What should I do?????
Just a little history....... The BF3 and I started dating 13 days after the birth of SS15mths. BM has three children to three different fathers. BF1 has just re entered the scene and only has one monthly visits with all three children for about six hours. His daughter is 8. BF2 is not on the scene at all as it was a one night stand and daughter has two who is 31/2 calls BF1 dad cause her sister does. BF3 has been in the BM life as a friend since BM daughter8 was 18 months old the started dating and as soon as she found out she was pregnant again kicked him to the kerb...... BF3 and I meet before he started dating BM so I got to know BM as a friend (???) When it was very obvious that BM had just wanted another baby but not the father in her life. BF3 Has shyed away from the court system to rule about visitation but here in New Zealand it is mandatory to pay child support portional to your wage and single parents get goverment assistance to raise there kids. Currently our visitions is for three hours every sunday and all three of her kids must come. BF3 and I don't have any drama's with that how ever when ever it suits BM we are allowed the kids which has included over night assesses and whole days but when ever we ask for them she states it doesn't suit her.
My drama today is that she told me she was going to Austrailia for a week in September and has arranged BF1 to come stay at her house where she shares a house with a single mum and her 11d to look after her children. When I asked why we weren't asked she stated that it was unfair on the kids to lose her for the week and have to stay in a strange enviroment. They have slept here and come over at least once a week for the last 7 months and when we start spending time with the kids it was out her place so we know the routines....
What should I do..... go to court and make sure if nothing else we get ss15mths for the week ???
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go to court,
and get something set in stone, that way if she doesn't abide by the agreement, she can be in big legal trouble!
I don't think going to court over this particular situation is a good idea. I think going to court to get something set in stone regarding visitation in general is. Be sure to be specific about who will do the transportation, where the SS exchange will take place, and what time SS needs to be there (barring an emergency occurring). I suggest that the exchanges take place on neutral territory as opposed to either of your homes.
I know that this might not be a popular idea but I think BM's older kids should continue to come to your visitations with SS because BF3 has been the only father figure they have known for a long time, and they need stability. They've had a lot of men brought into and out of their lives through no fault of their own.
I so agree
we love having all three kids but we are constantly remind that we aren't their parents and that she is their only parent. We have been tossing up whether to see if we can get all three on the court assess documents. We have been to vist a lawyer and he said that ss was the only one we should worry about as the other two aren't our problem.