I don't know when we are going to Florida to see the skids yet, we can't even think about leaving till the past due support is payed up, the writ is cancelled (so DH will not be arrested when he hits the state), and we have $$ to spend on this venture. It may be a while, BUT...we were talking about how to carry out the visit. Now , we have already planned to see them at my MIL's house, and stay there w/ them...it would be a nice family get together, and my MIL thinks thats a good idea, and she can pick up/ drop off skids to BM, so we would stay on "neutral ground" and not have to go to BM's. We don't know if BM will give the skids, MIL, or us a hard time about it.....ok yeah...she will, but we don't know how bad, so we were thinking.....why even tell her we are there at all!!??? We could surprise the skids, and get to visit w/ them, and they can tell BM later when they go home. She'll still probably blow up about it, but at least we will get to see them first w/o any drama. Then if BM wants to complain about it later, she'll just look like the a** again. We don't want to get in "trouble" though with this idea, I don't know if she HAS to know that we are there or not.....and if so, we will not do that....we'll let her know and put up w/ the crap I guess, but going w/o having to communicate w/ her is great, and we don't want to disrupt it. My DH is on the fence about even going down there....the skids will be 18 soon enough, and then they can have their say on what to do.......but it will be a long wait if we have to do that! He needs to see his kids, but they can't come here for alot of reasons....to many to get into now, so we resined ourselves to going there, and seeing them some place neutral. Does BM need to know ahead of time? Or does it matter?