BM and skids...but that's not how I did it. And now I also have my beautiful, smart, fun, loving BD.

I was married for almost 20 years before we separated. We had a child together. It was hell. I've only been in my current relationship for a year, but frankly I've been incredibly lucky. I get on well with my SKs my bioson does, too. My partner demands they respect me - but he's done it from the start, so it's no drama. Just little things he says when he thinks they might not be. Our relationship with each of our own kids IS more important than our relationship together because they are kids and we are adults, but I never feel like a lower priority and I don't think he does either. Certainly kids' opinions, their whims and their momentary wants are way, way down the priority list and the best thing we can do for them is give them a happy home. When we are all 5 together, I feel like my family is complete. Yes, sure, I sort of wish I'd met my current partner before, but I doubt I'd appreciate what I have now as much as I do. Maybe that's fine to not know just how good you have it to avoid the pain. But I did live through the pain and I appreciate the hell out of what I have now. 

I never ever ever wanted to marry a man with minor children. I still think that was a good decision. 

One does not have to allow adult skilds in your home. A decent DH will not force you to accept the unacceptable. 

I refused to be stepmom to younger children so Zi ended up marrying someone with kids in their 30's.  Believe me, Adult Steps may not be around as much but can be Hell on your marriage!!! I NEVER dreamed!!!! Still after 3 years seems so crazy the control they have...

Nobody warned you, and you should have been warned. I am sorry that you were not warned. The idea that all family strutures are the same is a total lie. They are not all the same. Some are more stressful than others, as you have discovered.

I did have a nuclear family for 12 years with a man who was emotionally a teenager. It was miserable and I was the one who held it together despite physical and mental abuse.  I'm glad we're divorced because I would be a shell of the woman I am today had I stayed for another decade of abuse. My kids have suffered and have issues from seeing their parents in an abusive relationship for most of their young lives.  I love my kids and wish there was a way I could have had them without ever meeting their insane abusive father.  

I do fantasize that I could go back in time and meet the perfect childless man and build a life and our own little family together. I was a bit jealous today listening to my co worker talk about his family vacation oversees with his wife of 30 years, their two bio children and an adopted daughter.  Then he had to show pictures of their perfect family and how much they love each other.  Yeah I would love if my life had turned out like that and had a supportive spouse and OUR children all tight knit. 

Having an extremely dysfunctional childhood with alcoholics and family lies I had no blueprint of what a healthy relationship looked like so married a rageaholic abusive abandoner the first time and a manipulative lying backstabbing abandoner the second.  Guess I was overly optimistic and went for it again with DH #3, we're doing good for the most part yet the drama from both of our pasts creates issues in our present. My kids have needs, I have to deal with two assanine exes. He has two son's one who is particuraly an @ss, then there's the ex who's been on DH's dole for 13 years now. It sucks somedays and makes me wonder, "Is 6 inches really worth it?!"