Am I Wrong?????
My oldest sd(11) has been telling my bc what the bm says about me. DH and I have agreed that she has to come up with an explaination of why she thinks it is so important to torment my bc with that info. before she is allowed to communicate with my bc and if she says things that bm says about me to my bc again, then she has to go and live with bm. My dh has league bowling tonight and I was thinking about taking my bd to bowl (my two youngest have plans), dh asked what about sk's I told him that youngest sd could bowl with me and bd but oldest could not because she keeps talking crap to my bc and it is causing problems. Is this wrong of me to be that way??? Am I taking this too far???? BM has already accused me of abuse last year (unsubstantiated). If sd is going to cause problems why should I do fun things with her, I don't feel like she should be rewarded for her behavior. She owes us an explanation and I will not be satisfied until I get one, she is there for dh benefit not mine and if she wants to try to help bm destroy dh's and my relationship then I want nothing to do with the trouble maker!!!!
No
you are not wrong for worrying about your own childs well being.Ther is no need for sd to be talking to your child about what her bm says.Your dh is in the wrong for not dealing with it.I would keep them apart and not allow them to talk in private and your dh should be calling bm up and telling her that if she doesnt stop then you are going to lay charges against her for harrasment.She is not doing it directly to you she is going through her own daughter and that is pretty sad.If she goes bowling then she has to hang out with your dh.
No I don't think you are
No I don't think you are wrong. She is not your child, you don't have to take her any where you go your not her parent. You take her because you want to. I don't blame you for being upset with her for that she is putting your child in the middle of her mother's jealousness.... Have you talked to her dad about it? What does he say? I know how you are feeling trust me i have a 6sd and her father thinks i should put up were her mother leaves off but in reality im not her mother and i dont want to be.... she has one and its not me....
DH drills her everytime she
DH drills her everytime she comes to our home. He won't fight with bm, and bm is the major problem. But I think sd (11) is old enough to understand what not to say especially if she has been told over 5 months and dh tells her everytime she comes. I can understand why dh doesn't argue with bm, it is a major waste of time, she is truly psycho. But I think if sd cant follow the rules then she doesn't get the fun times.
"Love is strong yet delicate. It can be broken. To truly love is to understand this. To be in love is to respect this."
I completely agree
she should know better by now. If she is acting up and this could be a relationship breaker for you and your H it may be time to keep some distance.
Ask DH
Ask DH why it is SD can't go bowling with him or hang out with him. Why is Dh asking you to do what he should be doing. Your taking the time out to spend time with you BC he should do the same. I know he is on a league, but it doesn't mean she can't hang out with him. You need time away from the stress and time to spend with BC. It's not fare that we as SM are left to take care of all the kids. We need are time to. Make it about one on one time to Dh instead of not wanting to take SC.