We have four between the two of us. BM is no help when it comes to practices, she takes them to the games when they are with her as long as she has nothing else to do. This year the two skids and my BS are atleast on the same baseball team so they will have the same practice and game time. My DH constantly has the kids in some kind of sport (basketball, baseball, football, and arena football). Sometimes it would be nice to just take a year off of all of it. I agree they need the positive outlet, exercise, and team experiences but it is SO much work. We are always rushing around with dinner and homework. By the end of summer I am always worn out.

My ex is not in the picture, in fact he is in jail so he cant help out - not that he ever has...LOL!You ex has no clue what it takes to raise a child not financially or mentally! Some men will just never get it. My ex got put in jail and then bailed out and when he showed up to court, instead of giving him his bail back, they sent it to me. He is behind over $20K and I got $1K. He thinks did such a good thing to help me out know. I told him "this does not even dent the expenses I have had raising these two for the last 5 yrs on my own!" Deadbeat!

My DH's mother always tell me "I remember when DH was young and we were always at the ballpark" she tells me how much I will miss it too. But I dont buy it either! I think that once we are not dealing with all these activities that I will cook wonderful meals and have a spotless house!

Aaaahhh, until then the only escape is a nice glass of red wine.

You take the SKs to their practices but cannot watch the games cause BM doesn't want you there?

DH and I got sucked into the "sports" with his girls when they were 6 and 3. We had been living together about 6 months and I was still in the I can do this mode of steparenting. We took SD6 to TBall per BM's instruction that they were his kids too and we needed to help. She gave me dirty looks, it was cold and rainy,SD was tired after being in school all day and then at latchkey. She sucked at TBall and wanted to quit- we did not want to lose the money we had paid for uniform, team pics, equipment, fees, etc. After a few games she refused to get out of the car for BM and we began recieving phone calls from BM to "straighten her out". Same story as the years went by with both SD's who tried horsebackriding, dance, gymnastics,soccer,cheerleading,etc. Neither of them would stick to any of it, since BM insisted we take them we did but found neither of them liked what they were doing and didn't put forth any effort. Dance costumes were dropped off on visitation weekends for me to attach straps, hem and I never recieved a thank you from BM. As we sat in the rain at ball games,tried not to fall asleep during dance recitals I began to realize that BM enjoyed the skids participation because she is very social and it made her self esteem grow to hang out with the other parents. Needless to say both girls are grown, SD16 dropped out of competitive cheer even though she was good enough to get a scholarship to college. DH added up all of the extra money he paid BM for these activities and it is thousands. Did the kids gain anything from it? I think it would have served them better to go to Sylvan Learning Center for tutoring. The activities kept them from doing homework and getting to bed at a reasonable time.At least until they got their grades up. BM always insisted that the skids had to be involved or they would get into trouble.LOL. Both got in sooo much trouble and my BD was at home doing her homework, making good grades and going to ballet which I paid for myself and let her go on my terms to be sure she still had a grounded family life.

I don't hear you complain much. You mostly use your experience and shed wisdom and support. I'm glad you are letting yourself express how you feel frustrated sometimes. On other days, I know you handle it differently. You are absolutely entitled to feel the way you do. Rage when you need, drink wine when you must, cuss, scream, and be beautiful, because you are. Don't forget it.

I have learned that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
–Henry David Thoreau

Same old story... we let ourselves get sucked into trying to be everything to everyone, then we get burned out from overuse and pissed off from lack of appreciation. You probably know what I think. If you take them to the practices, then you've earned the right to be at the games. Screw BM. She needs to understand that mothers and chauffeurs have very similar job descriptions. If she's not willing to put in the time, then she doesn't deserve the glory. If you want to go to the games, then go. If she doesn't like it, then SHE can assume total responsibility for their participation. You're stretched too thin, CG. Time for some other family members to step up. I don't know, maybe the PARENTS.

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

I hear ya. At times I really feel like the "Go-Go" girl that BM labled me several years ago when DH asked HER to do something for a change.

I think if everyone actually acknowledged and appreciated all we do for them, it would be better yes?

So how about this instead...

I appreciate all you do for us CG...and for your family...and the sacrifices you made for your BS that his BF will never know or understand.

I think you are really really....

SWELL.

Peace, love, and red wine