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Adult SD is having a baby! HELPPPPP

oldtimetouches's picture

Hey guys! I've been married a year and a half to love the love of my life. We've been together over 10 years. I have 2 adult kids who love him, he has 2 adult daughters that hate me, why you ask? I have no idea. From day one, they told their dad, we are glad that you you're happy, but, we want nothing to do with her. For the most part, it's been OK. He's does his thing with them and I'm OK with that. His older daughter was recently married, and I was not invited to the wedding, she even was willing not to have one if I came, so off he went without me. At first it didnt bother me, but after a few hours and the curse called Facebook, I became angry and very sad. It was a weekend wedding, so he was away for 2 days, and looking at the pics., on social media with the whole family dancing and being happy just got to me, BTW, his entire family loves me. Now, we just found out she having a baby. I'm so torn, I want to be happy for my husband, but I just can't. The birth, the parties, the visiting and everything else that comes along with having a child will cause nothing but problems. He knows the way the feel, and he's really great about it, but he feels powerless over them. I know he fears losing the, he speaks up sometimes, but then leaves it alone when it gets heated. He refuses to go for therapy because in his heart he knows that he should put his foot down, but he won't or maybe can't. Anyone have any advice? Thanks so much for reading

yolo222's picture

You are his wife. He is being ridiculous. He went to the wedding withou u? That would have really upset me. His daughters need to grow up. I'm assuming you were not with DH while he was still in his prior marriage?!? I can't imagine any other r a son why the girls would not want u around??! He needs to set his girls straight and stick up for his wife. It's been going on for a long time the it might be hard for him to change. You must have known about this dynamic prior to marrying?? Seems like a huge red flag to me

oldtimetouches's picture

Thanks for you reply. My thought has always been that we have such a great relationship. Great friends, family (outside them). We have so much in common, he makes me laugh, really laugh, we are truly friends, so the few hours out of my life that he's with them wasn't going to spoil that, and realy it hasn't. I'm not going to let them ruin what I have with him. We started seeing eachother when we were both separated from our EX's, we actually dated 30 years ago in college. Maybe they think I was in the picture before that, but I wasn't. Yes, they do need to grow up, but how do you make them? It's such a crappy situation, I don't want this to get to me.

oldtimetouches's picture

I think he stands up for me, he says he does, but that doesn't change there minds. I also would never tell him he can't see his daughters, even though it makes me feel like crap being excluded. Unfortunately, they both live close to us, I hate it, I'd rather live near my own children, who don't live far, but about an hour from me, not 5 min. like they do. It may come down to insist we move, part of me wants to, but part of me doesn't, I love my house. This is all so sad, ughhhhhhh

oldtimetouches's picture

Honestly, I didn't ask him, but I assume he did. He even helped pay for my daughters wedding, that's just the kind of guy he is.

oldtimetouches's picture

LOL, I would have called her out on that in a minute, but he didn't. Yes we were married when she got married, before she made wedding plans, she told her Dad that she didn't want me there, and she would have just a very small wedding if that were the case. Honestly, I would have gone even if I was invited, but that's not the point. I din't even get the chance to decline. It hurts but as Dadwife posted, I am probably better off.

ldvilen's picture

Nasty. This is what gets me, as Super J said above: "Your narcissistic SD threatened to vaporize her wedding rather than have you there." That is some intense psycho babble from your SD, and it seems like the entire family just accepts this.

When you have someone that hyper controlling in the family and that manipulative and everyone else seems to just accept it, whether it be BM or SD or SS or a combination, you pretty much only have one choice, if you want to remain married to DH, and that is to have absolutely nothing to do with them period. Nothing to do with them, their kids, nada. Whenever DH is around her, he will automatically go back into his old family role of kissing her butt, and then acting like there is something wrong with you for not accepting this, when in reality, no one on this planet should be accepting this woman's behavior.

Cut her off. Now in reference to DH, decide what you expect from him. Are you okay with him just going off to her, her sister's and BM's family parties? No christenings, etc. for you. No baby showers for you. Nada. Just him going and not you, or leaving it up to him if he wants to go alone or not. Or, would you be offended with him just going? These are all things you are going to have to decide and take up with him and him alone. His attending or not is between you and him. You are husband and wife, after all.

For me, and this was my decision, but I certainly don't expect it to be every SM's decision, I will never be attending any event where BM (and her male friend) are at in the future. I clearly saw at his daughter's wedding that whenever hubby gets around BM and the kids, he automatically falls into being BM's husband again, and will follow her around like a little puppy, doing her bidding, and ignoring and not knowing what to do with me. This is after being married to DH for over 10 years too. I want no part of this.

After several discussions (nice way of putting it), I came up with something that might be called a quasi-disengagement? DH, for now, is okay with this.

I told DH he can go alone to these events if he wants, but I will never be attending anything with BM again, and yes, that includes anything to do with SGKs, whatever. You name it. Since DH is more or less terrified of her, this is actually a punishment. He gets to go into the viper's den alone, and was basically so terrified of going to his son's wedding alone, that he copped out of it.

But, I know he will go to events in the future. I do want him and his kids and grandkids to have some kind of relationship. It won't be anywhere near the relationship he could of had with them if I was at least treated as DH's wife, but it is what it is at this point, and I have let it go, and at the end of the day what relationships they have will be due to their choices and their choices alone.

P.S. Re: getting together with adult stepkids and just DH and I, I'm fine with that. As long as all continue to play nice.

oldtimetouches's picture

I agree! When there are family gatherings, if they are there, they ignore me. My husband splits his time between them and me. It's so uncomfortable. On the holidays, they don't go because I'm there, so they either stay with there mother, or now that the older one is married, to her in-laws. Am I OK with him going to parties that she will eventually have for the baby alone? No, but looks like the the only choice I will have is to fight with him about it or keep the peace and tell him to go, I will not be invited to anything that she will have for her, here child, or husband, and the same goes for her sister, I have 2 she-devils. His family is so upset about all this, but they wouldn't say a word, I guess they feel it's non of their business. I'm even debating about going to my mother in law Christmas eve, they won't be there (cause I will), but that's the night she will be telling the entire family that she is having a baby. I don't think I want to be there when they congratulate my husband, and make a big deal over it. I am not happy and don't want to pretend to be

notarelative's picture

Maybe they think I was in the picture before, but I wasn't

Know this story well. My step son in law told his mom that I was the other woman because 30 years earlier my first husband and I, and my current husband and his ex wife, were on the same league (with about sixty other people). We didn't date until a mutual friend brought us together after my spouse and his ex were dead.
But somehow I am the other woman.

When YSD got married DH paid and while they didn't really want me at the ceremony or reception they didn't say it because they wanted DH to pay for the ceremony and knew he wouldn't if I were excluded.
What I was excluded from was viewing the picture taking as they wanted "only members of the wedding party there".
And step mother is not part of the wedding party.

We do get invited once or twice a year to things for the grand kids. Things that all the other kids have relatives at, but not birthdays as those are for "family" only and DH won't go without me.

I am lucky in that DH while he loves his daughters will not let them control him. He says they are adults and he plans to live the rest of his life on his terms and they are not going to control him. While he says this, and I know that he means it, I also know that the stepdaughters' behavior hurts him.

Miss T's picture

Big rites of social passage should be attended by couples, period. That most emphatically includes weddings. Anyone who fails to invite both parties of a couple to these events has just fallen out of a tree, and needs to use their long, simian arms to climb right back up where they belong.

My SS and/or his BM pulled this "no invite" thing on me for his HS and college graduations; in fact, they specifically disinvited me--after I'd contributed a goodly amount of money to keep DH afloat while he was paying for SS's expensive education. In other words, after I'd helped pay for the little creep to go to school. DH failed to stand up to this tribe of barbarians on both occasions.

Except for DH, who has since earned a provisional pass, these people are dead to me now.

Miss T's picture

"It would be nice, I'm sure, if he told them he won't attend things if you're not invited, and I personally think he should, but why on earth expect he would do that?"

Because he should?

And perhaps expect steps (or anyone) to invite even disliked others to milestone events because they should?

Just a thought.

ldvilen's picture

That's what happens in a society where children can do no wrong and they run/parent the family rather than the parents parenting them.

I agree, for most of us over age 30, we'd never even think of going against our father's wishes. If dad got remarried, even to a ho, we'd dress up and show up and invite them both to the wedding, parties, etc., you name it, as husband and wife, and even make attempts to like the woman, because we instinctively knew that dad was in charge and we would never want to cross him.

Nowadays, it's all about kids (and people are pretty much children these days until they are 30 or so), sticking it to others, flaunting themselves, kicking butt, and that even includes going after your own parents and 'teaching them a lesson,' and the parents let them get away with it, unfortunately. In reality, everyone should be telling these types of adult children to all go to Hell (and enjoy the trip).

sammigirl's picture

THANK YOU for this post! This is exactly what I have tried to get across to my DH, concerning SD56.

SD has absolutely no class or manners.

Stepdrama11's picture

There is a difference between disengagement and relational aggression, boundary crossing, and just plain bad manners and lack of adherence to the golden rule. "Hey Dadddeeeee come celebrate my wedding, be nice to my partner, and leave your partner home" is the latter, not simple disengagement.

Disengagement would be the lack of any close relationship, which would include the ability to be polite and respectful without necessarily needing to be involved in someone's life. It would not include attempts to split SD and her selected partner, overt rudeness, social exclusion, threats, etc.

OP is willing to disengage. SD is engaging in relational aggression, not treating others the way she expects to be treated, and expects that what she wants will determine the way her father treats his wife.

DH is out of order, as is his DD. His DD is blowing holes in OP's marital boundary, and her DH is allowing it.

KatieM's picture

In trying to understand and define the dynamics of the situation, I have to agree with Stepdrama11. This is not SD disengagement, but really more of an opportunity not only to exclude the SM, but also to disrespect the marriage/relationship between DH and his wife, SM.

My SS purposefully excluded me from his graduation ceremony, and DH refused to go without me. SS's plan backfired on him, and he carries the emotional scars to this day. Sad, but SS brought it upon himself; he was warned ahead of time. I suspect BM had something to do with it. Too bad SS is still blaming us.

SD saw this and learned. I was invited to her graduation ceremony, and we held a graduation party for her, to which BM and SS were invited.

ItsGrowingOld's picture

Sue, your logic is weak on the a SD disengagement being fair and equal to a SM's disengagement. You are assuming the SD is disengaged from her SM? I don't see that connection at all. I see the SD as intentionally excluding the SM to hurt her.

I would have never ever disengaged from my DH's daughters if BM would not have trained them to hate and disrespect me and DH and our home. I didn't disengage because I hated his daughters or felt threatened by them, I disengaged because of rotten behavior and a level of meanness from otherwise bright girls that used to like me! My DH didn't even like being around them because their horrible behavior reminded him of his ex.

Disengagement is a way to protect our sanity and well being from others that may wish to cause us harm.

Acratopotes's picture

ASk your self this - why did you marry him, to spend time with his adult children or because you love him?

YEah we know the answer and so do you, Hon they are all adults, they have the right to choose who they want in their house and whom not, just as you have the right to choose, these SD's are not your children, their off springs are not your family.... that's the facts.

Allow DH to have a relationship with his brat and their off springs, but make it clear... Things like Christmas, Easter, Thanks Giving or any other major holiday his birthday, your birthday- you 2 will spend together as a couple, there will be no separate holidays, he can go to his family earlier e.g the 22nd but he will be back the 24th to enjoy Christmas with you....

Weddings - seeing you did not plan on going, why worry he can go on his own, that only gives you more power why the SD's can't come to your house, who cares about the grand babies.... SD's can come to your town and stay in a hotel and DH can visit them, your house is off limits....

Disengage from these cows Hon, they are nothing to you and they do not even deserve head space.... block them on FB, never stalk them on FB - they mean nothing to you, they are the strangers you walk past in shops...

oldtimetouches's picture

Thanks so much, your words really did make me feel better. We do spend all holidays together, and he does spend time with the girls as well, he sees them after our plans or before. I guess its just a hard thing to feel you're hated, I never had to deal with that before. I just hope his daughter doesn't use the kid to make him feel bad, I guess that's my fear right now.

Acratopotes's picture

oldtimes - we can not like every one crossing our paths, it's a human thing, simply accept it that 2 people in the world do not like you and well honestly you do not like then much either, this does not mean you should be rude to them.

As long as your husband stands by you, you remain disengaged.... one day SD will have to explain why she used her baby to emotional blackmailing her father.....

And DH can see the grand baby when he visits them..... will SD refuse DH seeing the baby at all, lock the baby up in a room when DH visits? I don't think so,

You have nothing to feel bad about,

JLRB's picture

The problem, Dancing, is that too often adult SD's still think they're central in their father's lives and really resent the fact that Dad has someone else to share his life with. Oldtimetouches, I am shocked that your SD would not only not invite you to her wedding (that's just plain mean!), but that your DH would actually go without you. She drew a line in the sand and your DH crossed it showing her she will get her own way when it comes to anything to do with you. He should've called her bluff and said he wouldn't attend her wedding without you.

I totally agree with Stepdrama that disengagement and just plain bad manners and rudeness are two separate things. I don't have a relationship with my adult, married SD. She's been rude and indifferent to me since the day she met me. She was so upset when DH and I married nearly 3 years ago. Thankfully she was already married before DH and I met. I wonder if I would've been excluded from her wedding!

oldtimetouches's picture

Hi JLRB, it would have killed him to miss his daughters wedding, I mean KILL. I feel bad for him, and I never want him to ever have to make a choice between them and me. The both girls are horrible humans. In fact, every year the older one sends a christmas card to our home addressed only to him, this year I just tossed it as soon as it arrived. If she wants to send him a Christmas card or any holiday card, let it go to his office. Rude piece of crap!!!!! My SD cried when my husband told her we were getting married, even though we hd been engaged and living together for years. I guess she was hoping, it wouldn't actually happen. I dread Christmas Eve, they won't be there, but his whole family will be talking about that kid on the way, ugh, what a pain.

Stepdrama11's picture

Agree I never want him to have to make a choice. Here is the question though.

If the way a DH treats his wife depends on what his DD wants, is that really a marriage? Especially if DD has made it clear that she wants wife gone, there has been a gradual increase in the level of demand DD is placing on DH, there's no apparent limit to what DH will agree to. At what point does it just become a relationship between DD and DH, and wife's participation becomes at DD's discretion? I believe that's called a triangle.

oldtimetouches's picture

Right now, and I hope for the rest of our lives, that so far has not happened. They had made it clear years ago that they wouldn't attend any family things if I was there, he told them that it was their choice if they wanted to come or not, but I was going. Just recently they did come to a family birthday party even though I was there, they just ignored me, which is fine. It's her things, her wedding, her birthday, graduation etc., that she refuses to let me attend, so I try not get get upset and tell him to enjoy himself. But, it still sucks being cut out of a large chunk of his life, especially now that a baby is on the way. Sad

ItsGrowingOld's picture

Oldtimetouches, your DH should have called her when he got the very first holiday card when you were married that was only addressed to him and said "If you cannot respectfully address me and my wife when you send a holiday card, then don't send a holiday card." DH's stepdad believed deeply in the institution of marriage and that it is to be respected. He taught his son a very valuable lesson by doing that.

That's what DH's stepdad did when his youngest son sent a Christmas card addressed only to Dad after they married. He said exactly what I quoted above. His son never did that again. And to this day, DH's mom and her stepson have a really good relationship.

CANYOUHELP's picture

I understand about the card thing, they used to send one just to him; that did not bother me so now they stopped sending any Christmas cards to our home. I really do not need to see another pic of the 6 year old dressed up like a skank anyhoooo. The whole thing is a silly power struggle, if you stop and think about it...

JLRB's picture

Oldtime, my SD was upset when DH told her we were getting married. He called her on the phone to tell her. She went silent, then said she had to go. She never once asked us about our wedding plans and at one point, asked her father "what time is that thing"? When DH told her we were going ring shopping, she acted surprised that he'd be wearing a ring! She continues to send him a mushy Valentine's Day card each year signed from just her. She doesn't include her 3 year old daughter's name on the card. It would be cute getting a card from the granddaughter, but a grown woman? In fact, the year we got married, she complained to her brother that Dad didn't send her a Valentine's Card that year, even though she was acting pissy about our upcoming wedding.

I understand that it would've been hard for him to miss his daughter's wedding, but how dare she give him that ultimatum.

We were both excluded from my SD's baby shower a few years ago, even though other male relatives (brothers and cousins) were there. She told her father that they were planning a small shower at her house. It turned out to be 60 people. She could've said for us to stop by, but she didn't. Just wait for the non-stop texted pictures of the grandchild! I hate the sound of his phone when a text arrives.

For the life of me, I don't understand the behavior of these grown women. They claim to love their fathers and want them to be happy, but then shun the person that is making them happy. They don't understand that they would see more of their fathers if they only treated us with a little respect. I certainly don't encourage visits to her house.

Stepdrama11's picture

JLRB your last paragraph really hits the nail on the head. "I love you Daddy but..." makes no sense.

My SD was at our wedding. Trouble didn't start (that I was aware of, anyways) until ten years in. Not sure if it's easier or harder when the issues are clear from the start, or if it's just awful either way.

Also hard to believe and kind of sad that the same issues are so common.

oldtimetouches's picture

Great post! My husband sees a lot of his girls, they only live 5 min., away. On the weekends he's up early, I'm not, I like to sleep. He either meets them at the gym, or they go for breakfast. My feeling is, is that he makes it easy for them to hate me sometimes. I told him last year to tell his daughter to please mail her Christmas card to his office, unless she wants to address it to me as well, I guess he didn't because a few days ago the card was in my mailbox. It went from there right into the garbage can. So disrespectful, and hurtful. I just dread this baby coming, what a horrible thing to feel. ugh. BTW, I'm not looking forward to the baby pic. texts, I also hate that sound, it's always them texting him.

Stepdrama11's picture

Wow OldTime I know exactly what you mean about the sound of a text coming in...if I hear the chimes or ringtone from Facetime in a store, my knees buckle, I feel sick to my stomach, and have to fight off a panic attack.

And...when SD decided it was time for our marriage to end, her baby was about 3 years old, I had been Grandma to the baby since she announced her pregnancy, and of course she terminated the grandma gig as well. Super painful.

oldtimetouches's picture

I know for a fact that I will never see that kid, and that's fine with me, I have my own children and hopefully soon, my own grandchildren. I'm just so nervous now that this will cause big problems. I don't know if I can just keep my mouth shut all the time. Time will tell Wink

notasm3's picture

I do not give shit if SS30 or his spawn is dead or alive. Sorry if that offends some of you.

I do not wish them dead, but I truly am indifferent as to their very existence.

DH is free to go visit with SS and spawn - but count me out. I do not care any more about their existence than any stranger across the globe.

CANYOUHELP's picture

I fully understand notasm3, they are dead , nonexistant to me. Nothing...no feelings at all. I do not hate them, I do not care enough to hate them, actually. I am not emotionally connected enough with them to even care now. I do not wish them any harm nor happiness, I wish nothing of them.

Mine is free to visit anywhere and anytime, just not with me present or in my house. I would have welcomed their visits had they been respectful to me in my own home but they made it clear that coming to my house meant putting me in my place, so to speak. And, daddeee could have done something about it from the first time, but decided to keep his mouth shut as the insults continued to grow.

No more, no more emotion, no more mess.

I am certain you wish it had worked out differently, just as I; but you have to realize the situation is hopeless, in order to start finding peace with yourself.

still learning's picture

When/if ss31 ever gets married (there have been several close calls), I will be busy with some urgent family or work matter. I'm sure I'll be invited for show because DH will insist, but there is no way I will attend just to be ignored and pelted with rude comments. Almost every exchange I've had with ss31 for the last 4 years has been negative, even if I've chosen to avoid him he's sought me out to get in a nasty jab.

DH and I are not joined at the hip so he is free to do whatever he wants w/skids. Sadly it hasn't been much of an issue since they are just too busy to make any time for him, unless it's gift grab or loan time.

Facebook is truly the }:) when it comes to step relationships. When I still had an account skids, who "friended" me, were constantly posting pics of BM. "Oh doesn't BM look great going out on a date tonight." "Look what BM got for the grands." It was ridiculous so I unsubscribed from their posts. Still I saw their comments on DH's posts and crap they would tag him in. Due to their crap and my own family drama that had cropped up at the same time I totally ditched Facebook. It's amazing how little drama there is in my life now. They most important people are still in my life while all of those Fakebook friends have faded away. SDIL did ask why I dont have FB anymore and I told her "less drama."

Stepdrama11's picture

The important thing is that DH insists that you are invited. Still not as good as having DH insist on SKs behaving like, well, well-behaved kindergartners, but definitely miles ahead of DHs who isolate their wives because that is what SKs want them to do.

JLRB's picture

I agree, Stepdrama. If DH allows his wife to be excluded from family events, the skids win. They need to accept the fact that Dad has remarried and his wife comes first and they are to be accepted as a couple. I don't know what gives them the right to dictate to their fathers who they should spend the rest of their lives with.

oldtimetouches's picture

Hi, but what do you do if they don't accept the fact? Cut them off? Never see them again? I wish it were that easy. I don't think my husband is capable of giving them an ultimatum, he would be terrified of the
outcome. It would really kill him not to see his kids, he'd be miserable.

Stepdrama11's picture

IDK OldTime.

If DH says "I'm going to visit DD and her partner, and I'm going without MY wife, because my DD wants me to, and what DD wants determines how I treat my wife" -

Is that really a marriage, or is it a relationship between DH and SD, and your participation is at SD's discretion? Because where's the boundary?

still learning's picture

My DH may insist that I'm invited to "family" events even if I decide not to go but he is no saint on the matter. Sorry if I made it sound like he's perfect and always has my back. Ha! Recently his exFIL had a birthday bash and DH was invited, I wasn't. DH took off like a bat out of hell w/out a second thought for me. I made sure to go out that day and evening, he got home late afternoon and called wondering where I was. I really didn't want to speak to him so didn't pick up. I got home before 9 pm, had a great day/evening doing what I wanted. Passive aggressive payback, yup. Effective, well it got him wondering what I was up to without him while he was on a date w/BM and her family. He then spent 2 days trying to make it up to me by groveling and being uber clingy.

Bottom line is that I won't sit around and pine or wait for DH. If he chooses something or someone over me then I'm out the door.

JLRB's picture

It's a tough situation, OldTime, but I know I know if my kids invited me for events and purposely excluded my husband, I'd say something to them and would not attend. I agree with you Stepdrama. It sounds like SD is making the rules for her father and his wife's relationship. I wonder what SD would think if DH invited just her to an event telling her that her husband was not welcome. She'd then know how it felt.

oldtimetouches's picture

It's so funny you said that about not inviting SD's husband, I have said that to my husband before. I don't look at it as "her" rules for some reason, because in other situations he does put his foot down. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, we are together, as with other major holidays, it's their choice if they want to attend, and they don't. He would never tell me not to go because the girls want to come. My kids would never get away with that shit, but, I also know that I wouldn't want to lose my children if push came to shove. His kids are horrible, and I think he knows it. I also do not sit around when he is with them, but it does make me feel awful. I guess I want him to fix this, and he can't. I just hate them :sick:

Rags's picture

:jawdrop: I have a suggestion. Set up a consultation between your DH and a lawyer to investigate suing his spawn to get custody of his balls back. smh

TwirlMS's picture

My stepkids at least know they can't exclude me from family events but my SD36 does make it clear to me that when she wants to see her dad, I am not included all other times. She asks him to come over with the pretense of doing handyman "work" around her house. When he gets there, it's some minor thing that takes a couple minutes and then they go out to lunch and go shopping together all over town instead and it becomes an all day and all night thing that includes lunch and dinner, just the two of them.

A week ago she called on the car speaker phone and asked DH to drop everything and immediately come over to hang a couple of shelves at her house. When DH said no because we are frantically getting our house ready for final approval to move in by New Years, there was a long silence on the phone and then she hung up on him. At her age this pouty childishness behavior is pretty shocking. Her behavior embarrasses DH and he always warns her that she is on speaker phone in the car. Afraid of what she might say.

still learning's picture

What's more shocking is these fathers that enable pouty childish behavior in their adult children. Daddy can give her the number of a good (and good looking) handyman and be done with this nonsense.

TwirlMS's picture

LOL. That would be at the top of my wish list. A boyfriend for SD.

When she was married, she never had an interest in daddy/daughter dates, so why start now? There is a lot more to it than just a yearning to see daddy all of a sudden. It's some kind of jealousy thing that motivates her . It's always her idea, never his and then she makes dinner so he feels obligated to stay later.

oldtimetouches's picture

You are all 100% right, I don't know why these fathers are so afraid of their children

notasm3's picture

DH would so love for me to embrace SS30, his GF and the baby. Again I do not hate them. I just have no use for them.

The GF's parents are divorced. Her father left her mother for the woman he was cheating with. Lots and lots of bad feelings there. I've not met any of them, but her dad sounds like an ass.

He cheated on wife #1, left her with two kids, married the other woman, cheated on her, divorced and married wife #3. Then he cheated with wife #2 while married to wife #3. So they divorced and he remarried wife #2.

I don't think GF has any use for her SM. And some of that has rubbed off on how she feels about me. Even though I didn't meet DH until decades after his divorce from BM.

DH mentioned that I should go see the house that the GF bought over a year ago. To which I said "I've never been invited." He was insisting that I just stop by sometime. Sure. I was not invited to any baby showers, DH goes over for dinner every few weeks, he went to baby's first birthday party Saturday. I am out of town - but I wasn't invited anyway.

They don't want me around. And I don't want to be around them. Everybody is happy except DH.

oldtimetouches's picture

Happy Holidays guys!!! Wishing you all health, happiness and please, some PEACE!!! You all are life savers.

xoxoxoxoxox