Let me know. I feel that I have no choice in the matter. BM will not take them and SD does not want to go with her. No matter how much I want a break, it just ain't happening. So I have resolved myself to getting little moments here and there. My daughter is away at college which says she is an ADULT now. Has not physically lived with us for 3 years other than visits home for a couple of weeks here and there. BM on the other hand acts as though HER kids are the adults. She behaves as though she has done her job as a mother and can now sit back and rest on her laurels. Of course that is not the case and it used to be downright FRUSTRATING to deal with. In fact, BM thinks that by visiting with her kids on a regular basis and being responsible for them means that she is "BABYSITTING" for DH and I. I get upset when she says this because technically it is not babysitting when they are your kids. But then that comment speaks volumes as well. It says to me that she really does not consider them HER kids, she sees them as mine.

I feel your pain and frustration and I wish I had some answers for dealing with DH, but sadly I don't. And that is from someone who has dealt with it for over 5 years. Good luck with finding a resolution and I'm sorry that I couldn't help.

People who get on HIGH Horses will find the fall to be painful. ~ME :->

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

Isn't this the other way around? Sounds more like your H and the BM are "pawning" the child off on you.

AAARRRGGGGHHH!

First of all, I completely agree with bewitched: they ARE pawning her off on you. And I don't know why BFs get so ancy about this subject, maybe its guilt. My boyfriend and I have my SD for for a half-week and then don't get her again for a week and a half after that. Thats the regular schedule. ONE TIME I said "I like these Wednesdays cuz it means we don't have SD for another week and a half" (she was being particularly bratty that time) and he hasn't let me live it down since (that was over a year ago). He always brings up that I said it in conjunction with something to the extent of: "Why do you have to be happy huh? You should be sad that she's leaving and miss her! Treat her like she's your own daughter and you're sad that you don't get to see her." Newsflash: she's NOT my daughter and excuse ME for enjoying the fact that I get to have my own life without her in-between.

Same issue here. BM never wants SD8...she gets her EOW and barely that. But in the mean time she is the mother of the year. I could puke! She blabs to her friends and family about her daughter is this and that. But in reality never wants her...it would really screw up her life style. But my DH takes care of skids when they have vacation from school. IT is his responsiblity to arrange for babysitters.........and IM NOT IT! Only if i decide to volunteer. Which I usually do not because i work. Right from the beggining I made this very clear.

When my husband and I were dating, we were never alone. 14 year old daughter was always along. Now, we're married, stepdaughter is 17 and we never see her. I will admit its much easier with her not around, but I wish she and I had been able to develop a closer relationship. Is there a positive way to look at this situation as a time when the two of you and get closer. Your husband will admire your efforts.

We have SS16 ALL the time (since he was 14-we got him full time as a wedding present from BM)-and like Principlist's BM -ours "plays" at being Mom when it suits her. We cannot ask her for anything extra as it won't happen. Thank goodness SS works partime and is 16 now so it is not really an issue-but it was and I was ticked off and resentful not to have breaks!

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!