My vent for the day...

We're all feeling pretty down right now.
Dh wrote a pretty heartfelt email to BB. He told her he was hurting over the fact that SS is not being raised to be a responsible or respectful person. He said he will no longer discipline SS the few days he sees him, for things he does on HER time (not completing homework, horrible grades, etc.) He will no longer call SS every night to remind him what homework is coming due, just to have SS lie, and BM not care. He said he's spent sleepless nights worrying about SS and the path he's on. He told her it hurts that SS doesn't want to be with him because DH hold SS accountable, yet SS is not held accountable with her. DH said his hands are tied and he feels he can't help SS because she blocks it every time. He said it's killing him to watch his child on a downward spiral and have no way to help him.

BB replied and said, 'if you think it's so easy to raise him, YOU take him!' That was it. Nothing more.

This has happened a few times before. DH would love to have full custody. Everytime, she recants it. Everytime, she tells SS all about it too. She says it almost as a threat to him.

I'm sure it hurts SS. I KNOW it hurts DH. It hurts me too.

Of course SS isn't going to want to be with us when DH grounds him for not doing his schoolwork, for being disrespectful, lying, etc. He's 13. When I was 13, I wouldn't want to be with the parent that held me accountable for my choices either! I can't say I blame SS, but it makes for a bleak future for him unless something changes.

Maybe we could use the documentation of her offering SS up to dh to win custody, but everytime we try to fight a battle, it's SS that feels hurt. It's mediation that goes round and round and nothing happens but SS feeling the fight and being put in the middle. DH and I don't want to make things worse for him yet again.

Often times I really believe that his mother doesn't care about what's best for him. Custody=control and $$.