But for whatever reason, the powers that be have chosen to allow anon posts. I don't understand why myself. You can be a registered member and still maintain your anonymity and privacy. I personally would rather there be no anon posters. It doesn't matter if you register with your real name or make something up, it's still nice to have some identity to which we can attribute comments. It would be nice to be able to weed out the good-intentioned from the shit-stirrers. It would be even nicer to weed out those who are not actually stepparents or acting in the capacity of stepparent.

~ Anne ~

"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook

I have recommended that anon posters be removed as well. But again, for whatever reason they are still here. Frankly I refuse to pay attention to anyone who doesnt want to register. They must be hiding something, therefore their opinions are worthless to me. The way I see this site is it has become a place of friendship. I open myself up to my friends and dont hide behind the word anonymous. It has created some issues on this site in the past and caused some people leave, and return, and leave again. I was one. So I say disregard those people until the time comes that they are no longer allowed to post.

"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."

I am not a parent (through no design of my own). I am not an active step parent. I came to this site several months ago to gain insight and understanding regarding my husband's situation with his children. The information garnished here has been invaluable. I have learned what to do and what not to do. My husband can identify with the situation of others on this forum.

I would hate to think that I am not welcomed here, considering a great many blogs deal with situations pertaining to the posters' spouse. It is this area I try to limit my responses, because I do think that I have information that I can share with others.

I love Step Talk and read it faithfully every day. I would hate to think that due to circumstances out of my control, I do not belong here. In my situation, the BM and I have civil, albeit limited discussions, and I am cautiously optimistic. I have hope that someday, armed with the information I have received here, it may make a difference for my husband and his children.

You have just as much rights here as the rest of us.... this was directed at those people who do not want to register and get a screen name. Your advice here is valuable.

As for the anaon poster who made the comment above about this being an internet site and not a place for "friends".... you are so sadly mistaken. Because I tell you this... I would go to bat for many of these women and men here. It may begin as a site for discussion. But several of us have touched each other's hearts, rallying together when my daughter was at danger, supported each other through marriages, divorces, child births, break downs.... and SOOOOOO much more. We have watched each other grow as human beings and witnessed changes that each of our families may have missed. We have confided in each other when we knew our "physical" friends would NEVER understand. So, please do not come on this site, unverified and try to say that we are not a group of friends here.... well, maybe you are right.... we are a family here.

And thank you zenmom! dont beat yourself up too hard *wink wink*

"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."

like 5 minutes or less to register? That's what I remember. Besides, when you are anon, it doesn't get posted right away...the first and only time I posted anon, it took 24 hours for it to post, so I decided to just register. I am so glad I did. I, too, read this website everyday and even though I'm not a SM, I'm a single BM and I like it that way, and my ex has a gf. Why would I want to bash either my ex, or the gf/SM? I've never had any reason to dislike my ex's gf, I don't even know her! I've met her a handful of times and she LOVES my kids, so why ruin that?

Okay, I need to calm down. I don't like to bash BM's, but when they act so horribly and treat their kids so poorly, it really gets my blood pressure up.

MamaJenn24

Take a second and register. Oh, and Anne Summers... we havent formally met yet.... nice to meet you and have your back on a subject that many of us old timers have been juggling for quite some time!!!!!

"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."

even though I'm not a BM or SM. I'm seeing someone with a child and I know I shouldn't be posting on this website too much. I'm glad I found this website though. I really don't know my BF's STBX, I just know the stories that he told me. However I'm not going to pass judgment on her. I want to thank everyone for giving me that advice on my first post. I don't expect her to accept or respect me either (see my second post)I'm grateful for this site and if I offend any one you can send me a pm. I'm not going to post too much, but I would like to read your stories. I respect you guys very much.
It would be nice for non members to register. If there's something you don't agree with, you can send a pm. I know some people here don't like the "high school drama" then register so you don't have to be called out on your post. I think that would reduce the "drama".

"boss" of us around here (except Dawn). I hate excluding anyone from posting, it almost seems like the MEAN girl(s) syndrome in high school to exclude people. This isn't a club with a president.

Let's get back to discussing issues.

I just looked at some posts and then found this blown out mess. Where does anyone say we don't want anonymous posters? Where does it say you must register or we won't answer and acknowledge your problems?? Where does it say you have to be an SM a BM or a skid to chat and give advice?? Show me the bolg that states this!!

This is ridiculous, I answer anyone who has genuine concerns and heaps of them are anons and so do most of us "registered users", just look at the blog I can't stand my Stepdaughter..there are loads!! I don't on the other hand, appreciate nasty personal attacks on anyone who has come here for advice and it's written by an anonymous poster. Although you are always anonymous anyway when you sign up because no one knows the who the hell "Jumpinfishinarizona" is anyway, they do it anon because what they have to say is so rude and inappropriate that if you had a screen name no one would ever want to help you again because you have nothing nice to say.

The original post said do you think?? And do you feel? Not it should be!! I know who needs to grow up here and it's not someone making a passing question about whether we think anon posters should be allowed...I think Anne Summers was saying she doesn't reply to anon posters who are rude and judgemental. There are not many sites you can post anon on without signing up, maybe for this very reason!

Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*

Well said Catch 22.

I have to pipe up that I posted anonymously in the past. I just checked out the site for the first time after registering for another site that seemed very judgmental to me. I didn't want to take even the few minutes it takes to register if I felt attacked like I had on the other site. Once I realized that this site was different, I didn't mind registering. I tend to ignore stupid/judgmental/inflammatory comments anyway, so the whole anon thing doesn't bother me too much. I have even begun ignoring certain blogs because I feel that some of them are complaining without seeking or taking any of the advice that it offered, so it isn't just some anons that get annoying to me.
I do think it is nice to have a name and some basic info on the people I am communicating with or reading about, just to keep things straight. But, the problem w/ anons is that you never know if you have already heard the person's story or not. Gets confusing to me, so I tend to ignore stuff posted by anon.

Maybe if the anons that want to post more regularly would put some type of username in the body of their comments it would be easier for everyone to know that it wasn't a BM coming here to stir up the pot with a step-mom, etc.

ESPECIALLY the parts about a lot of the ladies on this site forming a click and not telling one another the truth or what they need to hear because they don't want to hurt one another's feelings. Then when anyone else tells them like it is this big click bans together and attacks the poor new person, or person whos not in their little click and who did nothing more than tell it like it is.

A lot of this same click members admit to posting anonymously.

I don't get what the big deal is, you can post anonymously, you can have numerous different accts with different names, or whatever. This site IS anonymous because most of us are posting with a screen name and not our real names and the ones that do want to exchange personal information do!

My goodness things certainly have been interesting here lately. I don't post too much just when I am stressed out and need someone to tell my story too who isn't going to look at me poorly. Things I can't tell my close friends or family because well they don't get it. I know that people get burned when they use a screen name and register and for some reason BM's find their postings. Things that someone could make me feel horrible about saying could be found. I don't think that the question of registering is an issue. People don't register for many reasons, as long as they aren't being disrespectful and rude in their comments then who cares. Many people who post who aren't members take the time to type a name into the poster's box instead of simply leaving it anonymous. Often times I don't realize that I have not logged into the site and post comments. And it isn't just anonymous posters and non-members who are giving judgemental points of views and leaving upsetting comments. I can't say that too many of you have ever left me much advice, mostly I read other blogs and comments and get my advice from there. This is a place for people to vent in regards to step parenting so maybe things that aren't related to step parenting should be sent to people through personal messages. I mean I think some of you are being overly harsh on people who haven't registered and maybe regardless of who is posting people should ignore the rude comments and harsh critism that sometimes finds its way onto this site. Someone will also try to make you feel worse than you already do, the best thing to do is ignore it and move on.

We're all anonymous, except those of us who use our real names as our screen names. (Yes, my name really is Anne.) I should rephrase my gripe, because it's not really an issue about anonymous posters, it's really a gripe about unregistered posters. The reason I have a problem with this is because on more than one occasion, I have been personally attacked by a member posing as an unregistered anonymous guest. My fault, because I let this person into my personal life and trusted this person enough to give this person access to the "real" me. Okay, my knees got skinned, but the lesson was learned. I've asked that my account be closed and I'm sure it will be soon, once Admin gets around to my request. I will probably continue lurking here from time to time and maybe someday, after all the hoopla dies down, I will register again. I'm excited to hear that the Admin of this site is interested in someday putting in some new features to let individuals have more say and maybe moderate their own personal blogs. That may be the answer to everything. I dunno. The only real way I've found to protect myself, sadly, is to remove Anne 8102 from the playing field.