ADVICE PLEASE!
My boyfriend has 2 children one age 3, the other age 2. The 3 yr old isnt his but the 2 yr old is his. Their mother is a deadbeat, she drops the kids off everyday to his mothers house and leaves them over there for weeks. My boyfriend is stressed but he just won't give them back to their mother. His BM doesnt even make a effort to at least get HER child the one that isnt his ... its so annoying. We never have time because their at his house EVERYDAY and when she does come tp get them she takes the 3 yr old and neglects the 2yr old. I wish my boyfriend would open his mouth and aay something because this is not normal. Those kids NEED a mother, my boyfriend tries to but it will never work they need a MOTHER. This is where i come into play ... The BM pushes the kids off on him so he pushes them off on me, he just pops up at my house with them and I get so pissed because they need to be with their mother not atmy house. I'm only his GF not his wife ... I'm not even ready to have a child of my own so how can I be a mother to somebody elses? Please helpp I need adlvice
Break up with him and find a
Break up with him and find a guy with no kids.
It's always a sad story when
It's always a sad story when two people have a child that neither of them really want.
if you dont want kids, find a
if you dont want kids, find a man without them.
why on earth is he caring for a kid that isnt his? where is the father of the 3 year old?
I honestly dont know why,
I honestly dont know why, they got a DNA test. She knows whos the father, the 3 yr old doesnt even have his last name.
I honestly dont know why,
I honestly dont know why, they got a DNA test. She knows whos the father, the 3 yr old doesnt even have his last name.
You have the right to say no.
You have the right to say no. Sit him down and explain to him that he can't just drop the kids off at your place.
He says that he feels like I
He says that he feels like I dont accept them but thats not true. I feel like he's throwing the responsibility on me because he doesnt want to deal with it. I mean is it wrong to not want to not want to deal with his kids? Their around 24/7 and it gets aggravating.
Read all the posts on here
Read all the posts on here and decide if you are ready to deal with everything involved with being a SM when you have the opportunity to give it up and start a family of your own without a crazy BM. My advice is to decide sooner rather than later so the kids don't get too attached to you. They are pretty much babies so you won't be breaking hearts of children.
One thing I've learned from choosing men, is that you can't just choose for love, you have to find certain qualities that will ensure a happy, healthy, lasting marriage and in our case, a good father. Look at how he's parenting and taking on his role as a father. Is he everything you hoped he'd be as a father? Does he care for them always when BM drops them off and know how to take care of them? Is he being a man about it and stepping up? You want a real man that takes care of his shit you know?
That's why I chose DH, even though he has crazy BM. Guys like my DH don't come by every day and I have 9 more years of BM.
Remember, even though BM isn't present so much now, she could be one day and she could be one crazy BM. She sounds like she has issues!
Good luck!
Considering the very
Considering the very disfunctional situation and the demonstrated parental ineptitude of your BF and his XW I think you need to move on.
There are plenty of good men out there without this type of toxic baggage. When you are ready for children of your own do you really want them to be sired by this proven inept parent?
Take care of yourself.
have you considered making a
have you considered making a pros and cons list? I hate to assume but I'm guessing you are young. When we are young we tend to rely on our emotions to guide us. and there's nothing wrong with that. But clearly you see there's a potential for long term emotional torment here. You CAN NOT fix this problem. It's not yours to fix. It's hard when you love someone to leave them for your own good but do you see any way that you will be happy with the way things are in the long term? You can not have a happy relationship if you can not consider your own happiness to be very important. Good luck!