She is trying to manuipulate every situation using the children.........HELP!
So, this is my first post. Please bear with me......
My SO and I are getting married in 2 weeks!! Should be a pretty happy time in my life, right? But BM is doing everything in her power to ruin my day. Here is the latest....
Last night my SO spoke with one of his daughters on the phone, and she asked permission to go to a birthday party this Sunday, which is during our visit weekend. He told her probably not, but we would see, because we have a lot going on, such as my grandmother's 80th bday, my mom coming in town to take all 3 SD and me wedding shoe shopping, getting my oldest SD fitted for her bridesmaid gown, etc., etc. Clearly, we just have a lot going on, and getting her to a 2 hour birthday party may not be possible.
So, on the weekend of my wedding, our visitation with SD starts at 7pm on Friday, but we have asked for months now to get them early so that we can finish fittings, then have the girls at the rehersal and rehersal dinner. At first we asked for all day, to which BM said that SD getting pampered for my wedding was NOT a reason to take them out of school. So, we changed plans, and are only asking for them 4 hours early, at 3pm, which is after they get out of school.
Here is the fun part. BM got on the phone with my SO last night, and told him that we could only get the girls early if we agreed to HER compromise (we have changed things for her so many times in the past, it isn't funny). She told SO that if he got SD to her friend's b-day party on Sunday, we could have them early the Friday before my wedding. She wouldn't even listen to all of the plans that we have on Sunday, and she isn't taking into count the fact that the girls desprately want to be at the rehersal, since all 3 of them are supposed to be in the wedding.
I am so angry, hurt, torn, etc. right now. I do not want to give into this woman, because we already told SD how it would be, but I also don't want the girls to miss the rehersal. Any advice would really be appreciated right now.....
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In future do not tell BM ANY
In future do not tell BM ANY of your plans, I learnt the hard way, she will try to sabotage them and furthermore no need to tell the kids either, just tell them they need to be at your house at such and such a time, they do not need details.
I am so sorry this woman is trying to get her own way, it is pathetic but sadly this is what these women do it is all about power and making their XH choose between you and his kids. Sad Sad Woman.
If it was me I would not contact her again and collect the kids after your rehersal dinner, let her see you will do as you please and she cannot interfere, ok the kids miss out and when they ask why. Tell them the truth, they will soon see what is going on.
Good Luck with your wedding
x
I agree with the above. Our
I agree with the above. Our BM tried to sabotage our wedding, and it was only that DH was really tough with her that she didn't succeed. Don't try and haggle with this woman - there is no reasoning with them, especially over something like your wedding which is bound to be a thorn in her side.
If the SDs are disappointed, it is only their mother who has caused this.
i would tell her that if she
i would tell her that if she keeps interfering that the girls unfortunately will not be able to be in the wedding and that dh will tell them exactly why.
I agree. If they miss out the
I agree. If they miss out the dinner so be it. And make sure they are aware the dinner is next Friday @ 7pm and their mother knows about it. In fact email her the time again so she cannot say 'no one told me'.
BM here tried to ruin TG the 2nd yr we were married. DH and BM amicably split the holiday about 3pm. We had a dinner planned for 4pm. They usually ate at 11pm and were at BMs paretns town. After dinner instead of getting the boys back in time she decided to go shopping with her mother and left Podunkville @ 5pm for the 2 hr drive home. She also sent in leftovers... "in case we don't have enough food".
DH read her the riot act over that one. She responded that this was according to the CO HER holiday. So DH said "OK, So Christmas is mine? All day?" She never tried that stunt again.
I appreciate your willingness
I appreciate your willingness to take the flame! lol! I know that SD10 does want to go to the party. I spoke with her last night about it. The thing is, we already have plans for this weekend that have been made for months. I have to take SD 14 to get her bridesmaid dress fitted, my mother is coming in town from 2 1/2 hours away to take all 3 SDs and me wedding shoe shopping, and to top it off, it is my grandmother's 80th birthday party. I'm sure that this will most likely be my grandmother's last party, and I think it is only right for all of us to be there. Especially since we rsvp'd well over 6 weeks ago.
It's just such a hassle about everything.
I was thinking SD went home
I was thinking SD went home to BM and had a fit that she couldn't go to the party or even just cried or was mopey about it and that is why BM is playing games about you picking the SD's up early. She thinks she will blackmail you into letting SD go to the party and she is the hero. (or at the least she fixed her babies broken heart). My SS9 gets mopey and cries worse than a girl about getting denied even when you talk to him about it and he says it was correct for him to be told no. Then he goes to the grandparents and acting upset and they make it up to him. You know how those poor kids are, their parents are divorced and they should get everything to make up for it.