All alone
Don't where to start...saw this site a couple of years ago, but I got sucked back in to the ex-fiance. Will try to make this as short as possible, but I also need to vent. Its complicated.
I'm 43 divorced, male. Never cheated or abused. Ex-wife cheated on me with my best friend and her boss. I recently tried to reconcile with the ex-fiance. Recently learned she did the same. Both relationships about 10 years.
I spent years trying to develop a deeper relationship with my daughter only to be obfuscated by the ex-wife. When I met ex-fiance...things were great. She has one daughter and tried to raise her as my own. But different values, direction, etc ...was never able to establish that relationship because I was the bad guy. Her mom spoiled her thanks to daddy's money...free house, free everything...never worked a day in her life. That was the big difference between us. Never understood the pressures I was going through and yet expected me to be the dad her daughter never had. Resentment grew...I tried to correct it all...it was futile. After the last attempt at reconciliation, she just never tried. Yet step-daughter confided in me and told me about her mom's angry blowups. Then it got ugly and her mom broke it off...found out she was seeing another guy.
My bio-d got lost in the mix. I now feel horrible trying to save such a relationship where we could all be together. There's more to this story, but that's enough for now. Too much grief.
han
Sometimes its overwhelming
Sometimes its overwhelming but all you have to do for now is keep muddling through until you see some light. Obviously you're a not a loner and need companionship to feel fully rounded out so quitting isn't an option. Fortunately you're becoming of an age where the women you can meet shouldn't have children in the home - or you avoid them if they do.
You know the standard places to meet women but one that most men overlook is church. Although you can meet some fanatics there they often they have single clubs which can help a lot. Me? I'd pick one of the largest, probably non-denominational, church's in your area and see what's happening. You may or may not have to be a member but attendance at Sunday services should be something you can quietly opt out of if you wish.
As long as we get up in the
As long as we get up in the morning, we can work to change things. Let the woman go....she cheated, she will do it again....NOT worth your time, or your energy.
As the above poster stated, focus on your daughter. If only a phone message, a call each week, a dinner invitation. Try, try, and try again.
I'm sorry... I know that some bio moms make the bio dad out to be the wallet only.. Let the past go.
Thanks everybody for your
Thanks everybody for your comments...they really help. Didn't know how bad it was until I found this site and others going through similar things. I do alot of praying....and yes, trying to find my balls again. I think I dropped them somewhere, but I'll find them again
Thanks again...I do have to
Thanks again...I do have to focus on me and learning why this has now happened twice instead of waiting for a woman of good character.
My balls are there (I checked)...but I am taking time to let go...despite that I knew the risks in trying to get back, it still hurts and all those images pop in your head while I am working on myself now and she is out and about so soon after all the I love you's etc. Just sucks.
Gotta remember the conflict was always due to the skid and her extended family that got between us and was just complete madness. Asking me to be the father her daughter never had really was impossible when all she did was ask for more, she never disciplined and was never happy - yeah, her own childhood issues.
Got her blocked for good and no contact...moving on in healthy ways