BF caught a glimpse into BM's nasty house
BF went to pick SS up tonight like he and BM had agreed for his one week this summer. When he pulled up, no one came out like usual. BF went over to BM's parents' house, and they said they didn't know why they weren't coming out. He went back to BM's house and knocked on the door. SS opened the door, and BF got to see the inside of the house for the first time since November 2005. He said that nothing's changed. He saw the "garbage pile", the area where the garbage can was which he described as a three foot wide, five foot tall pile of garbage bags stacked on top of each other. I could only imagine what it smells like in there with all that old garbage piled up. When BF picked up SS he sent me a message that SS REALLY needed to take a bath, he smelled horrible. The poor kid. The reason no one came out at first was because BM thought that he wasn't coming until tomorrow. Did you forget what day it was? Perhaps it's been so long since she's been in contact with the rest of civilization that her days are running together.
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My God!
I would call Social Services! That's a form of child abuse, living in filth! That poor child! I hope you BF got pictures with his cell phone!
~Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns~
I agree.
I wouldn't send him back into that. That's neglect.
________________________________________________________________
ANNE 8102 ♥ GEORGIA
RE:
He said that it seemed like SS was well trained in hiding the filth he lives in. He said that when SS opened the door, he cracked it just enough to slip out, then closed it behind him. All BF got was a glimpse at the garbage bags piled up. I wonder what the rest of the house looks like.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
I hear ya
BM has the smallest 3rd floor apartment (more like a box)in which she keeps 3 cats and 2 litter boxes which I really don't think they use. I always heard how bad it smelled in there from my H but never knew the extent of it until I stepped foot in there myself. The smell of ammonia was breath taking. I feel horrible for SD having to live there and BM wondering why she's sick all the time. She also comes to us smelling terrible. Like...old musky....underwear. There really is no way else I can describe it. Sometimes I just shrug it off because I know people have 'natural smells,' but the ammonia smell I know can be damaging. It's such ashame.
It's also funny when I clean our house and SD is here. She'll ask me who we're having over and I'll say, no one sweetie, I try to clean a little everyday. She's used to me cleaning now but it just made me think how often BM cleans her place. Yikes!
"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" ~ Milton Berle
Honestly!
What is so hard about keeping your home clean. Now I am not talking immaculate but give me a break. I hate it for your ss and he probably is good at hiding what he lives in. I bet he also does not have friends over there due to embarassment. Does he pick up after himself at your house? Our BM does not keep dirty house but she lets ss keep himself unkempt and sends him to a filth dump babysitter. You don't have to have money to be clean!
RE:
He does not have friends over. Even his extended family members aren't allowed inside that house. BM won't let anyone in because it's "too messy".
He does pick up after himself a little at our house, but not all the way. Like, he'll bring his dishes to the kitchen, but instead of sitting them in the sink, he'll set them on the counter - sometimes nowhere near the sink. BF thinks this is because he is used to the sink being so piled up that you can't put any dishes in it at BM's so he just puts them somewhere in the general area without thinking about it. My sink stays empty - I wash dishes every night.
He also has a problem with his dirty clothes. Every time he takes a bath, his dirty clothes are strewn out all over the floor of the bathroom. SS is a very messy bath taker, so the clothes are always soaking wet by the time he comes out. He also leaves his towels and washcloths lying around. There in a hamper right there in the bathroom...but he doesn't put his stuff in it. You'd think he'd get the hint when he went in there and all the stuff that he's put on the floor was in the hamper instead because I put it there. I attribute that to him just being a kid because I hear a lot of women complaining about this (his father does it as well, he sets his dirty clothes BESIDE the hamper on the floor instead of IN the hamper). I told BF that we need to teach SS the art of using a hamper.
TMI ALERT And I don't know why he would do this, maybe just forgetful, I don't know...but a LOT of times he won't flush the toilet. Like, a lot of times when I go into his bathroom to clean after he's spent the weekend with us it looks like he has gone #1 several (like a dozen) times without flushing. And we had to break him of the habit of throwing away his TP instead of flushing it. His bathroom didn't have a trashcan in it (because we never needed one in there) but I guess at BM's house they throw their TP away. Since he couldn't find a trashcan, he just stuffed it under the sink!! I found wads and wads of nasty USED TP under my sink! That ended very quickly!!
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
wheres all her CS going?
this kind of stuff makes me sick...that poor kid.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Why, to pay her bills my dear!
Don't you know how hard it is to stay at home all day every day and do nothing? She doesn't have the time to clean her house!
She actually says that. "I just can't find the time." WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?!
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
oh thats rite! silly me!
just like my BM who stays home w SD all day bc she only works PT, 2 of which are evening shifts, yet she cant find the time to teach her 3 yr old her abcs. sorry...mustve had a brain fart there.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
I could go off on this one
I made a note to self last week when we had to go to BM and skids house while they were all gone. I told myself "Self NEVER ever ever go back over there unless you want to be pissed the rest of the day."
Why I get pissed about their dirty house is beyond me. Between the 5 dogs that greet you as you're TRYING to get out of the vehicle, to the three dogs that live in the house, along with the two huge parrots in cages in the garage that stink to high heaven because no one cleans up after them, to the cat and mama chihuaha dog that were left in the garage with the parrots in 90 degree weather to fend for themselves for three days, to the baby bats, baby racoon and now a baby skunk that SS has taken home with him over the past week. Yes, you heard me right - a skunk. Oh, but it only sprayed once he got it home. Of course! Only when it gets scared. Let the damn thing go! This doesn't count the ducks, geese, rabbits and pigs outside and a metal building full of snakes, iguana's, fish and God knows what else that ws supposed to be a living quarters for SS and his GF.
Oops, now I'm getting myself worked up over something that's not even my problem.
I could go on and on. I'll stop here. I'm getting disgusted.
"OCD sucks"
Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to destroy.
--Henri de Lubac
baby BATS???
are u sure theyre not living at the playboy mansion??? or maybe your local zoo??? je-sus
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Zoo is right
"OCD sucks"
Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to destroy.
--Henri de Lubac
Use of the term "BM"
Hello, I hope I am not stepping on any toes but because I see this a lot in my line of work I thought I would point it out. The use of the term BM- or bio-mom or birth mother really is kind of insulting as it implies the mother is not the "real" mother just the mother by birth. Generally those terms are used exclusively for mothers who have put their children up for adoption as there is the clarification sometimes needed between birth mother and legal mother. Te same as if mom referred to your boyfriend as the bio dad...he is not bio dad or birth father, he's just Dad right?
I'm not trying to get on you, but when we allow ourselves to use needless derogatory terms privately then it's easier and easier to use them at other times as well, and if the term were used in front of Mom, it could undermine the co-parenting relationship and cause needless problems.
RE:
While I appreciate you trying to keep things smooth, I do not use "BM" as a derogatory term. I use it as an identifier for my step son's mother on this website only, and solely as replacement for her real name because I wouldn't post that here.
I have never, ever called this woman a foul name or derogatory term. I do not see calling her by an acronym as derogatory. Just like I call my step son SS, my boyfriend BF, my mother in law MIL...they're just abbreviations in lieu of these people's real names. It's mostly to maintain as much anonymity as possible.
I have seen some people use the abbreviation "BB" (bio-bitch) and call the mother "bowel movement" instead of "bio-mom". I do find that offensive. But in the way that I am using the abbreviations, I don't mean them as offensive.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
HMMM...
I agree with the post about the mother who abandoned the child. I am raiseing my SD7. I love her as my own. I also have a son that I adopted with my ex-hubby...my son knows who his BM is, he sees her now and then around town. I also have a daughter I gave birth to. I do not consider myself a step-mother...I consider my self a "bonus" mom. If my bonus daughter didn't have me in her life, she would still be living in the squalor her BM called a home...same with my son. I love all my kids no matter how they came in my life, and I consider myself lucky to be part of their world. If someone has the right to make another parent feel inferior, then I would guess it is the hard working Bonus (Step) parents!!! If I am paying for her daughter to enjoy the amenities that a child should have...then I feel that I will call her whatever I want either to her face or in a private post.
Gross!
Nasty!
Funny thing(or sad) is
Funny thing(or sad) is tonight we got SD back early as BM(co-parenting- is that what they are calling us dodging the hand gernades BM throws as we try to smile through the crud?, I am sorry but I think if most of these women were truely capable of co-parenting we wouldn't be here!- just my thought.) train back on track- was under observation in hospital- yet again( i think its fishy how back when she had to pay for the bills she rarely went but now is in the ER almost weekly for anything- ) choo choo- so I took SD over to BM house to pick up some of the stuff she had taken over there- with no one there SD wanted to have BS see her room(she has a private entrance- another issue as she is a teen) so BS helped her carry stuff from the doorway- he said he really doesn't like it cause it was smelly-(from garbage upstairs!) and there were bugs-yuck!
part of the reason her and DH never worked out- she doesn't keep anything clean, never has- I guess staying at home while both her kids are gone all day isn't long enough to pick up her but to do anything!
We have called DCFS- for some stupid reason it seems they act like any call from any ex is purely spiteful- they called her and set up a time days beforehand to do a home visit-UURRRGGHHH- alot of good that does!
There is no reason where logic does not exist
RE:
Yeah, when we called CPS on BM's house, they actually told BF in a letter that it was clear he was just a vindictive father going through a custody battle.
When BM called on us, of course they investigated us. The law in our state says that if there is an investigation with CPS, BOTH homes that the child resides in have to be investigated.
At least your SD's BM set up an appointment! My SS's BM refused to set up an appointment for months. It was always inconvenient for her. The investigator even told us that she knew exactly why BM was avoiding letting her investigate her home and said she would show up for a suprise visit. The first time she showed up, BM was home but wouldn't answer the door. The second time, BM answered the door but quickly shut it behind her and said she was just on her way out and she couldn't go in and look around. Because of budget cuts, CPS only has 60 days to investigate a case and close it. The lady actually had to file an extension because BM wouldn't let her in her house. She got the 30 day extension, but still couldn't get into BM's house. So she had to close the case.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
In our case BM is all for
In our case BM is all for dog and pony shows- her house was clean for the first time in forever- stayed that way about a day, but I just think it's ridiculous that they call for an appointment- just like the family therapy she was to do for SD- then turned around after first app. and scolded SD for talking about their lives, sorry I thought that was the purpose of it?
There is no reason where logic does not exist