how much is too much
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adult sd moved to antoher state to take a new job.
she calls or texts her father at least once or twice every day. every...darn....day.
she moved a year ago. hasnt she found any friends her own ages to hang around with? when I was in my twenties and living on my own i called my parents once a week.
what gives?
Count yourself lucky there is
Count yourself lucky there is only one sd.
I have to contend with 3sd plus his parents phonig and txting all day long...... they are a close family apparently!!!
My DH texts or talks to his
My DH texts or talks to his boys every day. Not that big of a deal. Is it taking away time with you?
I myself talk, text or email my mother every day as well. I dread the day when I can't!
We each have our own lives as
We each have our own lives as well. It's mostly text and email since we are both working on computers all day and could be just a simple good morning but yes, really! I'm just one of "those" I guess LOL
sd is still on the tit. she
sd is still on the tit. she needs to find friends her own age.
This went to the wrong
This went to the wrong thread....weird.
I don't think there is
I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I talk to my mom every day. I also talk to my DD every day. No big deal.
I talk to my Mom every day
I talk to my Mom every day and my sister every other day or so - and I have done so my whole life. And I have always had friends my own age. Doesn't bother DH in the least.
Wow. Sometimes this site is
Wow.
Sometimes this site is so full of contradictions.
Those damn ungrateful skids, they Never call unless they want something.
Those damn annoying skids, they call every day, all day!
Seriously, his daughter loves him and wants to talk to him. Get over it.
When I visit my 22 year old,
When I visit my 22 year old, I cuddle with her, we go out without her hubby, we act silly and just have fun. Her husband lets us have our time together. We talk on the phone a lot. We want to be in each other lives. Family is forever!
Stay out of them having a beautiful relationship.
My daughter is a very serious
My daughter is a very serious scientist. Just got back from London working with the Bill and Melinda Gates Malaria Conference. Thank god she knows how to let loose when with family. We go to wineries, arms linked and laughing our asses off. Life is to be lived with joy! Work hard and play harder! And yes, my silly daughter is also working on curing cancer. That's her full time job.
Awwwwwwww....thanks. She
Awwwwwwww....thanks. She really is remarkable.
^^ Exactly ^^ I lost my dad,
I feel sorry for your
I feel sorry for your kids.
They will the ones who grow up and tell their friends they wish they had a close relationship with their parents and/or siblings.
I have a coworker who always comments on how close my mom, sister and I are. She constantly says she wishes her family were that way as well. Fortunately for her children, she isn't following her mother's ways.
There is no right answer,
There is no right answer, it's different for everybody.
There are periods of time that DH will talk to SD24 everyday, I couldn't care less. As long as she's not asking (or hinting) for money or to move in, more power to them both.
To be honest, it would be
To be honest, it would be nice if H and skid spoke more often. They text from time to time. I think they got into the habit of only speaking when skid needed something. They should break that habit and talk once a week. Or more.
By the way....H's kid is SD20. She lives on the mainland and we live in HI. They REALLY need to talk more often.
Stepmeanie, it sounds like
Stepmeanie, it sounds like you are jealous of the communication these people have with their loved ones. I can't think of another reason for you to repeatedly put them down for talking to their loved ones.
My dh would talk to his mom
My dh would talk to his mom daily. Which I didn't mind if she weren't always trying to talk him into splurging on the skids (main reason he was a Disney dad) or do something different than what he and I decided as a couple. She interfered too much and he was and still is a mommas boy. Sometimes I know the words he says to me are the exact words she says to him. Now I just blow it off cause I know I'll deal with whatever comes up at that time. I guess it depends on if he's making plans with her that affect you instead of you his wife or just keeping in touch.
you said it: enmeshment my
you said it: enmeshment
my brother is inseparable from his son who is almost 30. son never dates and stays at home playing video games all day and does not work. its the games or playing with his rock band. in college he only takes music classes.
brother had not dated since son was born and the mother of boy was a drug addict. the mother never saw her son after he was a few years old.
to sum up: my brother is married to his son. they are enmeshed.
enmeshment does not help anyone.
she calls any time, all the
she calls any time, all the time, even when we are doing "it." so yes the calls are too frequent.
and the sd is now living with a boyfriend and still calls her father several times a day.
enmeshment does no one favours. it leaves children attached to their parents and unable to have healthy adult relationships.
This is very true and why I
This is very true and why I said it's different for everyone. If talking to someone often, makes one bitter, or resentful, or upset, what good is that?
I love my dad and we can talk for hours about everything BUT if I talked to him everyday, well, I just don't think it would work because sometimes he can fall into that lecturing mode, like I'm still 12. With some people, there does need to be a balance or it can turn the relationship sour.
My friend has always talked to her mom everyday, or almost, but she complains about her a lot because her mom can be very overbearing and bossy. I told her that if she would get along better with her mom by not talking to her so much, there's nothing wrong with that, it might be better for the relationship overall.
My DH's saying when it comes to his family is, "they are best loved from afar". Sometimes it is what it is.
i used to call my dad/mom
i used to call my dad/mom every couple of weeks or so. my bio-mom i'll email her every few months.
it's personality-based. up until i got married i used to even hold my dad's hand. but other than that our family is just not physically affectionate or in that much need of constant contact. that's just the way we are.
on my g-mom's side, she'll talk to her kids almost daily. two live nearby to her, two live 8+ hrs away. when she lived in one uncle's basement apartment, he would come downstairs every evening and spend an hour or so with her. that's just they way they are.
i dont think there's a 'too much' or 'too little' unless A.)one party is uncomfortable with it, or B.) it's for NEGATIVE reasons (enmeshment, emotional over-dependency, always asking for money, etc.)
in OP's case, it sounds like it's emotional codependency. her dh is not helping sd....
"in OP's case, it sounds like
"in OP's case, it sounds like it's emotional codependency. her dh is not helping sd...."
^^this is true.