Just when I think there's hope...
Everytime I think we are going to have a little time without SD (and by a little - even a day or two helps) something goes wrong. For example, I was all excited because hubby arranged with BM to take my SD Friday night through Saturday til late evening. He was going to arrange then for his mom to take SD Saturday night...all for me and us so that we could have an enjoyable holiday weekend without fighting, so we could have family time with just our kids, and so I could have a very needed break from SD. I was so happy that he took the iniative to try to arrange it. I was so happy that I thought he was going to follow through with it (it was his plan and not mine).
Well, all of that, only to find out tonight that it's not going to happen. BM told hubby that she just got engaged and can't have her daughter as long as she told him she would(this is at least the 5th time she's told him that in the last 2 years - she's so full of lies just to get out of spending time with her daughter). Then, hubby never did ask his mom to take SD on SAturday, so that isn't going to happen either. The break that I thought I was going to get has turned in to another disaster and ruined holiday due to transportation arrangements and timing. We were going to go out to my parents (who are out fo town for the weekend) and swim and relax all day. Now it's not even going to be worth going because by the time we can get the kids packed up and out there, unload the car and eat lunch, it will be time to pack the van back up and head out of town to get his daughter.
Hubby doesn't understand why I am upset and disappointed. He just falls for her lies instead of calling BM out. A simple "sure you are" to her excuse would have done the trick. So once again, our family time is ruined, holiday cut short all for a little brat that I don't want to be around. Maybe I will just stay at my parents with my kids and he can stay at our house with his daughter. I JUST CAN'T DEAL WITH HER ANYMORE!!! I NEED A BREAK FROM sd SO BADLY!!!
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Comments
Go without them!
You need this time, so take it and don't feel a second's worth of guilt about it. Go with your children and enjoy the time with them and your parents. There is no rule that you cannot do this. The plans were made, he chose to back out. Okay. That's his choice. But it doesn't have to ruin the trip for YOU. You need the time away from SD and it probably wouldn't hurt to get away from DH for a little while, either. Here's your chance! Take it!
My DH and I have been doing so much better lately. He went out of town recently and I discovered that - wow! - I really missed him! You can't miss someone if you are always with them and sometimes a little separation can be good for the relationship. Sometimes it can be a real eye-opener to see a gaping void where you're spouse is supposed to be. His daughter, his problem. We can't be all things to everyone. And we can be nothing to anyone if we don't take care of ourselves.
~ Anne ~
"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)
Go!
definitely go!! everyone needs some space sometimes, tell him this will give him some good quality time alone with his daughter, maybe the two of them will benefit from that while you are having a good time with your kids. take the opportunity to breathe some stress free air and make yourself a pina colada to enjoy while they are swimming in the pool!
adios my love
Yes I would definetly go .. he made the choice to let the BM ruin the weekend plans he had so now let him stay home and deal with the problem. I have told my husband that the next time that our visit is screwed up I am going on with adult plans that weekend with out him, why should you have to deal with the SD let him the weekend will be better for you and your kids if you go.
Don't forget the sunscreen!
Hey be honest this is not a "i would like" situation we all need a break sometimes and to hell with those who feel we need permission- DH didn't get your permission to change his plans- ISN'T THAT IN OUR BILL OF RIGHTS? IT IS SOMEWHERE ON THIS SITE MAYBE YOU SHOULD SHOW HIM! Besides since BM has been engaged 5 times in two years why is it even special anymore? Run for them there hills and don't look back!
There is no reaon where logic does not exist
engaged - yeah right
BM has never been engaged - she just says she is to try to make my hubby feel like she has moved on. She has not only said that she's engaged or has set a wedding date at least 5 times (none true - and all to the same guy), but she also says that she is moving all of the time. I can count of at least 8 times she has said she is moving and none of them have happened. She is 41 yr old, lives with her dad in a not so good part of town - has no money, keeps getting fatter by the day, and she is just unhappy. SD says that she and her boyfriend hit and yell at each other all of the time (yeah - in front of sd). BM told hubby just 2 weeks ago that her and her boyfriend were on hold and taking a break. People just don't go from that to engaged in such a short time - at least normal people...so I just remind myself that I'm not dealing with a normal person. I am dealing with a compulsive liar who is mentally unstable and not a rational person.
I have decided though to go ahead with plans and go. Hubby has let BM ruin all of our holidays (Christmas plans, New Year's plans, 4th of July, the day I came home from the hospital with my first child, and yes even Mother's Day - my first one was the worst - BM didn't want her daughter on mother's day because she wanted to play softball- hubby gave her several opportunities, so we were stuck with her, then when Mother's day came around BM called and yelled at hubby for nearly an hour - her softball game was rained out and then she said hubby wouldn't let her have her daughter. I hate holidays anymore just because BM always ruins them and hubby always lets her.