Question about phone visitation
We currently don't have in the visitation paperwork that BM is allowed phone visitation but we were trying to be nice and try to make SS available everynight to talk to BM. However last Saturday we went out to dinner and to the park and so we missed her call. We got home late and SS was tired so we didn't call BM back.
It's now Tuesday and she's talked to SS everynight since Sunday yet she just decided to text my fiance "what happened Saturday! We tried to call SS" She keeps going on and on how we are keeping her from talking to SS etc...
We don't have to be available every night for her to talk to SS do we?
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Yeah, we ran into this
Yeah, we ran into this problem as well. Except our BB was calling three times a day, and if STBX didn't answer, she'd continue to call and call obsessively. Sometimes she'd be dissatisfied with the convo she had with SS and she'd call back over and over until she felt that it was okay to end the conversation. This led to STBX turning his phone off until the evening when we had SS. He always answered the phone at night and if we missed it, he'd have SS call her back. That wasn't good enough and during one of our many court battles, her lawyer told the judge that we were refusing to let her talk to SS. Mind you, he was never with us for more than two overnights at a time.
We had a line added to the CO that mentioned "reasonable phone access be granted to each parent during the child's time with the other". Of course, "reasonable" is so subjective to each person. Reasonable to BB was 3 times a day. She did calm down some...but if STBX would pick SS up at 6:30 pm she'd still call an hour and a half later to say good-nights, and call repeatedly until SS spoke to her. She even does it on vacations and has the nerve to freak if SS is not right there waiting.
The best way to deal with this, IMO, is to set aside a time each night or however frequently it's agreed upon for SS to call her. Honestly, most of us have cell phones now so it's tough to use the "not home" excuse, you know? So she gets her call from SS at say 7:30 pm and if she misses it, that's that. You are not obligated to call back or keep the phone on all night to get her return call.
Good luck!
Krissy
We added it in mediation to modify custody
because she was calling so much it was ridiculous! Basically it wasn't to speak to HER CHILDREN, but to curse and harass DH and me. So DH added it and BM can only call once a day at 7pm. So...for about 1 1/2 years she never called, just spent her weekends with the kids (we have primary custody) but whenever something happens either in her life, our life whatever... then she starts calling at 7pm. If we are home, we answer. Occasionally if we are in the car, we answer. But on weekends if we are out having fun, no call. The point is not to alienate the other parent. If you answer "most of the time" then you are doing GREAT!
We actually had to get a 2nd
We actually had to get a 2nd line because she kept calling Fiances cell all the time, I mean times when SS would be at school or daycare and she'd call so damn late. We ended up getting a 2nd line and writing a note that states she can call from 7-9 on weekdays and on Sat from 6-10 and Sun 6-9 and we'd try to make SS available but that we would not always be available at that time.
On Satuday we went to dinner and Park and got home late - the one time we missed her call in forever and she's now on Tuesday throwing a fit.
Reasonable Times Reasonable Durations
DH's court order states the above. I had this question before and I was told as long as you allow at least 2 hours a week for BM to talk to SS. Remember there are 7 days in a week so that is plenty of tim to leave open.