I see your true colors shining through...
How many of you told me that BM's nicey-nice attitude was just an act? Those of you that did can pat yourselves on the back because you were absolutely right. A few days ago, BF's attorney went to court to represent him against her lawsuit for contempt of court over the child support arrears. That morning, as BM was on her way to court, she decided to park her car in front of BF's store and call him repeatedly until he finally answered. She demanded money from him for a trip that SS is going on, gas, lunch money, and some other reasons. BF told her that he just gave her $1000 and she just borrowed $75 out of SS's piggy bank, so if she was blowing her money and broke already that wasn't his problem because he was NOT giving her any money that didn't come directly from his CS payments. She tried to guilt trip him into giving the money because if he didn't, SS wouldn't get to go on this school trip. BF said considering all the money SS and BF have both given her, if she is so irresponsible that she needs to beg for $38 then she can tell SS exactly why he's not going.
BF's attorney's office called him in the middle of all this and asked him how BM was acting that day. BF said well, considering she's sitting outside my office calling me every five minutes, I'd say it's not looking too good right now. What?!? The aide put BF's attorney on the phone and she flipped out. What do you mean that psycho bitch is sitting outside calling you? And considering BF has a lawsuit pending against BM for harrassment, of course that really doesn't look good on her...
So after court, BM called BF and in a really hateful voice said only two words, "GOOD LUCK." BF had no idea what this meant, so he called his attorney to see what had happened. She had no idea what BM may have meant by that, but did relay to him how BM acted in court. Apparently BM tried to use the court as a sounding board for all of her complaints about BF (as she always does). After listening to her crap for about 30 minutes, attorney finally said look, BF is caught up on his CS payments, he only owes $200 in arrears...that's the only reason we're here. None of this other crap matters. Of course, BM was pissed that the judge agreed with her and found 0 counts of contempt against BF.
So BM has been emailing me several times a day to ask me why I'm not speaking to her. She's gone from being nice to being accusatory and rude. Imagine that! I told BF that she really showed her true colors in court that day. All it took was for her to be shown yet again that everyone is on BF's side and she's only wasting her time and her money. We talked about how she was probably only being nice and pretending that "we all needed to get along for SS's sake" because she thought she was going to hammer him in court and wanted him to drop his charges against her. Well, she's pissed him off so much that he said there's no way in hell he's dropping the charges now. Originally he had planned on requesting a continuance when they went to court so that he could have those charges hanging over her head and hopefully that would keep her in line. Well, now he said that she's hung herself and he's not playing nice anymore, he's going to go ahead and let the charges go through. These are criminal charges, so she could possibly be arrested, put on probation, lose her job, etc...
Sheesh! So things aren't calm and peaceful like they have been for the past few weeks. I have to say I'm kind of glad. BM was creeping me out! Now she's back to her normal, harrassing, stalking self.
- Nymh's blog
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It was only a matter of time, wasn't it?
None of us are surprised, Nymh. None of us. Hang in there! Keep us posted on the insanity. This woman never ceases to amaze me.
They never fail
The never cease to amaze me.
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
RE:
I can't block her. I can make her emails go directly to the trashcan but I can't make it to where I don't see that they're there because I still have to physically empty the trash.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Outlook Express?
You can set it up to delete from the server, that way they never appear in your inbox. That is, if you're using Outlook or something similar. If you're checking from a web-based account, then just ID them as SPAM and they will automatically delete after so many days.
~ Anne ~
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
RE:
What I'm doing right now is: I have my main account forward all of her emails to an account I set up specifically for the purpose of storing every email she ever sends me. They are then put in the trash of my main account. They never hit my Outlook. The benefit of this process is that I can retain all communication from her so as to use it in court if the need ever arises (which it will in the next two weeks, to prove my need for the restraining order). I have always saved every piece of communication from her for this very reason. The only downside of that is that I am constantly aware of the thousands of emails (not exaggerating) that I have from her and it kinda gets to me. I don't mean to sound like I'm setting myself apart...but how many people really have to deal with someone so psycho and obsessed? Some of the stuff I have stored in my archives is really bad. But no matter how much it bothers me, I have to keep it...because someday, I'll be going to court to defend my right to exist peacefully and independent of her neurotic behavior, and I'll need them.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Hmmm!
Any chance you could just forward them to your atty?! Just kidding... I used to be a paralegal and no way would I want all that crap sitting in MY inbox!
I know what you mean. I have a file drawer entirely full of crap that I'm afraid to throw out because you just never know when you might need it in court and I hate, Hate, HATE knowing that it's there. Sigh. Such is life.
~ Anne ~
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Oh Nymh
It would ahve been nice though, if she was serious. I was hoping but like in my case, that never works when it comes to BM. I'm glad you stood your ground. I'm thrilled your BF is standing his.
IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.
Trust me, so am I!
She almost had him swindled. When she first started playing nice and begging him to drop the charges or she'd lose her job, wouldn't be able to take care of SS, she'd cry when she called him to beg for his mercy...she almost had him. He was thinking really hard about dropping the charges. As a compromise to himself he came up with the plan to uphold the court date but motion for a continuance so that he wouldn't have to charge her for the harrassment unless she started being psycho bitch again. But now that she's shown her true colors and that it was all just a manipulative game, he's ready to go all the way with it.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
She takes the cake.
Good Lord, un-real. I am so happy to hear he didn't back down. I tell my BF all the time. Your BM gets the Oscar, with of course Caitlin's BM in 2nd place.
Keep standing your gound baby. This lady is nuts beyond repair. Not your problem. Love your self, love your man, love the kid, and be happy.
Jo
I am Glad She Showed Her Ass
You were the sweetheart all along wanting her niceness to be sincere. I am sorry it was not sincere on her part but that shows me YOUR true colors
You girls will be happy to know...
My attorney has finally gotten the Restraining Order prepared. I signed the order for ex-parte today. As soon as she is served with it, I won't have to worry about her contacting me anymore. And if she does, I will call my lawyer every time!
I really hate that it had to come to this, but BM has proven to me time and again that she is completely incapable of being sincerely cooperative. Over and over she has shown that her main focus is to cause problems for myself and BF and get as much money out of us or cause us to spend as much money as she can. I still feel guilty for filing the order because to date I've never done anything self-serving regarding her. I've always been nice, forgiving, understanding, compassionate. I've even gone far outside the bounds of what is proper to suit her at times. But I am proud of myself for doing this. I am proud to say that I've done something with MY OWN best interest in mind.
Thank you girls so much for your guidance, support, and advice. You all mean so much to me.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Nothing to feel guilty about!
Just because she's biologically linked to your BF's child doesn't mean she can get away with this kind of crap - if she was anybody else and behaving that way, you wouldn't stand for it, right? Then don't feel bad about standing up for what's right against her!
Well done!
Blueberry's Baby
Good for you, Nymh!
Being nice is great and you are definitely a sweetheart, but never be a doormat. She's had this coming for a very long time. You don't have to delight in the trouble this will cause her - or you can, whatever floats your boat - but you should be able to finally rest assured that you're in control of your life now, not her.
~ Anne ~
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
RE:
I'd be lying to say that I don't delight in her pitfalls, even if it is only a little. But mostly I just feel guilty. I'm really trying to work on that. I'm a strange and rare breed - I have more focus on the end than in how I feel while getting to the end. I'm very Machiavellian by nature. The end justifies the means. How I feel while going through the process doesn't matter, it's the end result that matters. This is how I operate at work, at home, in regards to my own physical health, and in my relationships with my BF, friends, family...
Lately I've come to the realization that this is just not healthy. I'm really trying to work on it. BF is helping me tremendously. He is trying to help me realize that my feelings matter, my health is very important, etc.
It's just so hard. It's also difficult to explain. Like, I have to go to work. On time. Every day. Too bad if I don't feel good. I go anyway. I'm zealous, passionate, and Machiavellian.
So when you all ask me why I continue to keep these emails from BM and not block her, remember that about me. I can't just block all contact from her, because I know I will have to use it in court someday. I'd hate to have to defend myself with no evidence. Even though it bothers me, I still keep it all.
I don't know why I went through the trouble of explaining all that. I guess I just needed you guys to know a little more about me.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
I think
the greater majority of us feel a little glee at the pitfalls of the BM's in our life. I apperciate you sharing a little more about yourself, makes it more real somehow. And Nymh, your feelings, your health, ect... They DO matter!!!! YOU matter!!!
IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.
Man...
I am hoping for the best for you. Glad to hear you stood your ground!
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
Good for you!
I'm so glad you went through with it! It's a good reminder to the rest of us that have a tendency to let evil BM behavior slide that it is important to stand up for yourself. Yay for you!