NEED TO VENT!!!!
Well today I find out that BM has called DH to see if I can watch SS and the other 3 kids while she works. I would not have a problem with it if it was only SS and she would work a normal(7am-7pm)job. She is married to a man that only works from 7am-5pm Monday thru Friday. She did not have to find a job, she did this on her own. She has qualifications to office work, so that she could still be there for her kids, but where does she go to work at? A bar, now I don't knock anyone that works in a bar, but for her this is THE ONLY PLACE SHE WANTS TO WORK!! So why do I have to watch her kids? The past week has been hell for me I just had another miscarrage brought on by high blood pressure, stress, and the placenta tearing away from my uterus. So as you can imagine I am not up for doing ANYTHING!!! I do not want to watch SS because right now I have all kinds of feelings running through me. I do not need for him to be in the middle if this. But does she understand No!!! She told my husband that I should be use to this that I just need to suck it up because it is not all about me, SS needs to be able to come here Thursday thru Saturday and that she will be here to pick him up st 3am. Is this B***H stipid he has school. The more I write the more upset I get. DH told her, he pays her right at $900 a month get a babysitter, When she can be more sensitive then and only then will he ASK me if I want to keep SS. I am starting to HATE her more than I did before. My question is why does God give people children that do not deserve them? Because on my end for the life of me I can't figure this one out. And, I hate myself for not liking SS right now, I know he did not ask to be here, but he is, and he has a crazy & psycho B***H for a mom that does not deserve the 4 she has!!! Yes, I know that I am being mean but this is how I feel!!:jawdrop:
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Oh, honey
I am sorry to hear about your situation. I know how hard this must be for you. However, your job is not to be her babysitter. Especially since she wants to work in a bar. My SS's mother is a bartender- her chosen profession. She actually let SS go live w/ her mom b/c she doesn't want to give up that lifestyle, even for her own child. Trust me these women are the selfish ones, and if she can't understand that you are in no condition to be baysitting she needs to suck it up and start shelling out money for their care. Let that bitch know you mean business!!!
"All that we are is a result of what we have thought."- Buddha
I feel so bad for you. I
I feel so bad for you. I know how you are feeling about SS right now. I had that emotion at one point and time but had to let it go. It took me a few weeks of non stop crying in the shower, but I did it, it was after the loss of my baby also. I did not want either of my SD's at my house. (Note there are 2 BM's in my situation). That makes it so much harder. One BM is harder to deal with than the other, so I was recenting one SD more than the other. However, I do have a son and came to the conclusion that I would never want his SM to feel this way about him. I had to dig down deep and figure out who to turn my anger towards. It was actually towards my DH. He was at fault and caused so much mess. So, I decided one night to get myself back and I let into him like you wouldn't believe. No hollering or cussing. I basically made him feel 6 in tall by the time I was finished letting him know how deeply he had hurt me. I know you can't do this to BM because she does sound very selfish. DH needs to let her know that she can find a babysitter, or that he can keep part of the Child support and pay a sitter himself, being you have to find one and she is evidentally not capable of that.
Well, good luck. You have to hold your head up and just block BM out. Keep SS in your good thoughts.....
So sorry for your loss
I truly feel for you, I was blessed with a boy 9 years ago after years of not being able to get pregnant and then we both almost didn't make it through-I know what you are saying I watched as we struggled to get pregnant his ex had several terminations it makes me so sick that good women have to struggle while people who shouldn,t be trusted with a dog can have as many as they want or don't want.
Take some satisfaction that DH is understanding and considerate enough to stand up to her and try to take care of you not worry or stress about that sick twisted female or anything but coping and grieving as you need to.
Bless you and I hope you can see through all this and end up happy.
Thanks guys
I really needed to hear I was not the only one. Thanks again