Addendum and Modification Agreement
We just got a fax from our lawyer with BM's response to our draft modification agreement. I WANT TO CRY. I really do. SHe is such a despicable human being. She doesn't agree to alternate weeks during summer, she doesn't agree to any transportation, she wants us to return the children to her on Sundays because we dropped them off late to school twice in the last 4 years...WE CANNOT WIN with this animal. We have a meeting with our lawyer today at 2 and I don't think I can go...it's too much I am so drained and hurt and upset. Thanks for reading to my whinings.
Comments
Waiting to be slapped in the face ourselves.
Lovers do not finally meet somewhere, they were with each other all along.
Our lawyer just informed dh that meditation with the birthbiotch has been set for next month. We already know she is NOT going to agree to any modifications that dh is seeking so it is going to be a big waste of time. Then comes court to let yet another judge decide our lives for us. It really does hurt and drain us as the new wives and stepmothers, I personally have resigned myself to the "this is my life as long as I chose to stay " motto. Unfortunatly dh and I have another 12 years of dealing with his controlling, manipulating ex loon ...oh yea
Been there, done that, too.
It just sucks, it really does, that nothing can be pleasant. The hoops that have to be jumped through. The lawyers we have to pay, as if there's any lawyer money left over after you pay the CS. Sigh. The last time we went to court, I was like seventeen months pregnant and when we tried to explain that we have two other children to feed, along with Their Royal Highnesses, she actually told me, "Well, I'm sorry, but your children don't matter." My children don't matter. Yeah. (We were making the payments just fine, but BM wanted to double the amount when she found out I was expecting. It wasn't that we were having babies we couldn't afford.) So I said to the judge, "Well, lady, put him in cuffs and take him to jail, because we can't give you what we don't have and $800/mo is all we've got to spare." We actually won that round, because BM was asking for almost $1400/mo and we ended up paying just the state guidelines amount. But on the way home from the courthouse, I started having contractions and ended up spending several hours in L&D trying to get them stopped. They need to take the human (judge) factor out of it and let it be equal based on some mystic formula that is fair to everyone.
~ Anne ~
Join the Campaign to Save Madison!
http://www.geocities.com/campaign4madison/C4M.html
Same here...
Who really is to say when we should get to see our own children. It should start off at 50/50 and then negotiations start. Not this every other weekend crap that this court system has become accustomed to. So DH goes from seeing his kids every day to 4 or 5 days a month. I don't understand why DHs have to fight this continous battle of seeing their own kids. I mean the judges hand over this "power" card to the BMs and it is all down hill from there. Then we get to kiss their high and mighty butts to get extra time. Grrrrrr.
Don't get me started on lawyer fees, can I buy you another Mercedes Benz!?! Maybe a Caribbean Cruise?
Sometimes we win.
OK, so I'm still bouncing around over the one big win we actually had in court. BM was charging us inflated prices for daycare, and didn't even have daycare at all. So we took her to court over it. She ignored discovery and ignored discovery and finally just would not show something as simple as a receipt from daycare. She ended up losing that time.
Now she is flipping out and we are just doing back flips because for once the courts were fair to a dad.
Incidently, we won back just enough money to pay of the lawyer.
// Susanna
"One breath at a time is an acceptable plan."
Ani DiFranco
Did the court sanction her
For not complying to discovery. We had the same thing happen to us. BM out and out lied on the discovery and kept avoiding it. She missed 3 court orded deadlines. We are still awaiting the decision from the court.
we went to meet with our lawyerson Tuesday...
it was so heartbreaking. I have known my fiance for a long time and on tuesday was the first time that i saw him have a break down in the lawyer's office. He couldn't talk and tears were jut pouring. I wanted to cry too. Our lawyer said that all will depend on the judge...who it is, what mood is he/she on that day, and also on all the manipulations of the BM. It is amazing the emotional damagage she is causing on him and me. I think we are at the point to drop it all and see them when we can until they grow up and make their own decisions. Thanks ladies.
The judicial system is just amazing ...
We ended up paying day care costs that the BM had written on a sheet of paper. Yes, that she had written on a sheet of paper! Our lawyer didn't bother to challenge it -- which we did ask him to do -- and the judge just said DH had to pay it. Amazing. It's really hard when BM can take all of these great vacations and we can't even make the bills. Still, I'd rather be broke with my great husband than trying to relive my 20s like some people ...
DON'T GIVE UP WE MADE IT!
My Husband and I have been fighting with BM for years. She didn't want anything to do with my SD until we started being a "family", then she decided that my SD should be with her real mom and see her father on weekends. In the state of Maine you have to prove the mother unfit in order to get custody. BM and her husband even went to work and "forgot" SD at home when she was 2 years old and that still wasn't enough. So for years we just had to record everything that happened and eventually we did it we have full custody. The down fall is we thought this might end some of our headache but not even a week after the judge gave us the order she was already appealing it! Can you believe this woman? P.s all the child support she wanted to collect while sitting at home we are collecting now