Papers say 50/50... But its us m-f, he gets her Fri night to sun morning, Nana Sunday night.
This chat they had was after she screamed at me in the drive way about how I need to shut up and start listening to her (the sd) BC I'm not in the family anyways.
She was just told to go in and start getting ready for bed, her mother and I wee unloading the car. She ignored the directions (as usual) and I just repeated them with "(name), do as you are told and go in.".... Nothing at all came out my wife's mouth. She just stood there silent.

You are wrong in this case... My wife just informed me she is taking sd and leaving for a few days to see if she wants to stay with me or not.
She said she told me from the start not tonmake her choose. It was sd that makes her choose. I been trying to disengage, but when a eight year old screams at you in your own house, its hard to ignore. (Though she does it just fine)

Completely lost right now.

Wife and I had a chat in bed... We will see if things change. She says "you obviously weren't ready for us" all the time. I think they weren't ready for me. Wife is a control freak (I knew that for decades)... Sd is worse, tyrant, even. Problem is wife has so much guilt over sd that she won't be a leader.
I, however, have no problem upsetting a child if they need it. ( bedtime is now not later, yes you need a bath, you will eat what is served sort of things)

I'm so lost.

My wife and I were together before her marriage to the ex.... Being both female and her being raised Baptist, she was shunned... Put a strain on us, we broke up. She did what she was told and married the first man who proposed. He beat her, drank too much, quit jobs constantly. Ect ect. She divorces him.
Flash forward, she and I stayed in touch all the years. She was the one who got away fornme. THAT is why I put up with sd. Some people stay married for the kids... I'm trying to stay married for when sd leaves.
My relationship with my wife is Hollywood perfect when sd isn't around. Sd comes and we might have a nice day here or there but overall the brat wants me gone and wife has so much guilt over making her with an ass that she bends. then wife has guilt over leaving me for her parents happiness that she feels torn.
I'm well aware the issue is mainly in my wife not dealing. She is the type to ignore unhappy things. I can't get her to snapnout of it. In her defense, she was raised a bit messed up herself... Her mother has serious mental issues and her father is like her. Ignores bad and keeps on rolling with the good.

Piss poor parent, yes. That I won't dispute. More interested in being friends than parent and child.