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Sick Kid

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Thu, 02/02/2017 - 1:37pm

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Parenting Issues

Yesterday, at around 3:30 DH texts me that SDstb11 has a fever. BM just dropped her off.
Apparently BM had a class to take...he had no warning she was ill before drop off.
DH asks me where the thermometer is.

me: In either X cabinet in our bath or Y cabinet in girls bath with the meds.

No response from then on.

I get home just before 7:00, SD is on couch, wrapped in blankets looking miserable.
She's hot all right.
She's got no water, no juice nothing to drink. Apparently DH tried to feed her some pasta which didn't work. :? Obviously.
DH: I couldn't find the thermometer. Do you know where it is?
me: What? It should be with the meds, no other place. I have no idea.
DH: Well, maybe I just didn't look very well.
me: Why don't you double check?
DH: I don't want to go downstairs AGAIN (to SDs bathroom)
me: Then there you have it. And you wonder why I get upset when things go missing or aren't put back?

(I know he's fishing for ME to go on a 40 minute round trip to pick up a thermometer)

At around 7:30 DH asks if he should ask one of our friends to pick up a thermometer at the store before he heads home (he drives by our house on his way home).
me: Why are you asking me? Just ask HIM.
DH: Texting madly...
me: Why didn't you ask me when I was on my way home? I drive right by the store at around 6:30.
DH: I didn't look for it until a little while ago
(After he's been home for THREE HOURS with a kid with a fever)
DH: Well, friend has left already so he can't pick one up.

At least he got SD into PJs and in bed early.
Still no water or juice.
Apparently she still has a fever this morning, but is feeling a little better so that's good.
I reminded him to get fluids in her but he's SO awful when either one of them is sick, I cannot do anything right or make any suggestions. It's like SM hell in my world x 10. If I was really worried about her I would have gone to get a thermometer obviously, but nope, not this time.

notasm3's picture

Submitted by notasm3 on Thu, 02/02/2017 - 2:42pm

My DH was an EMS in another life and was a Medic in the Army - Viet Nam era so DECADES ago. I swear he thinks he can practice medicine. Fortunately we have no children for him to "practice" on.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Thu, 02/02/2017 - 3:48pm

Post like this make it clear why some BMs don't believe some of these dads are capable of taking care of the kids. Some of the craziness really is justified.

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Thu, 02/02/2017 - 5:43pm

DH has issues organizing things and keeping track of what's important (ADD and on meds for it).
I cut him a little slack most of the time.

Yep, we both did the hand thing but if he wanted a thermometer he could get one.

The bigger issue is we live in a rural area, the drugstore was already closed (just one) and the grocery store is a 40 min round trip, so there's not a plethora of places to go...which means he needs to think ahead. And that is a real challenge for him. No excuses, but he's better than he used to be. I was impressed she was wrapped up in a blanket when I got home and sitting quietly on the couch.

If I thought she was in immediate danger I would have totally intervened; he did confirm for me she has been drinking water and eating some crackers so he's at least a little better on top if it today.

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Fri, 02/03/2017 - 12:42pm

DH couldn't somehow organize a trip to the store yesterday so he asked me to pick up a thermometer, juice and vitamins for SD. Fine. For her. He will be paying me back.

He also jumped all over me for merely asking SD if she wanted some water or juice (that I had just brought home) with her dinner. "She's going to have some AFTER dinner!" - without waiting for her to respond to me. Jeez, sorry for asking.

She looked awful and it's turning into a head/chest cold, and this morning apparently she still has a fever...DH was asking me a million questions this morning so I gave him the nurse-line to call.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Fri, 02/03/2017 - 1:12pm

FFS he wouldnt even let her have a drink with her meal? wtf does he think it's gonna do to her?!!? i'm sorry but that man has no instincts in this department. good for you for giving him someone else to call!

ya know, dh and i were actually discussing this recently. another family member of mine lost two of his kids to the ex, but the ex was freaking out about HOW TO BE A PARENT. things like "how do i enroll them in school?" thankfully she's figured things out. but dh was incredulous. he said "as a parent you should KNOW these things without even having to be told or taught! h3ll, i didnt have to be taught how to warm up a bottle or hold them or basic, basic things that should just come out of instinct!"

your husband is truly clueless....