Dealing with physical violence/threats?
I'm hoping someone has some advice before it's needed but unfortuently, I do see it becoming needed. Has anyone, especially guys, ever dealt with actual physical violence or the threat of it off a teenager? What is the best way to handle it?
Normally, if it was when and where I grew up, we would step outside and settle it because no one would have been as stupid as this teenager is being. Threats against his mom (I'm going to choke you out), threats against me (beating me up, etc.); personally I'm not afraid of the kid and an ass whooping wouldn't be the worst thing but I know that's not the answer. Nor do I want to put his mom in the situation of fighting for custody and giving myself a criminal record. I think he is going to try something at an upcoming funeral just because he thinks he is tough and no one will do anything. I hate it as I never thought it would come to this, but the only solution I have is calling the cops at a memorial service and having him arrested right there on the spot. He's 15, and I really don't have a relationship with him (dating mom).
He knows if he ever lays a hand on her, she is calling the cops and I told her I would do the same.
send him to a jail for the
send him to a jail for the night. scare his ass straight.
if he hits you call cops
if he hits you call cops press charges send hiss ass to juvy,you may look like a total wus but in the end he will be locked up ,you wont,because if you hit him you will be prosecuted,and the system frowns on adults hitting kids ,but he sounds like he needs a ass whipping,if my ss decides he wants too rumble im going to say well lets go ,hope you feel like sitting in the slammer afterwards ,and im sure after that his ass will go too military school ,or that wilderness boot camp,which is where i think all trouble making rebellous teenagers should go!!!im thinking mine will end up in juvy before that ever happens ,because he is terrible ,and biomom has just about had it with him!!So i guess if he jumps you do enough to defend yourself so you can get away then call the cops immediatly!!!Also hopefully there will be a witness,so you will have them too back you,especially since its at a funeral,man this kid must be totally stupid too attack you in a public place,just play it cool let him make a ass of himself,
Whatever you do, you can not
Whatever you do, you can not get into a physical altercation with this kid. He is obviously hiding behind his tough-guy act. Have some compassion - I know I was a total JERK when I was a fifteen year old kid in the same situation. Do the two of you have anything in common? Find out! Throw a ball around with him, take him to the movies, help him with his homework. Let him know you care! You are the adult and he is the child!
Do you know any proper
Do you know any proper management of agressive behavior moves? Brush up on the baskethold in case he comes after you or your wife. At least it's a way to protect yourself without hurting him or hopefully even being considered the aggressor. I use it on SS all the time when he wants to play fight with me.
Also, keep the phone close and call the cops not if, but when it happens.
I'm hoping you'll take OldDart's advice though and make tracks before it does. You're in a lose, lose situation.
I can feel for you more than
I can feel for you more than most. I have an 18 y/o ss that thinks he's bad to the bone. I've heard the threats, and the bad attitude for several years now myself. I can agree that bailing out of this situation before it gets ugly might not be a bad thing. Best case is that you have years of threats and looking over your shoulders with this kid.
Worst case.......He takes a swing at you at some point, you simply defend defend yourself, and you wind up in MAJOR trouble. I can honestly say that if I had know what I was getting into years ago, .....I would not be living with all the attitude right now. If you can simply bail on things BEFORE they get too bad; you will probably be happier in the long run.