Should I bother telling DH?
While out shopping today I see SS26, SDIL, sgs8 (ss26's skid) and sgs4. sgs8 asks what I'm doing tomorrow and I tell him that I'm working. He says, "Oh that's too bad because it's my birthday party." As an afterthought ss chimes in and tells me to be sure to remind DH that it's sgs8's birthday tomorrow.
So I'm supposed to remind DH about his step grandson's birthday which is tomorrow. They're throwing a party which neither DH or I have heard of until now and are not invited to, yet DH is expected to run out and buy a present for sgs so they can come over to our house and pick it up later. This happens every year, usually they call to remind DH, but now I'm supposed to be the messenger girl?
I didn't ask ss, but why can't he remind his own father of his step sons birthday?! Why should I be the go between? I'm leaning towards just mentioning that I saw ss & family while out today and leaving it at that or not saying anything at all.
You are not "supposed to have
You are not "supposed to have to" anything you don't want to do. You're under no obligation. Your DH's kids/grandkids, your husband' problem to remember (or forget) these things.
Me? I would remind my DH in your case. in out and buy to be picked up later? No. Tell him to get a card, a $15-$20 gift card for Toys R Us or Walmart (wherever makes most sense to you) and stick it in mail. Kids love to have a bit of cash to pick stuff out.
Kid will be thrilled to get mail, present all done and DH's son won't have his nose out of joint that GPa remembered GS4 but not SGS8.
DH isn't obligated to do my suggestion either. I'm giving it because the card and small gift card are just one of those things that make steplife easier and spare fee-fees.
Dh is never invited to skid
Dh is never invited to skid birthday parties or any gatherings at SS/SDIL's house. I suspect it's because BM is there and that's her domain. Last year the same issue came up and SDIL asked if we could come, SS quickly stopped her and muttered something about BM under his breath. I overheard SDIL say "I don't see what the problem is, they're all adults."
I'm not that big on kiddie parties anyway, but it would be nice if DH was invited to his own grands parties. Instead the ritual has been that DH will be excluded but they will still expect him (us) to provide gifts and a little party at our house. I'm sure ss knows that I was the one doing the work and shopping so that's why it's my responsibilty now to remind DH.
Very true, I did mention that
Very true, I did mention that I saw them but didn't mention the party or reminding him of sgs's birthday. Saying nothing has become my motto when it comes to skids. If I get involved at all I'm either being used, "Hey remind dad to buy my kid presents," or accused of hating skids (which may happen since I didn't remind DH) so as you so wisely suggest, I "say nothing."
I would casually mention to
I would casually mention to dh you ran into them at the store and what they said. That way later it can't be twisted into "but we told SM and she didn't tell you".
Yesterday DH's & I's schedule
Yesterday DH's & I's schedule were like ships passing in the night. He left the house before me, I got home late then he had to leave again. I saw him for about 20 minutes after I got home and did not want to spend the time talking skid drama. I did casually mention that I saw ss and family out then changed the subject. I'm not going to go back to be the middleman doormat for skids to use and abuse. If they want gifts from DH they'll have to ask him themselves.
Nope you are not a messenger
Nope you are not a messenger thus you do not have to say anything.....
and honestly , if not invited there will be no give, you are disengage, simply stay quiet about it,
Thanks Acra, I mentioned that
Thanks Acra, I mentioned that I saw them out but didn't mention the other stuff.
Since it's been made crystal clear that I'm NOT family... I'm also Not the messenger, go between, doormat, or party coordinator.