BF's olive branch plan
We went to see The Incredible Hulk last weekend. SS loves going to the movies, but there is no theatre in BM's town. As we were leaving the movie, he asked me what I thought about him buying two tickets to The X Files to give to BM, along with a gas card and a gift card to a restaurant in town so that she could take SS to see the movie. They both chimed in that she loooooves The X Files. I told him that it was his money and he could do whatever he wanted with it. He said that something was bound to happen, like it always does, and BM will end up pissing him off in the meantime which will ruin his plan. I told him that if he's OK dealing with that as a possibility, then great, but it's up to him. He thinks I'm mad at him for wanting to send BM and SS to a movie. While I think it's unnecessary, I'm not mad. I just know that he's going to get burned, just like he always does by her. Or that she's going to use the opportunity to ask him to come along, or talk about how much they miss him "at home", how they need to be a family, she misses her "best friend", blah blah blah.
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oh dear
stay strong (i know weak comment from me but still)
keep your chin up let it all out here cos that could drive you insane
life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you )
This would go right up my
This would go right up my a** - he owes her nothing more then Child Support!!
I like olive branches.
I think too few are extended, especially considering how much good can come from them. It's a gamble, but it's his gamble.
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ANNE 8102 | GEORGIA
Nice gesture...
I think it's a nice idea.
I bought BM a gift card for the movies so her and the girls because she kept the girls for two Fridays in a row for DH.
I didn't feel comfortable "paying" her to watch her own children so I opted for the gift card instead so they could enjoy a movie while she was "babysitting". The gift card was only enough for just the tickets.
She never took the girls. I heard she took her boyfriend instead probably buying popcorn and snacks with what was left over after the ticket purchase. My intentions were for her to spend some of the extra parenting time doing something fun with the girls not to giver her a bonus so she could hang out with her worthless boyfriend. Whatever. Her choice.
Anyways, olive branches can be great. But don't be too surprised if it doesn't work out EXACTLY as the way you (or DH) planned it.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
I would have a hard time
with my FH buying a ticket for his ex and his kids so they could go to a movie together, she gets enough CS AND that money could be spent on us and them when they are over.
but everyone's tolerance is different, I do think that Cru is right on when she says it might show the ex that he still cares about her and 'his' family
the path to heaven is paved with good intentions.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
Olive branch plan
I agree with the plan. If BF has it in his heart to want to do something nice just for the sake of being nice, let him. In this respect DH should not allow BM's pissiness dictate who he is (obviously a kind generous man).
As gifts go...you have no control over what someone does with something you give them (even for a specific purpose) as a gift and once it's given, don't look back. The purpose of a gift is to give or do something nice. Not expect something or some action in return. It's not BF's fault if she's a turd!
The key with staying strong and getting the message across to little miss lonely heart is consistancy. Our BM said we wouldn't last 5 years and here we are. I still think she secretly thinks he will come back but she doesn't show up to the door in a towel anymore. LOL
I suggested that we invite BM to all kid related events at our home. ie: birthdays and such. But, DH REALLY didn't care for that idea thinking that it would just come around to bite us. Honestly I think after a few invitations and a few attendances some of the hostility would have left all of us by now.
Let me add - IF BF can
Let me add - IF BF can afford the expense of the tickets and gas.
I can't imagine us giving BM anything monetary as a gift. At one point BM had more income than we did and we were paying her $1,350 per month. Between her parents and other income along with us she was clearing $4,000 per month tax free. Sorry! Went off on my own problems! LOL
RE:
Thanks to everyone for your input. I really hope that I've gotten the point across to him that it doesn't bother me if he does this for BM, I just don't want to see him hurt again. I'm actually really interested to see the outcome.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*