Going for custody....maybe....
Every time my husband has the misfortune of being suckered into BMs home, he returns with new conviction to get his son out.
On the last excursion, he was notified by BM while carrying her wine glass, that the adult male who lives in the house was recently given adoption papers for a new baby. This man, while an excellent father from what I've seen and heard, has a young toddler plus his girlfriend's 4 year old and has no job.
The house is owned by the grandmother to this male and his brother- who is BM's ex-fiance. In addition to the grandmother, the mom, the male, the males girlfriend, his now 3 kids, there is also BM and SS. Packed house.
BM recently got a job, after not having one since last year (right around when support was awarded-ironically) but I feel that it will end soon because it's likely seasonal [who else works a retail position on Christmas Eve?].
In our state, Kindergarten isn't mandatory, and even though she originally said SS would be going to preschool this year- he wasn't enrolled. I fear the same will happen for Kindergarten.
SS also recently told me that when he went to the doctors he could be seen because he "lost his insurance" and BM has stated she did lose the public asisstance. My husband has been required by the state to carry insurance for SS since he got his job (state sent a letter to his job before he was past the 90 days).
My husband's worried that should he go and represent himself- he'll be turned down because "she's doing the best she can", instead of the court seeing the facts that we have a more stable home environment (both physically and financially), provide SS with education opportunities and carry his insurance. Do we really have a leg to stand on?
You know, it really depends
You know, it really depends on the judge who will hear your case. And what kind of mood he/she is in. You NEVER know how something will play out, but all you can do is what you think is best for the child. Don't blow up little things into big deals. Use "best interest of the child" a lot. He should not go in there and bitch about every little thing, but show actual concern, and have a plan of action written down. It is really sad that the moms are given the children so easily, but if the dad wants to go after more time or after shared/full residential custody, they have to show who will help for x,y, and z. All I can say is good luck, and pray that the judge is looking at the case with a clear head!
The best thing to do would be
The best thing to do would be to go in with facts and supporting evidence. Also in Ohio there is a such thing as a gaurdian-at-litem... (I think I spelled it right). I am sure your state has something similar. Basically they appoing one to the case, they do several home studies and make a suggestion to the court. It is expensive, but requesting one could be exactly what he needs to win this for his child.