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lovesick sighs

SugarSpice's picture

Submitted by SugarSpice on Mon, 10/12/2015 - 2:56pm

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Adult Stepchildren

when dh has his day off and i am working, he will take the sports car down to where his adult daughter works. she works as a barista at a coffee shop. he drops in unannounced to "stop in." the company manager knows the dh now.

this must look pretty awkward when the father stops in and orders coffee and a bun and just hangs out. he also knows the young man that the sd is dating.

wouldnt you say this father is overinvolved with his daughter? the feelings are mutual as all of the skids call every day and text him multiple times a day. they all have their hands out for money too as the bm is dirt poor.

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Mon, 10/12/2015 - 3:05pm

I would not let it bother you too much. And I will admit...I did this also.

My kids worked as servers/bartenders for a nice restaurant as they put themselves through college. I would stop in every now and then. Heck...my mom and dad would stop in and say hi to them too.

Now the hand outs for money would get my goat.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Submitted by WTF...REALLY on Mon, 10/12/2015 - 3:08pm

Sounds like he loves his kids. I would visit my adult children regularly if they lived near me. I raised them to be awesome, so of course I would to spend time with some awesome people. Biggrin

notsobad's picture

Submitted by notsobad on Mon, 10/12/2015 - 4:36pm

I thinks its fine that he goes and spends time there. It would be a problem if he was doing when you were home and he was choosing to go hang out at her work instead of hanging out with you at home.

My SD is super lovey dovey with her BM on social media. I love you sooooo much Mom, #loveofmylife, #mywholeworld. I find it very odd but lots of people are like this with their Moms. It doesn't hurt anything I just personally find it kinda gross. And that is probably coloured because I dislike BM so much.

notarelative's picture

Submitted by notarelative on Mon, 10/12/2015 - 6:40pm

My bio kids would be very upset with me if I went to their workplace and hung out.

My youngest had a friend whose parents did this and he remarked that he thought it strange. He said that adults do not have their parents visiting them at work. Adults are capable of working by themselves without parent supervision.

Personally I'd never do it. My child needed to manage his work by himself. If he asks my advice he'll get it, but I won't offer unsolicited advice or visit him at work.

lintini's picture

Submitted by lintini on Mon, 10/12/2015 - 6:57pm

I worked as a barista for 6 years and I liked it when my parents or friends came to visit me, it made me feel really special.

I think you are taking it the wrong way though because I could maybe chat for a few minutes and wouldn't actually be able to spend any time with them unless it was my 10 minute break or 30min lunch. My store was pretty busy though so we didn't get much down time.

Several coworker's parents would stop in that lived around the neighborhood, they would sometimes bring us food or snacks and we in turn always knew their favorite beverages. I don't find it strange at all or awkward that a parent is visiting their fledged child at that particular type of work, it's quite common.

Maybe DH comes and gets his drink and snack, says hello and has a small chat and then sits down and relaxes and plays solitaire on his cellphone or something? I don't see it as overly involved, coffee shops have a nice atmosphere and he probably gets her discount.

sandye21's picture

Submitted by sandye21 on Mon, 10/12/2015 - 7:24pm

It depends on how SD feels about him dropping by. But then, that's between DH and her. I think I'd rather have him dropping by her place to see her while I was at work rather than her dropping by my home while I am away. That would mean I would have to clean up after her when I got home.