I don't know if BM is mentally unfit but I felt this suited our situation.
Ex's are usually ex'a for a reason.. Whether that's because of abuse issues, cheating, not getting along, the list is enlist why parents just don't make it together and it involved breakups. My husbands situation is a bit different as he was never in a relationship /dating BM when his son14 was conceived it was a 'casual' hookup so to speak back in hubby's younger years(20) . However the situation grew tense quickly, as anyone can imagine finding out you got a son randomly. BM came knocking on hubby's parents door about two years after 'hubby's son was born with all sorts of demands . One being that hubby had to be with her in order to see child and my hubby said no so she left the city and moved away for a few years.

2 years ago exactly, BM waltz into our lives with her 12 year old son asking my hubby if he wants a relationship with his son, after not seeing him for about 9 years. She was married to a man that their son called dad, and she had other children but they were separated at this point and she says she needed help raising 'their' son now. Hubby was over joyed he hadn't been able to locate or contact her for years and lawyers adviced him to keep paying child support and then go to court but court was so expensive that he never ended up doing it he would just wait till his son was old enough to decide.

It took two months not even for BM to cause all sorts if problems. Hubby thought after 10 years she may have changed. My hubby and I had been together for 3 years at that point and recently married. It caused a lot of friction as BM did not want their son around another women (me) or my two children from my precious relationship. Then she started to make a big deal about 'family' things such as camping trips, out of town trips together and not wanting their son to go. At one point I'm pretty sure she tried to flirt with my hubby several times and 'wanted him for herself tad she was calling him everyday even trying at 10pm but hubby would not answer. She started to become very rude to my hubby continuously calling him a shitty father just because he wouldn't pay for his sons hot lunch (she gets child support each month from him and it's more than enough) and for not letting 'their' son play video games at our house among a few other things. Ss 12 at the time caught on real quick the manipulation between BM and my hubby. Ss 12 at the time would go home to BM and complain about dad, and BM would get upset and even BM mother(grandma) would call my hubby yelling at him. BM felt that my hubby wasn't doing enough with ss12 such as one on one, however that wasn't the case at all. I work shift work and was gone a lot of weekends including my children were with their dad so my hubby would do things with his son alone lots but ss12 was telling a different story IOS what I think was going on.

Anyhow, 1 year of complete caos from two other women (BM and her mom) trying to run my husbands life what he can and cannot do to trying to always make my hubby feel guilty for something to putting him down when she was mad. It took a large effect on ss and my hubby and their relationship slowly drained and became distant from both sides. SS is 14 now and the past year rarely calls dad, actually never. My hubby calls him a few times but SS is always busy or he would come over for a night and get BM to pick him up. Ss and BM are pretty close, I could tell right from the beginning which is great for a mother and son but ss started to side with mom. Last year five months went by with no contact between as and hubby mainly because BM and hubby got into a big argument. BM went to my hubby's company and spoke to his boss about my husband not getting time off for their sons 1 week school camping trip. BM threatened the company to take them to work labour board or something and called them a shitty company. It caused problems obviously and hubby contacted the local police regarding herassment and BM was not able to contact hubby at all. Therefore hubby and ss13 at the time had to make arrangements . They made two arrangements to hangout and you could tell ss was mad and very distant and after that five months went by without any contact. This year in 2017 hubby seem ss14 now, once four months ago. Hubby tries to facebook message him twice and no response and texts as phone.

An old friend if BM ran I to my hubby last week asking if he has seen his son. My hubby responded not for months. This friend of BM told my hubby that BM and her parents were always sitting around talking very badly about my hubby right infront of SS and this happened more than once. That this is the reason Ss isn't coming around and this person mentioned a bunch if other stuff that my husband did not care to hear. My husband response is that his son is a teenager now, he has his own computer his own cell phone and is old enough to contact his dad when he wants and if he chooses not to because he wants to believe bam it's his choice. My hubby is stubborn that way, and our house has rules and different guidelines than BM and we are always out doing stuff as a family because we are a family regardless if ss likes his dad being in a family with others . We were together and married before before SS came into the picture and we had a home together . We also have a baby on the way, which we also believe to be a cause of anger with BM and SS. However my hubby has made it clear SS is apart of our family to if he wants to be and that hubby will always care for him, send child support he is just not giving I into BM or SS ridiculous demands and controls..

That is my situation in short form . The last two years of dealing with toxic people. Seeing my husband try to please everyone, trying to be a good father and build a relationship after not knowing his son his hole life. Trying to be the father image. I seen my husband do a lot with his son and my husband was proud to have a son and to teach him things but watching ss show disrespect or not participating or constantly always calling BM to pick him up because he wants to go home to play video games saddened my husband a lot. At one point my husband let ss play video games and ss played all day non stop and didn't want to do anything else like go for a family bike ride, go for a hike, go down to the beach .. Nothing. Even a family movie my husband had to finally say no games. Ss would just sit on his cell phone constantly too . Ss would complain bout lots. Tell lies to his mom. When confronted he would deny it. If my hubby didn't give him money for something he wanted .. Ss would tell BM and my husband would be a crappy dad for not getting him a new game, skateboard or anything else he wanted that weekend. But ss knew BM would get it for him right away and that was the thing she always got him everything he wanted.