Emancipating an adult
So in a month or so, dh is going to start the process of unhooking two big parasites, his youngest 21 year old daughter and ex. That likely will be a costly and mind f$&@- ing process. The most likely scenario is that they will not agree and try to force DH to continue paying child (ahhhem) support as well as cosign, or pay outright for graduate school. I would say the prospect of them agreeing to emancipation upon college graduation in May is nil. The sad thing is dh finally has a few dollars in the bank earmarked for retirement, and likely a good chunk will go outright to lawyer fees. Not right.
Recently, Oldest daughter actually took back her first payment of a college loan dh cosigned years ago for her. Luckily it was only 5 k, but it hurts deeply when your adult children continue to stab you in the back. And she failed to return calls or texts. Dh has paid the first few payments now......and done nothing else.
So, I propose DH send email to his ex, requesting oldest daughter's address, and spell out he is weighing legal action, which is why he needs the address. She likely will ignore his request. And this will tie into youngest daughter's emancipation case if they demand he cosigns HER grad school loans. It will clearly show ex is not cooperative as well as daughters won't pay back loan.
Any advice or ideas?
In the end, he will be screwed over again, but it really is awful that all his retirement has been drained away. He has said he will sit in jail if they try to make him cosign another loan.
You'd think a reasonable
You'd think a reasonable judge would laugh and throw it out but in many divorce decrees a parent must continue to pay child support (directly to the child) up to age 21 if they are attending school. Then as OP stated pay at least half the costs of college.
It's amazing how there is so much more financial responsibility for divorced parents than ones who are married.
Someone mentioned a good lawyer, make that the BEST lawyer you can afford! Document EVERYTHING including her unwillingness to communicate and possible PAS syndrome instilled by her mother. Her grades, her partying (if she does, etc) What a sucky situation for your husband. It's a lose lose, no relationship with his daughter except through his wallet which will be much lighter soon.
These judges do not
These judges do not laugh.....big business for judges and lawyers.
Look, if they so much as refuse to agree to emancipation, that battle will cost tens of thousands. A court motion demanding dh pay for ONE cell phone cost 10k! So his ex and daughters have used the court system to attack him, each and every time. I think many of you know dh was actually sent a court motion on our wedding day by these women. They are cruel beyond belief and have no shame.
It is not so much getting her
It is not so much getting her address, but showing to court in a few months, that his ex is uncooperative and oldest daughter has not paid on cosigned loan. That has been in several court motions......to demand dh cosign college loans, and I am sure it will be demanded for grad school.
If they don't show that's
If they don't show that's good for DH. Either he will outright win or the judge will call for a continuance.
I believe they sued him.
I believe they sued him.
She is 21 and a STB
She is 21 and a STB university graduate. I would be shocked if a judge forced him to pay for grad school. Time to initiate and end to the CO. A 21yo does not need to be emancipated. On the day she graduates Dh should file for an end to the CO. Then he needs to never reach for his wallet again re: his toxic entitlement scamming spawn and XW.
He can likely do this without an attorney but paying for a consultation to map out the process may be worth the cost.
I can tell you that you need
I can tell you that you need an order of emancipation in this state NJ and that if your child is in college, don't even think of getting that slip of paper until after they graduate. Google it!
All this is true. I was in the house when 20 year old daughter came down driveway with court order taking one of her father's car. And yes he did have stip in agreement that both parents would contribute to a car for use. Dh took that car away when she failed every class and ex went to court and got order dh to pay for everything....car, maintence, insurance.
Look, you can sue anyone for anything and then you need to defend yourself.
And yes, in this f$&@ing state, courts have ordered NCP to pay through grad school.
These girls know they have upper hand. They stick college book bills in the mail to dh without so much as a request.
And we always wondered how
And we always wondered how she got the same attorney when she would profess poverty to the court.
But again, why will they agree to emancipation when she is going to grad school?
Is it too late to legally
Is it too late to legally disown the little beotch? If any of my kids put me through that kind of hell I don't know if a parents love could keep the relationship going.
Dh refuses to give them any
Dh refuses to give them any feedback about their behavior. They of course want nothing to do with him, claiming they are the victims. However, dh is very codependent, very low self esteem, and this was the relationship with their mother. She used and manipulated him from the start of their first dating. She had utter scorn for him, and her daughters now treat him the same way.
Crazily, he still talks about hope for them. I know to keep my finances separate from him, and my eyes are wide open. He knows that I will never have any contact with them. I have never felt such revulsion and anger toward others as I feel toward them.