custody evaluator question
BM cheated repeated before BF found out and it ended their marriage. BF busted BM cheating because he found sexually explict photos she took of herself and sent to numerous men she met on poker playing sites and such and they sent her back photos and videos that were also sexual in nature. BM also wrote many emails to these men with very dirty stories in them - all somewhat violet and very sexual - rated XXX and I am not a prude. We have these emails and photos and videos. Due to all this cheating, BF had to have DNA tests done before baby was born to find out if he was the father.
My question is does BF present or even offer this info to the custody evaluator to show what kind of person BM is? Its not like her exploits were a secret. Several of her friends knew and said nothing to BF - claimed it was not there place but they did not condone the behavior.
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Maybe
Well depending on the state you are in cheating can actually be illegal, therefor you might want to bring it up. Also you might want to show the information to discredit her. However, judges appreciate keeping custody battles as civil as possible. Please note I did say as civil as possible. If you have a strong case without bring that up I would. If you have bring it up just briefly mention it, but make sure you make a point as to why you are bringing it up so that the judge doesn't think you are doing it just to embarrass her. You need to make sure you are always thinking of whats best for the child.
Use it all
I don't know what state you are in but in my state for a man to get custody the children have to be put at risk while they are with the mother. BM was evicted, homeless but judge still allowed her to keep 50 custody. Only if she was in jail or on crack could my H get full custody - the courts are STILL sexist even in 2008
Say it just like you told us...
He could say, "I'm not a prude and I don't know if it matters, but it was concerning to me, so I'm bringing it to your attention." Use it baby!
Id check with the attorney
In my state it does not matter who cheated, what they did in their personal time. It just matters how they treat the children--basically the BM is assumed right no matter the case. In fact, in my state, if you bring any of this up it makes YOU look badly. Ask the attorney, he/she will know what to do with it.