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Thanks to reading alot of good advice

Zimka's picture

Submitted by Zimka on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 8:53pm

to others problems/issues I have discussed with BF3 some healthy rules for our relationship and having SS in our home.
1) BM is not welcome in our home. (neither of us want her here)

2) BM's other two children( niether are BF3's) are welcome with their brother SS This is important to BF3 as he has been the main male role model in the childrens life for the last 7 years), but not everytime ( which is BM's current rule) and when it fits in with what we are doing.

3) I will change my cell number and have barred her emails so if BM requires any thing for SS she will ask BF3 ( which she hates to do) and if BF can't do for what ever reason I am willing to because its for BF3 not BM

4) Instead of revolving our lives around any visit of SS that BM allows. SS will fit in to what ever we are doing.

5) Court is the only way we will be able to get regular visitation in place so its of to court we go.

Does this sound reasonable?

Comments

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 9:12pm

If you go to court and she violates the court ruling, she can be severely penalized. You shouldn't have to have contact with BM. BF3 should.

Zimka's picture

Submitted by Zimka on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 3:27pm

so we have along way till he will be able to state who he wants to be with. BM's 8 year old want to live with her BF1, but BF1 is not in a position yet but is working hard to get there.

aka's picture

Submitted by aka on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 8:58am

I really think setting boundaries is key. I learned the hard way so you are starting off really good here. After 3 years of email bashing and making my DH feel like the lowest dad in the universe we banned all email as well. She hated it but guess what we finally had some peace in our lives. After 4 years of trying to find my way in this hectic relationship and trying not to piss off the BM, I decided to make my own parenting plan with my H. We wrote down what each other expected in a document and both signed it. It was great.. we pull it out every now and then.

Zimka's picture

Submitted by Zimka on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 3:31pm

She constantly said he was a lousy partner or if he really loved her he would or wouldn't do something. BF3 can not talk to her with out getting worked up as BM always makes hime feel worthless. I hate the fall out when she trys to discuss something with BF3 as she is always in attack mode.