DH and BM are great at looking the other way
SD9 has been having urinary problems for 3 years now. BM took her to the DR and said it was bladder problem. Well 3 years later, she is still having the same issues. Bed wetting, peeing her pants, constant UTIs. Last year we found over a dozen pair of pee soaked underwear hidden in various spots all over her room. We grounded her for it and I hoped she would have learned her lesson, but nope, yesterday I found 5 pair hidden in the pouch of a stuffed animal and 1 in her jewelry box. She also had 2 UTIs this year. BM doesn't take her to Dr for these infections. She makes her drink Cranberry Juice, which
I think is dangerous because she needs the antibiotics in case the infection goes into her kidneys. I freaked out on DH yesterday because his response to finding the underwear was "I don't want to deal with it right now." That's how it always is SD9 has been having urinary problems for 3 years and neither of them want to deal with it. I would blame BM for not taking her to the DR, but I'm just as frustrated with my husband for not doing anything either.
Supposedly the DR BM brought her back to said a lot of it was behavioral. But DH still lets her sit on her butt on the computer and because she refuses to stop playing pees herself and then hides the underwear. Sitting in that mess can't be good. And did I mention she will do whatever it takes to avoid showering.
I am do frustrated but I feel like there's nothing I can do!
We had the exact same problem
We had the exact same problem with my SD. The reason I even found this website is because we found 15 pair of pee and poop stained underwear in SD11's room in Nov.
She stopped having UTI's after we (including BM) stopped allowing her to take baths about 3yrs ago. She still isn't allowed to take a bath, showers only.
I was at one point, making her stop whatever she was doing and go to the bathroom every 30 minutes. I didn't care if she said she had to go or not. She was sitting on that toilet. I thought that helped because we stopped seeing her walk around with wet pants and she stopped smelling like urine. Apparently she just got better at cleaning herself up and hiding the evidence.
I don't know the answer to this. We have punished SD over and over (not because she had an accident, but because she would just sit in it). I don't get it.
I have said this before on
I have said this before on this site...My late husband had issues like this, his kidneys failed when he was 14. His parents didn't deal with it right away, when they did, it was too late, the kidneys were gone. He ended up having three transplants and dying at 38. Get her to a doctor. There are a lot of tests they can do to see what it is.
If it is psychological, then I would go after the physical first and then a therapist. But, she probably needs that as well, given the psychological issues of "hiding" it.
The sad thing is when she
The sad thing is when she finally does get to a Nephrologist, they will act like they have been trying to help her all along or it is hereditary. None of it will be their fault by neglect. A lot of renal failure can be prevented...Poor kid. She needs an advocate.
DIAPERS!! Since the doc says
DIAPERS!! Since the doc says it is behavioral Put her in a big brutally obvious diaper and that is all she wears. My SS had a bed wetting issue when he was about 11. The doc said there were no medical issues. Once, fine. It is an accident. Twice ... DIAPER. We took all of his pants and shorts, put him in a diaper and that is what he wore. We did it on a Saturday AM and he was in a diaper all weekend. Of course he refused to leave the house. Every hour or so I would go the front door, open it, and tell SS to go out and play with his friends. For lunch we loaded him up and went out for lunch..... }:) We went to Sonic and did not make him get out of the car but it did amplify the tension for him notably.
On Monday AM he walked in for breakfast dressed in his school clothes with no diaper on. He handed us the package of remaining diapers, told us "I get it mom and dad. It won't happen again, and it hasn't.
I would suggest the diaper tactic and if necessary a spanking. For some reason a spanking seems to clear the connection between the brain and the bladder and the brain and the sphincter. It seems to do wonders for addressing waste control issues.
Good luck.
:sick: :sick: :sick:
Definitely call CPS. This is
Definitely call CPS. This is neglect. I don't know how engaged you are, but the physical well being of a child is at stake and her parents are failing her. She needs someone to speak for her. She must be in so much pain, mentally & physically, dealing with chronic UTI's and potty problems. Poor thing...it's at the point that she's probably just accepted that this is how things are for her. Someone needs to help her.