Hi Guys,

Just came across this site, thought i would join for some expert advice , i hope you can help.
I am 37 years of age , never had children of my own, never been married , and have been with my partner for over two and a half years, she has 4 children , but the youngest whom is 11 lives with us, the other 3 , 2 of whom is getting on with their lives whom, i must say, i am very proud of and the third is in jail for violence.

Recently my partner lost her father ( step father ) and was of a dear loss to the family, her half brother is still feeling the loss still, however, there has been a bit of a situation between himself and his partner.

This is not the first for them both to be the best enemies were violence has been passed both ways.
Recently another argument has equated, and my partner immediately, offered him to come and stay at our home, here is my situation, he has been in and out of jail for violence and not only possession of a class B Drugs but also for supply.
My partner never explains to me her intentions, its basically , " oh he might be coming down to stay for a week or so " Instantly , i go into panic mode, i explained to her that its not fair that she goes ahead with these plans without even talking to me about it, basically everyone , i am scared, i HATE the fact knowing cannabis would be in our home, never mind the awful smell, ( my opinion only guys, please do not be offended ) i work for the government, and again scares me that i will turn up for work smelling like cannabis, and the FACT we have a 11 year old little girl in the house, my partner explained to me he wouldn't smoke it in the house, be that's not the point surely ? Anyway, it turned into a huge argument , she is now down stairs while i am in my bed writing this, i am always to blame in her eyes , and told me that its her brother and i cant stop her , what the hell do i do guys ? do i really have to move out of my own home for the week ? i know some of you might ask have you spoken to her, the answer is yes, my partner has a BIG temper , and i had to learn the hard way, now i just stay out the way, even though more abuse will come from her.... thank you for your advice in advance, i have to be careful, the last time i joined and wanted advice on a forum like this, she checked the history on my laptop , saw the forum i was on and sabotaged my posts with crazy replies, and that is true as blue...