So, up until tonight, most of the time I go home for lunch, I find BF with SD10 in OUR bedroom watching TV together. I have been very worried about SS12 because he is ALWAYS in his room by himself. I know, pre-pubecent child, normal behavior. When I talk to him though, he wants to spend time with his dad, but SD10 is always there hogging the show.

Tonight!!! Wow!!! Just SS12 and BF watching a movie.

He is trying so hard... I wonder if he thinks that I am asking to much though. He looks worn out and on edge. He had to cancel an appointment with our counselor today because of work but he wants to talk to her alone. We are suppose to have a session with all 3 of us soon.

Sometimes I do wonder, am I asking to much? Is this worth all the fuss? I no longer want to be treated as a door mat. Counselor says that it is easy to have a "best friend" of the kids because you can always revert to "parent" when you don't like what they say. They will not argue with you like an adult.

I am so tired of this tension all the time. Tired So tired....