I have a BD with DW so if we did split I would remain somewhat in SDs life somewhat as I am her sister's dad and will always hold an interest in how she is doing. Without BD though, probably not as that might be too difficult to manage emotionally for all involved.
I began dating DW 7 years ago.

I would. My SS's are 6 and 8 and I have been raising them for 5 years. They are like my own.

Firstly - that would mean I would STILL have to deal with BM. No, nyet, nada, nothin' doin'!
DH and I have been together just over 3 years total, and our time with SD is sporadic at best, so I don't think it would faze her if I was out of the picture (she'd probably miss my dog more than me!).

On the other hand, I'm not sure about DH and my BD's (18 & 15). The 15 year old has hit that "it's all about me - the wonderful teenager who should be the center of everyone's universe" stage, which drives us all nuts, so I can see him not having much interest/contact with her.

My oldest though, is currently enrolled in a bachelor's program in a career very close to DH's, and he 'mentored' her through her first year, and wants to continue for the next three years. They have more common intersts than he does with my youngest as well.

and the skids are very attached to her. I would try for my daughters sake to remain somewhat involved, though not nearly to the level that I am now.

And DH and I have been together for 4 years.

"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean people aren't out to get me"

I would... She's 15 now and even though I am A LOTTTT older, I think she thinks of me as her older sister more than a mom. This has worked to my advantage because she confides in me. So I definitely would...

I've been in skids life for 5 years. SS13, I know this sounds teriible but I couldn't care less if I was to never see him again. SS11, maybe, he is a good kid but no real great connection, SS7, I would miss him the most, I have the closest bond with him than I do with the other 2. But if we were to split, NO i wouldn't see them again.

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

If she wanted to continue to talk with me, sure. I care about her alot, and I've known her since she was about 2 y.o. So, yeah, if she wanted to see me and have someone to talk to, I sure would.

I have no doubts about that part. But we both have acknowledged that when SD is an adult we will not continue to support her indefinitely if she demonstrates at all the capacity to live on her own that BM has, and all indicators point that way. (Keeping fingers crossed.)

All that being said, if something happens to DH I will give SD the choice to stay with me, and have no idea if BM will even entertain taking her anyway.

I told him he had better stick around b/c that would be an unbearably difficult road, but I feel very strongly about being her parent regardless of her mental health, just as I would my sons or BD 3.

"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?" ~Hamlet Act III scene I

BF and I have BD13 so she would still want contact with her baby brother. I think BM would have a fit about this but I would go to court if needed to get her time with her brother.

totally try to be there for SD5 as much as possible, and also try to keep a relationship between SD5 and BS1 (not DH's...)

I would try to buy her things all the time AND try to be there emotionally for her...

~You can see clearly only with your heart. What is truly important is invisible to the eyes~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's

DH and I have been married for 3 years, and I would absolutely keep in touch with SD's if something happened. I would jump in front of a speeding bus for them. I love them like my own, even if they annoy me sometimes, but what else are teenage girls good for

~ Formerly ToTheEdge. I have stepped down from the ledge.

I wouldn't stay for even a heartbeat. I've been here since she was 5 (before that I was merely the G*d Mom or ocassional sitter, she loved me then...) and now she's 16. 11 Years. In May it'll be 12 I think?

At any rate, heck no and once again HECK NO. I wouldn't stay. And may not BE staying. I can't hack it. Either I am that flawed or the situation is.

DH and I have been together for 2 years and Married for 5 months.
I would stay in the kids life because they have already had BM bail on them so many times.
My SS9 calls me Mom and has asked me on more than a couple occasions if I could be his real mommy and BM be his SM. I love those kids as if they were my own. I would never abandon them.
I am not to worried about this happening though DH and I have a strong relationship and were friends for 13 years before we decided to date. So I think we are good

100%.

~Happiness is defined by the smile on your face, not the frown on others.~

How fast Zippy and I would be packin him up and shippin him out!

DH and I have been together for 4 years, married for 2-we had Zippy 50/50 when we were dating (he was 13), then EOW for about 6 months and then BM could not (did not) want a big hairy teen around, packed him up and drove him over to our house as soon as the ring was on my finger-since then we have had Zippy 24/7 literally....

As you can tell Zippy and I are not particularly close-I feel rather benignly ambivalent towards Zippy16.5 personally and I am sure it is likewise. Zippy would be with relatives if DH was not in the picture and of course with his beloved Daddykins if DH and I split up.

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

100%. I might even ask FH if I can have custody..I'm with him more than FH. I drop him off at school 2 days a week, I pick him up from daycare everyday. I cook dinner, give him his baths..I am with him until his father gets home at 9 -9:30 pm. He is VERY attached to me and tells people I'm his mommy.

His BIO mom abandoned him with his dad when he as 1.5. Than he was with my FH's X from the age of 2-4. He is now 6in one month and with me. I could not abandon this child once again like the other "moms" in his life.

"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"

BM is impossible to deal with, she would never let me have access to that child, even if he begged, but then again, she loves to run the streets, so perhaps she would instantly become my fake best friend.. If she thought she could benefit in any way, she would surely try to kiss my a** to gain a new babysitter..

I don't think I would. It's a struggle now and I just don't think that it would be something I would want. I've been with Dh for 11 years. Ss is now 13. I seriously don't think that ss would miss me at all! He would probably be happy that now he just had to deal with his parents who let him get away with all kinds of bad behavior!

Dawn

together 2 years, been around skids 1 year. and....NOPE!

BM and I actaully had this conversation. As crazy as she is... she still considers me a "friend". She has no friends. I suppose I am the closest things she has. One day in conversation she said "I hope you know that if anything ever happens between you and FH, I will be sure that you still see SS". That had to have been the nicest thing she has ever said. NOW, if it would hold true... I am not sure. I hope so... I love him so much. I don't see FH and I ever splitting.... but never say never, right? I suppose I will just HOPE I never have to face this as a reality.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )

No. I don't think SD would miss me one bit. She would actually be happy not to have to "share" Daddy anymore with me. As for our son and new baby coming soon I'm sure he would schedule to have all the kids on the same weekend so they could still be a part of each others lives. I've been with H for 5 years- married almost 4.