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Maybe, just maybe coming around to my point of view?

Steamed's picture

Yesterday was court day for both SS and SD. Yep, that's right, both of them in court on the same day.

SD had a pretty good job at a local car dealership until she decided one day to shred an invoice and pocket the cash. She said she needed money for minutes on her cell phone, GRRRRRR. What the hell is wrong with these kids?

Anyway, SS went to court yesterday for the corruption to minors charge, got 3 months probation, basically a slap on the wrist.

SD in court right after SD, gets assigned to the ARD program, (thats Accelerated Rehabilitative Disposition). So basically another slap on the wrist. I just love our judicial system.

My wife decided (with my input) last week that after their hearings she was giving them both ultimatums, I was doubtful that she would go through with it and was waiting to see if she would. Last night we sat them down one at a time and she laid it out to them as follows:

SD - Has one month to find a full time job
- will start paying $50 per week rent after finding said job
- If either of these conditions aren't met in a month, she
will be thrown out on her ear ( her words not mine)

SS - Has two months to move out of the house. As she saw things
he has 3 choices to accomplish this:

A. Join a military branch that will still take him.
B. Move in with his dad
C. Find his own place

SD as usual gave us both her pissy attitude, but my wife didn't bend. SS just kept saying that he still wanted to go to school, even after pointing out to him that it wasn't very likely anymore because of his record, the school rep told us that they don't take anyone with a criminal record or numerous traffic tickets, he now has both. He says no way he is going back into the military, and he doesn't want to live with his dad so he said in a really pissed off tone " fine I'll get my own place ".

I was proud of my wife for doing what I think both of these kids need, even though I know her instinct is to protect them and do everything for them. She says that she is fed up and tired of both of them going nowhere. Now I have to wait and see if she will follow through when the time comes. I validate her decision every chance I get, tell her that it's the right thing to do and that I back her up 100%. I just hope that she can see that neither of these kids are going to do anything without a kick in the pants, and that we have to do the kicking to get them started.

Comments

OldTimer's picture

For your own sack. I know that this is where the REAL problem lies...

You know, can I ask if you stepped back from the issue? I'm just curious to know if that has prompted her to now take a longer look at the situation. If that was the reason she's finally realizing the bigger picture? Is she really getting it now. I hope so.

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

Nellie's picture

I'm glad your wife seems to be stepping up to the plate. Hope she sticks to her guns.

I'm kind of wondering why you are giving SD a month to find a job. Because you want a full time job for her and that takes longer? Because if she is an unskilled and uneducated worker, it only takes a day to get a job. McDonalds doesn't have a 3 week interview process. That kind of time frame is for professional jobs. Burger flippers are typically "can you start tomorrow?" jobs. The reason I ask is that she can now kick back and do nothing for 3.8 weeks, then get the job.

Nellie's picture

If you don't collect the $50 per week until she gets a job, what's the incentive to get a job as soon as possible? Waiting the full 4 weeks would save her $200.....

Anne 8102's picture

This is what they've needed all along. Someday they'll thank her for it. Or not. Either way, if she sticks to her guns, they will cease being YOUR problem. GOOD FOR YOU!

~ Anne ~

"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)