I don't want to give up, I need advice please

Forums:

I know this is not a marriage site, but I figured I could get some advice here. My problem is with just everything right now; marriage, SD, myself. I feel like all of my problems including those with my SD is my fault. My DH and I have a great relationship, we get along, make each other laugh, everything, but I can not find a job where we live and that is putting things on hold like having a baby, buying a house, buying a car.

I pretty much gave up my business when I moved to be with my DH. We live in a small town where most of the interviews I go on I'm told I'm over qualified, or I just don't get a call, or will have to go back to school to work for the state.

I'm not working and feel like I'm just not going to progress here, but we cant move because of my SD. My SD and I get along, but I'm at a point where I just don't want to be around her anymore. When she comes back from her moms my house becomes tense; my DH wants to just do nothing because he becomes stressed. She is 17 yo, and she and a I are sharing a car because she gave the one her mom gave her back because she doesn't want her mom to have control over her. She and I are annoyed with each other over the car, and she feels that her dad bought the car for her in the first place. when my DH bought the car we asked her if she was taking the one her mom gave her, and if so I was getting that one. She gave back the car without telling us while my DH and I was on vaca.

I'm starting to hate myself because I feel like me not working is whats causing all of this craziness. My husband is very supportive, tries to tell me to be positive, but I just don't know how right now.

I also feel like I'm living with two adult people who I must clean after, when I don't feel I should be cleaning after her. I can not use chemicals to clean so that's her job, but she never does it (she will bath in a dirty tub! I will go to the gym), not until my DH has to really blow up and then I feel bad because he works so hard, but she does not act like this at her mothers. She also has no schedule or just chooses not to listen so comes and goes as she wants. My DH and I never have alone time. (she has to announce herself before going to her moms though.)

I just don't know how to handle all of this. I will be 32 this summer and I just feel like I'm never going to have the life I want for myself. I feel stuck where I live, no growth potential. My SDs mom is doing great (she doesn't work, her husband makes about 200k a year, but does not help with SD). My husband is stressed a lot, and has a heart condition that he has to monitor (never had a problem, but we think about it more that he is turning 40).

When its just my DH and I, we are so happy, talking about the upcoming months, trips, planning for baby, etc. but when SD comes home, that happy feeling goes away. Then I'm back to thinking about how I'm not working, not growing, not succeeding.

I just feel like giving up, but I really don't want to!

Thank you! It's hard, I

Thank you! It's hard, I really don't have friends here, and I'm just turning to online to help me get through it all.

I have really bad asthma

I have really bad asthma since moving here, but when I clean I do user a mask. For me I just don't like that she a expects for me to do it all and she does nothing. She does not act like that at mother's I know because she has said it.

DH can afford it but we are also in a small 2br duplex. SD is with us fulltime, and we have all her expenses. I also know that my DH feels like since he had to take on the financial responsibility for my SD since she was 2 he does not want to do it all himself again. Her mother pays for nothing, just wants bragging rights.

Thanks, I have told my DH

Thanks, I have told my DH this, and all he says is that he does not know what to say to her. He says he has tried and he just don't know what else to do. He wants me to talk to her, and I keep telling him that does not work because she feels she can do as she pleases in our house, that's kind of the way they where before he says.

I am not a mean person and I try very hard not to be especially now as I am having a hard time right now. I have always done for myself, taken care of myself, and that's how my DH met me. I feel like I'm the cause of our problems because I am not contributing, but it's not like I don't want to.

My house is really to small for 3 people and a baby, I want to work, I have bills prior to marrying him. My SD situation is causing a problem between myself and both of them, and now the two of them and I feel bad. But I also know and feel that once he got married things changed as they should have, but she just has no respect for my DH or me (unless she needs something).

I'm about seconds away from become a bitch because I deserve better.