Nope...at least not in my case. Don't get me wrong, my DH has always been a nice guy & went above & beyond to try to make his marriage to BM work for the sake of the son he thought was his...but her constant cheating made it impossible. But once that started he said he either drank a lot to get through the days or went running a lot, those were his coping mechanisms. He's an absolute angel to me, and I thank God she never got him to change who he is as a person. He never brought himself down to her level & cheated to get back at her and he didn't let her make him afraid to remarry or hate women. He saw the problem as hers and not his fault, which is 100% true. So I know for a fact he is much happier & treats me better than he ever did her. Part of that is because he was 21 when married to her, he never wanted to get married (she talked him into by telling him she was pregnant with his child) & the other part was the dynamics of their relationship...or lack thereof.

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

I feel that way too sometimes, H and ex were young and in love. Ive heard stories of the things that he has done for her, that he would not put any effort for me. Once he put in a new kitchen for her and she didnt even know it.
She was the one that wanted it to end, not him, and I heard stories of his devastation.

Another is that H and I did not have children together, due to medical reasons on my part. Well I've seen pictures of him, kissing her stomach, when he talks about his son and the birth, he lights up. I heard how he protected her and it was the BEST time for him

My first marriage was to the wrong person and I did not receive that affection with my ex. when I was pregnant but yeah I think BM got the best of him.

They had the party and I'm cleaning up the mess.

listen to all the wonderful things he did for her? I can't stand to even here her name (which I get to for the next 4 years while this president is in office) but there is no way I want to here all the GReat things he did for her to make her happy. yes I feel like I will never have my WHOLE husband to myself.

because I know he is a far better man with me than he ever was with her. After he left her, he grew a backbone and stopped being a doormat to her and her psycho family. He now knows how to stand up for himself and how to defend himself with her. She was really awful to him and cheated on him constantly and he just took the abuse......but now, he stands on his own 2 feet and expects to be treated well. So, we do well together, b/c I feel the same way. He's a wonderful person, too bad she never got to know him!

We are married 7 years now and the longer we are together the closer we seem to become. I had never really had a stable long term relationship before DH and did not get married til almost 40 so this is truly shocking to me, but wonderful.

In the first even 5 years there were things we had to work through, and say, and resolve, so that now even if they do come up again, we come to the same resolution. I do feel a little jealous when he lets something slip about when SD was born, because I didn't get married until too late to do all that (her birth control pills failed to work? so they got married, the oldest trick in the book, to me!), or when I saw their wedding photo (polaroid!) but there are many more tales of abuse and cruelty in their relationship.

Your h. and ex got divorced for a reason and maybe you should remind him of the facts of their relationship if it seems he is idealizing it in any way. Reality checks help with this!! These are the kind of things that come up early in a relationship but are eventually resolved, so don't feel it is just you. If your DH is like mine, he does want to be with someone, who loves him, and some fantasy that is far away and a beyotch loses appeal when you are right there, being good to him!

I do worry that one day we may split because I think SD is ungrateful and rude and no longer want to pay extra for her to abuse me and him and bash us publicly on the internet and to my family, but I just have to let that happen if it does. She is really the only thing we fight about now. Oh except for the sociopath BIL, that is another story!

But give it time, DH has become more affectionate over time and real trust takes time to build, for him to know how you really are, and vice versa. Take the chance for as long as you can, and give the benefit of the doubt if you possibly can. Good luck to you!!

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

just the sound of her name which is also the presidents wife name..Not only do I not like the president his wife has that horrible name also..No offense to anyone on here with that name..

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
Sir Winston Churchill..

because I think most of us have felt this way, at some time or another. 3 years ago, I was all about this. Watching BM get her way over everything, holding the skids over DH's head (like carrots over a starving rabbit). BM was first for everything, she was his wife, mother of his children, and she loved sittin' on that throne, and throwing it in my face. The reactions BM got out of DH would pain me some times. And the stories.....UGH, for the love of god, why, why is this woman so glorified (in my eyes anyways). It was almost like the skids and BM were celebrities. DH said he was just always worried about his kids, that is why he "kept watch" so close, and why it was the prime topic of disscussion. I started to pull away emotionally from him and the skids. I just could not deal with some low life redneck POS, getting so much attention , and all for being a giant bioutch!! When my DH started seeing that this was affecting our relationship, things gradually changed. He did not want to lose the one good thing he found, he said. When we got married, BM freaked. Now she was not "the only one", then a year later, we got pregnant with our son, and that really knocked her down a bunch of pegs! Her control was slipping (like sands through the hourglass) LOL. BM was no longer "queen bee", and the huge lack of attention she was getting from my DH was killing her. Things are sooooo different now. I thought, before, that BM had gotten the best from him, but now I know (BM even gave this one away), that was not true. BM went on and on about how he puts his "second" family first, and how he was not "there" for her, ( hard for DH to be when she was always cheating on him, or passed out drunk and stoned.....what did she expect???) and how I "get it all". The tides have turned. Now I see what was really there all along~ a big fat nothing. DH feels now, with me , that he can be the husband and father that he really is in his heart, because I'm deserving of it. So now, I no longer feel that way, about her getting his best......that was never even possible with the two of them. ~ Leave out all the rest~

Why do you think I go by Chel And the BM's name is almost the same, but now she has changed hers also, but it's something stupid. Fits her perfect. ~ Leave out all the rest~

to me that not all Michelles are horrible people..Its weird my ex fiance is my new hubbys name and my name is also the same as his first exwife..LoL..But me lovess you CHEL BELL..

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
Sir Winston Churchill..

In order for DH to marry BM her pill didn't work. Yes, that seems to be a common theme in most pscyho BMs. I have sometimes seen that she got the best of him like the 3 kids and all the first. But I keep telling myself that she squandered it all away by cheating on him and taking money from him and his family. DH has told me that he thought he loved her at the time but we met and that he really knows what love is and wishes sometimes we would have crossed paths instead.

DH is a really great guy. He worked 3 jobs at one time to let the Bioytch stay home with the kids. She would drop them off with anyone that would take them and then take off for a day or whenever she felt like coming back. BM used his family for money and what surprises me is that no one ever said a word to DH. How could you be broke and have no bills outside normal living expenses? I have heard stories of BM not wanting to do laundry so she would thru all her and the kids stuff away (no not give away) and buy all new stuff. BM was generous though she allowed DH to do his own laundry and didn't buy him anything.

When they were going thru the beginning of the separation she withdrawl the savings of 18k and never said a word to DH. DH was saving to pay cash for a SUV. Who knows what she did with the money. The women can blew thru money like water and have nothing to show for it.

Whatever she wanted to do she did it and had no problem spending all the money and eventually left the kids by themselves so she could go party.

My DH philosphy has always been is not to lie to him. I of course agree and I am totally shocked that BM didn't change is opinion on women as well. DH did go thru a phase I thank all of us go thru. Go out with women just to find a piece of ace...he told me that with me it was different and he knew he would never treat me that way. He tells me all the time how much he loves me and always thinks of me first.

So when sometimes when I get those feelings about them in past....I remember that we had a honeymoon in Hawaii and they didn't go anywhere. That usually makes me snap out of it.

Yours is such a similar story to mine (and others I'm sure). Only with our BM, it was "a doc. told me I'll never be able to get pregnant and have kids" BOO-HOO. Unfortunatly, DH bought it!! ~ Leave out all the rest~

DHs 1st marriage was to a woman he had been dating. Both were in the military and were being deployed and got married. Wife had a son, but they never had kids together. Marriage ended because wife slept with DHs best friend.

BM was actually DHs 2nd marriage. They should have never married. BM had a baby before SD. THe baby only survived a few hours. Within a few months BM was pregnant again. SD13 was born and things were pretty shaky. DH was planning to leave, but BM miraculously ended up preggers again. BM then threatened that if DH did not marry her, she would take the kids and he not see them. DH fell for that lame line and they went to the courthouse. DH worked to be the attentive husband and father. Did all of the cooking, cleaning and caring for the children during the course of the marriage. BM never appreciated it, she just used it as an opportunity to "whore" around. DH found out about the multiple affairs and that was the beginning of the end.

I came along and DH pursues me. I wanted nothing to do with him because of his history. I finally gave in and went on a date and knew on the first date that he and I would marry. We did nearly 2 years later. Fortunately for me that the previous marriages did not ruin him. I am treated like a Queen. DH felt that he loved me and was happy that I believed in him and his abilities inspite of his baggage. I was surprised with a nearly 2 karat flawless engagement ring. We had a fairy-tale cinderella wedding, that 8 years later is still raved about by family and friends. If I THINK I want something it is there and done. DH helps me with the household chores and sometimes does more than I. He felt that if he could do the things that he did for someone who didn't appreciate them, then surely he could do them for someone who does. We have been happily married 8 years now and are STILL in the honeymoon phase. We work as a team and that is a good thing.

I must say that if the kids were still with BM, things would still be good, but I'm sure strained as is with many other EOW families.

People who get on HIGH Horses will find the fall to be painful. ~ME :->

I think H's ex destroyed what hope and trust H had. They got married because she told him she was pregnant, now know for certain sd isn't even his. Then proceeded to make him miserable. It makes me so mad that people will do anything for a visa and greencard. I think he still feels like an idiot for being taken advantage of and that causes a lot of his anti-social behavior.