I am feeling relieved, knowing that finally we have given all the information to the courts and it will be in the hands of the judge. I know there are no guarantees, but right now I feel we are really doing all that we can. I sat with our attorney for two hours on Tuesday and gave much input to get this petition to read just so.

I've been distracted by another issue lately, one just as important. I wont go into detail, but my mom started seeing a man that could have easily torn the family apart. She ended it today, but I only feel a little better. I hurt for her because I know how badly she wanted it to work. She hasn't even dated since she and my dad split 5 yrs ago and I believe she deserves to be happy more than anyone I know. This just wasn't it.

We have filed a petiton to change temp orders and the hearing is set for Tuesday morning. Now I am relieved, but freaking on what if's , like what if our attorney didn't get the info to BM's attorney, or what if her attny can't reach her in time to notify of the hearing? I know this is silly, I just want so bad for everything to go right. I have been checking her myspace to see if I can tell when she learns of the content of the petition we filed. In it our attorney has pointed out how when BM puts pictures of SD on the front of her myspace next to signs that say "f**ken Sexy" it borders child pornography because it looks like she is refering to SD. I kind of expect to see the sign removed when she reads the petiton, but who knows.

Everything is in the petition and attached as exhibits. The judge will see the police reports for her DWI when she totaled her car, the Assualt bodily injury when she went to the girl's appt and banged on her door until she let her in and then BM pepper sprayed her, the sentancing info where BM was found guilty of both charges, the pics of SD BM put on her myspace with the f**ken sexy sign, the pics of BM she posted of herself nearly nude, and the one she is clothed, barely, but she is trying to look sexy as she takes the pic of herself in the mirror and in the background we can see 3 yr old SD playing on the floor. then to top it off the judge will be able to read BM's blog where she posted that she is "sick of jealous bi**hes, always hatin because you are fat, ugly..." BM writes, "I will always get my way and my man, whichever one I am talking about at this point in time"
What do you all think?? I am so proud, I feel like this has been my destiny, to finally have some papers that really paint a true picture of how BM really is, and it's all fact and undeniable. Best of all, DH is 100% with me. he wants this as bad or more than me, and I have read on this site before, that is as rare for others as it has been for me most of the time.

So here we go, it's all set and how it should be, there's just one thing before the hearing I could use some opinions on.

BM's g-ma is supposed to get SD from us Monday morning. I am so afraid for SD because I am fairly certain at this point that BM has narcissitic personality disorder and I know that her reaction to the petition will be BAD. I know BM lives in La La land and believes she will never loose primary custody of SD because she is "the mother", but now that all the pieces are together, it paints a picture of her, and it is not good. I am afaraid it is going to hit BM for the very first time that she could lose, and I don't know what she will do.

DH and I were thinking we would get the hysterical phone call from BM as soon as she finds out about the petition, but we thought it would have been Thursday, Friday or today. Nothing so far.

I told DH that I feel like we are contradicting ourselves if we allow SD to return to BM's care, when our position in the petition is that SD is not safe with her. The reason we went back to the possession sched in temp orders in august was because BM moved out of her abusive mom's house and our attny convinced us that we had no good reason to keep SD from her as she was not the one that initiated the violence and it wasn't against SD. But that was before we knew about Bm's criminal record and that she continues to drive without a license and without the breath test in her car that was ordered after her DWI, and also before she blatantly ignored the temp orders that SD cannot go over to her mom's house.

I believe we have very good reasons to take SD and us all go stay over at my mom's until the hearing on Tuesday. I know we want to be able to say that we followed the orders to a T, but I don't think it justifies putting SD in danger. Even if BM does not flip and do something stupid when she hears what is in the petition, I am afraid of what happens if we let BM have her back and then she judge sees things our way and orders SD into our care and only grants BM supervised visitation. I am afraid she will take SD and run. Or what if she decides to hurt herself, or SD? BM has threatened suicide before. It makes me sick what SD will hear and see if she is with BM after things don't go as BM wants.

SD asks me once at least every three hours if she can just stay with me. She says, "I don't want mommy come pick me up."

What do you all think?? If you were the judge, would you see that DH was trying to protect SD from the terrible things he just learned BM is capable of, or would you punish him for disobeying the orders my keeping Sd from BM for one day? :?