Advice would be helpful
Quick rundown of situation DH and I have been together since February of last year. I knew he had a son with an ex no big deal for me. When we agreed to move in together BM decided that a week later would be a wonderful time to drop off said son and have virtually no contact with him for almost 6 months. She didn't even come to his birthday party. DH decided to take her to court for custody in December. Did so and now he is the primary residential custodian, and visitation was supposed to be every other week. Well because she had a funeral to go to for one day out the week she was supposed to get him she refused to have him at all that week and now the dates for visitation on the signed court agreement and the dates we have him are screwed up and she is refusing to go back to the dates on the paper unless DH drops the hair follicle drug test she is supposed to take and pay for. It says on the agreement that her visitation is "conditions upon her obtaining a hair follicle drug test at her expense and passing" and if she does not pass then all visitation will cease. She is also trying to convince DH that the papers are invalid because she didn't read them over before she signed. I am at my wits end with her and don't know how to proceed. I think DH should enforce the papers and let her get ticked off because things aren't going her way and let her hang herself with the fact that she obviously has a reason to be scared to take the test but I may be wrong on that. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you and hope everyone has a blessed day 
Id be going back to court. Is
Id be going back to court. Is she paying child support? How old is your ss?
No child support is paid by
No child support is paid by either BD or BM, ss is 2
It was just that one week she
It was just that one week she refused to take SS. CS was not ordered because it was agreed that because SS would spend equal time in the care of both biological parents then no CS would be expected. However, BM has not had a job since SS was about 4 months old. She has made no attempt to get a job. Her way of supporting her son is to ask her family for everything SS needs. Just since I have been living with DH she has moved 4 times. She has not only lived with but has left SS in the care of convicted drug dealers and thieves. She has admitted to them using drugs while she was there. But as to her using drugs she says, "It is no ones fucking business what she does while she does or does not have her son." Her excuse for not coming to the birthday is "She was busy." but she complains that her ex-friend and our current roommate brought her boyfriend to the party. BM was trying to get with roommates boyfriend and boyfriend wanted nothing to do with BM so BM is doing the "sour grapes" routine. She throws the fact that I helped DH plan the party in his face saying "I am nothing more than a glorified babysitter and have no place in their son's life. If she wanted her son to have a birthday party she would've planned it." But one of the few times she did get in contact while we had him for 6 months was to tell DH she want to plan the birthday party jointly. She never got in touch again about the party. We tried calling, texting, and talking to her in person about it. She ignored the calls and texts and changed the subject while talking in person. She got upset because I threw a ornament decoration party for our friends with kids while we had SS during our week to have him and did not invite her to it. She insisted on coming over for our Christmas with SS even though she had him Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. In the end she brought him over Christmas Eve for a few hours then when he got cranky because he wanted a nap she left him with us (no complaints) while we found out she went to a druggies house. She expects everyone else to take care of and support her and SS and then wants to be recognized in the fact that she is a "wonderful mom" and when someone get's the gumption to call her out on it then it is everybody elses fault.
I understand what you are
I understand what you are saying but honestly DH should be the SOLE custodial parent of SS. BM is going to end up fucking up SS something fierce. She has repeatedly told SS that "he better turn out gay" I have no problems with gay people. But let it be the person's choice don't tell a child what he better be. She has no routine for SS she will keep SS out until after midnight because she wants to ride around with her druggie friends.... We are working on potty training SS and every time we get him back from her he refuses to use the potty he will just pee in his pants. Really the fact that he has a son with someone else doesn't bug me. What get's to me the most is the way she treats SS and expects everyone to praise her for being a good mother when all she is is a vindictive bitch who is pissed off that she lost control over DH, is losing it over SS, and hates being told she is in the wrong when she is.